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I’m A Vampire & I Investigate The Supernatural. They Have Serial Killers Too

2020.11.28 16:37 HeadOfSpectre I’m A Vampire & I Investigate The Supernatural. They Have Serial Killers Too

One thing I’ve learned throughout my long life is that people aren’t as different from every other species on earth as they think they are. What some might call the traits that make us human aren’t all that exclusive to us. Rats are capable of empathy, gibbons form families that are much like our own and elephants mourn their dead just like we do. The emotional complexity of the other creatures on this earth is a fascinating subject… but there is a dark side to it.

Dolphins are capable of rape. Polar bears have been known to cannibalize each other and killing just for fun is a common behavior exhibited by many predators. Hell, if you looked through the animal kingdom I’m confident you’d find them committing just about every single abominable act under the sun. The only thing that really sets humanity apart is that we’re a little more self aware. We’re not above the depravity but we try to be. Maybe that counts for something. I really can’t say.

What fascinates me though, are the things that imitate humanity. Those beings who look like us, act like us and talk like us but aren’t strictly speaking human. I’m sure you’ve heard of Fae, for instance. They’re all over the spectrum. They’re intelligent (mostly) and although a few of the less human-like groups have no interest in pretending; some of them are damn near indistinguishable from anyone you’d pass on the street. You could drive yourself mad wondering about the nature of humanity. Where it begins or what is it that truly separates us from the animals. Intelligence, self awareness, empathy or something else entirely? I myself couldn’t even begin to come up with an answer and that’s a shame. You see, I hunt monsters for a living. You wouldn’t think it would be difficult to tell the difference between a person and an animal, but when most of the people you deal with aren’t technically human, that line can easily blur. It’s always those cases that stay with me. Putting down a mindless animal is one thing but going up against something that’s not all that different from you… Well… That’s a lot more complicated.

My name is Robert Marsh and I’m not exactly human myself. Not anymore. It shouldn’t be surprising that I’ve had quite a bit of experience with the supernatural… enough so that when it starts threatening regular people, I’m the one they call.

The International Fae Relations Bureaus Department of Public Safety didn’t normally poke their heads into isolated incidents. Strange bodies turning up every now and again were small potatoes. As grim as it sounds, shit happens. People run into all sorts of nasty creatures from time to time. There’s no way to stop it. However when a pattern comes up, that’s something they can’t ignore and when the latest incident involves a whole family of five turning up dead, that’s when I get a call.

The Swanson's had been a moderately well off family, living in a pretty house off of a country road. Well off the beaten path. It was an hours drive from my modest little apartment but at least I didn’t make it alone.

Della Rose, a woman with whom I’d had a complicated relationship with in the past sat beside me. When we’d first met and dated, she’d been just an ordinary girl and contrary to what pop culture might have some people believe, romance between ordinary girls and vampires doesn’t ever end well. It had been a few months since she’d come back into my life and circumstance had made it necessary to curse her with the same immortality that I tolerated. It had been a hasty decision, but better than leaving her to die. I didn’t turn her for the sake of company. I’m not quite that selfish… If there was a future for us, we weren’t quite ready for that discussion. For the time being, I was content to simply help her adjust to her new eternal life and to that end, she’d been helping me with my work. It had been years since I’d had a partner and so far, that arrangement had worked out nicely.

I could see the flashing lights of the police sirens cutting through the dark, marking the Swanson house as we drew near and pulled up the long driveway. I caught the eyes of a couple wary uniformed officers as we pulled up to the house but they didn’t try and stop me. Near the front door, I could see the shadow of a portly man in his forties. I recognized him even before I saw his face. Detective Rick Davis. An old friend of mine.

As Della and I got out of the car, Davis waited for us in the doorway. He took a final drag on his cigarette and watched us as we approached the door before he snuffed it and let us in.
“Nice to see you again Marsh.” He said. All business as usual. The inside of the Swanson house looked almost immaculately clean. You could have probably used it as a showhome. It was just the three of us in the house. As per standard protocol, the other officers had been removed from the scene prior to our arrival. It was better that they not see too much of us.

“Always a pleasure, Detective.” I replied. His gaze lingered on Della, a hint of mistrust in his eyes although he kept his mouth shut about that. “What are we looking at?” I asked. Best to keep things on track. Davis nodded towards the stairway.
“Bodies are upstairs in the main bedroom. Four victims. Two adults, two children.” He said.
“Four victims?” I asked, “I heard it was a family of five.”
“The youngest child, May is currently missing. We think that maybe they might have fled. We’ve got some officers searching for her now.”
“You think they ran?” I asked. Davis just shrugged and turned to lead us up the stairs.
“Possibly. I can’t imagine our perp was interested in kidnapping given the mess they left.”
He led us into the bedroom and stopped outside the door.
“See for yourself.”

I nodded at him before opening the door. I’d seen my fair share of corpses in the past, but seeing a child had never gotten easier. I’d known what I was walking into and grimaced at the sight of the still bodies on the floor. Beside me, Della let out a quiet gasp.
“Jesus…” She murmured as I stepped inside.
The man who used to be Mr. Swanson was on the bed, naked as the day he’d been born. His body was as pale as alabaster. His wife lay close to the door, crumpled on the floor and her two children were scattered about close to her.

The first thing I noticed was the blood, or the lack of it. Mr. Swanson had almost none around him although I could clearly see several bite marks on his body. Most of them were on his shoulders and some of them looked as if they’d been healing. Most of them. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that the ragged chunk torn out of his throat had been what had killed him. His wife and children on the other hand hadn’t been drained. They had been bitten, that much was clear but their bodies each had one single, fatal bite to the throat. From the look of it, they hadn’t fought much either. I imagined all three of them, lined up by the bed and quietly waiting their turn as the killer picked them off methodically…

“What did this? Della asked quietly, “Another vampire?” She stood over the bodies of the wife and children, careful to avoid stepping in the pool of blood that stained the carpet beneath them.
“Vampires aren’t the only hemovores out there.” I murmured as I leaned over the body of Mr. Swanson. I shifted his head to get a better look at the wound in his neck. The bite looked jagged, as if the flesh had been torn at. I studied the healing bites on his shoulders as well. Those looked to be a few days old. The bites been cleaner and hadn’t gotten much treatment.

“What else could have done this?” Della asked.
“My guess? A Siren.” I said before standing up. I gestured for her to join me by Mr. Swanson's corpse. “See the bite marks on his shoulders? Those are a few days old. They were healing. That’s usually where most sirens bite. Reduces the chance of killing the prey. If they go for the throat, well…”
Della looked at the ragged wound in Mr. Swanson's throat. She got the point.
“Bite pattern looks consistent too.” I noted, “Sirens have a mouth like a shark. Made to rip and tear… A siren would also explain the position of the bodies.”
“How?” Della asked. From the corner of my eye, I saw Davis leaning against the doorframe, listening intently.
“Well, what do we know about sirens from mythology?” I asked.

“They sing?” Della asked. She looked at me, then at Davis for confirmation.
“They hypnotize.” Davis said. “And they’re supposedly so beautiful that they’re irresistible to men. Like a honey trap, right?”
“More or less.” I said. “Reality isn’t all that far off. Most Sirens are female. They tend to target men looking for sex and then feed off them. They’re hemovores, just like us only they’ve also got a natural hypnosis to make the process easier. It doesn’t work on everyone, but it might explain why the wife and kids just stood there while our killer picked them off. They probably walked in on dinner.”
“Why not drain the wife and kids though?” Della asked.
“The stomach can only hold so much blood.” She’d already drained the husband. That’s enough to keep her fed for days.”
“So that’s it then.” Davis said, “I don’t suppose a siren might be behind the other bodies we’ve found?”

“It’s possible.” I said. “These days you don’t see as many siren deaths and you shouldn’t see any this close to Toronto… It doesn’t add up. They usually stay away from urban areas and most of their communities have rules against killing these days. It’s easier to stay hidden without bodies piling up. It still happens from time to time. Victims tend to get… addicted to them. They keep seeking the siren out. She accidentally takes too much, too fast and hides the body.”
“Well as of tonight, we’re at eleven victims in the past three weeks so obviously something isn’t right.” Davis said.
“Eleven?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. “Just like this?”
“That we know about. I can send you the reports. Same bite marks, same lack of blood. The whole shebang.” Davis replied.
“Why wasn’t the FRB contacted sooner?”

He shrugged.
“Most of them were nobodies. Bums downtown and all that jazz. A few were found in the water. We had no way to confirm anything strange was afoot… At least until now.”
“Christ…” I rubbed my temples. This wasn’t good. “That’s just in the GTA, right? What about outside? Northern Ontario, Quebec, maybe around the border?”
“I can check.” Davis said, “What exactly are you looking for?”
“I want to know where she’s hunting.” I replied, “Then maybe we can figure out where she’s coming from. There aren’t any active siren communities anywhere near the GTA so she’s got to be a stray.”
I watched as Davis scribbled some notes down in his pad.

“Get that information to me as soon as you can… In the meanwhile, I’m going to reach out to an old friend. See if she might know something.”
“A friend?” Davis asked.
“Somewhat. She might know a thing or two about any other sirens in the area. Maybe she’ll have an idea as to who we’re looking for.”
Davis gave a nod before closing his notepad.
“Alright then. I’ll let you know what I can dig up. I’ll leave you to finish up here.”
I nodded in return before taking out my camera to document the scene.

When Della and I left the Swanson house, we didn’t head back to our apartment. The night was young and it was the ideal time for a long drive. I could sense Dellas unease as she sat beside me. She didn’t need to say what was on her mind for me to know what was bothering her.
“It’s okay to be upset, you know.” I said. “It doesn’t get easier, no matter how long you live.”
“I don’t know if I should be comforted by that or not…” She murmured, “The smell was what bothered me the most. I could smell them starting to… Jesus…”
I offered her a comforting hand and she quietly took it.
“I get killing the wife to cover her tracks but the kids… What does that? I thought you told me Sirens weren’t that much different than us?”

“Most aren’t.” I replied. “Eleven victims though. Probably more… Think about it. You and I can feed without killing a person. Sirens can do the same. So why leave that big of a trail?”
Della grimaced. She didn’t answer, but she knew what I was getting at.
Our killer wasn’t killing for food. She was killing for fun.

Tevam Sound was almost a four hour drive away but it was more than worth it. Della and I spent some of the evening in an inexpensive motel in town before I went out looking for my contact. I knew she wasn’t going to be happy to see me, but the only other Siren I knew wasn’t exactly a local. I needed someone who was.

Shelby looked like an attractive girl in her mid twenties with short red curls and green eyes that seemed to shimmer like sunlight on the surface of a lake. She favored cutoff shorts and loose fitting tops that showed off her body and only barely hid the gills on her sides. At a glance, it would’ve been hard not to admire her and that was probably exactly what she wanted. Della and I just so happened to run into her at the local drug store. She’d been in one of the aisles when she spotted us and the moment she saw us, she knew it wasn’t an accident. I could see her brow furrow slightly and the ever so slight tense of her muscles. She watched me closely as I approached her, holding her ground as if she expected a fight.

“Well, well. Robert Marsh.” She said as I drew nearer. “Look, if you’re here about the cat food incident. It’s been thirty years. Just let it go.”
“Cat food incident?” Della asked. I ignored her.
“It’s nice to see you too, Shelby. You look nice. How’s domestic life treating you?”
Her lip curled upwards in an irritated snarl, exposing some of her jagged teeth.

“Peaceful and quiet.” She replied after a moment's hesitation. “I know this isn’t a social call. What do you want?”
“Why don’t we talk about that in private?” I asked. She scoffed.
“You ambush me at the drug store and then ask if we can talk in private? Seriously?”
“I knew you wouldn’t answer the door if I came to your house.”
“So you followed me?” She asked, then raised an eyebrow at Della. “Who’s the broad, and why didn’t she try to talk some sense into you?”
“This is Della. She’s a close friend.” I said.
“Is she now? And here I always thought you were gay... I’m in a hurry so talk fast.”
She picked a bottle of aspirin off the shelf and dropped it into the basket she had slung over one arm before continuing down the aisle. I followed her.

“I was hoping you might be able to help me find another Siren.”
“What? I’m not good enough for you?” She asked.
“A specific Siren. She’s left a hell of a trail of bodies.”
“Well it’s not me. I get my blood from tinder and I don’t leave bodies.”
Shelby rounded a corner and headed into another aisle where she stopped to look through the selection of tea.
“I figured it wasn’t. I’m looking for a stray. The kind that kills for fun.”
She paused. I saw a flicker in her eyes.

“I’ve got eleven bodies in the GTA over the past three weeks and I’m positive there’s more that haven’t been found yet.”
“Of course there’s more.” She said quietly before sighing, “Anybody get a good look at her?”
“There might be one witness but they’re MIA.” I said. “I don’t suppose there was anyone you can think of from the community at Silver Lake before… well…”
“Before everyone died. You don’t need to tiptoe around it. I got my closure. I’ve moved on.” Shelby said. “What kind of tea is best for headaches? I can’t tell the difference.”
“Ginger root or peppermint.” I said. She took one box of each.

“Any sister who was at Silver Lake is either dead or fled further north.” She said thoughtfully, “I doubt you’d have any luck asking around up there… I do remember that there was an incident about a year before everything went tits up though. A couple sisters had gotten bold and were luring prey into the community. I’m pretty sure Kayla was the one in charge. You remember her, right? The one with the stupid cowboy hat. Anyways, turns out some of the prey they lured was a little too young and she was always way too kill happy. They pushed the envelope a little too far, too many times and got kicked out for their trouble. Too little, too late if you ask me. It was probably their little stunt that led to the community getting discovered and wiped out.”
“Do you know where they went afterwards?” I asked. Shelby shrugged.

“I can’t say… I might’ve heard something about another sister in the area though…” She paused to think for a moment. “Yeah… Yeah, some of the students down at the University were having a party and I usually stop by since it’s easy pickings. I saw this one guy at the bar who was drunk off his ass and talking about a girl he’d fucked who’d bitten him. I guess it kinda sounded like Kayla. It definitely wasn’t me... I don’t exactly follow through with my prey. My sexual preference is dinner, so I tend to eat and run. But other than that I haven’t seen any signs of another sister in the area.”
“You didn’t happen to catch his name, did you?” Della asked hopefully.
“The bartender called him Derrick, I think? I haven’t seen him around since.”
Della went for her phone to message Davis.
“Is there anything else you might know?” I asked, “Anything at all?”

“Hate to say it but that’s all I’ve got.” Shelby said with a shrug. “Kayla’s gang are the only strays in the area I know about although most of them ditched her shortly after they got kicked out. One of them got killed for hunting in our territory and I heard another found a home south of the border. As for Kayla and her third friend, they dropped off the face of the earth… Could be you’re after two sisters. Either way, watch your ass. Especially if it is Kayla.”
“Noted.” I murmured.
“Davis says that Derrick Jackson’s body was found in Mississauga last week. Drained of blood, just like the others.” Della said, looking up at me and Shelby. “If Kayla was the one who attacked him…”
“She would’ve wanted to finish the job.” Shelby said. She pursed her lips before she sighed.
“Fuck me… Regardless of whether or not it is her, you two are going to have a hell of a time against a sister.”
“Are you offering to help?” I asked.

Offering.” She scoffed, “That’s funny. You’re not going to take out a sister without another sister on your side and as much and I don’t really feel all warm and fuzzy about sending you to get killed, even if you are a whiny prick.”
“We took down a ghoul a few weeks ago.” Della said, “It can’t be that much harder, can it?”
“My 1200 year old mother could pop a ghouls skull and she’s been dead for fifty years.” She replied. “Look, I’ve got to take care of something first. Make some arrangements and all that… But I can be ready to go in an hour. Maybe two.”
“We can wait around.'' I replied.”
“No shit, Count Fagula. One hour. I’ll meet you back at my place. It’ll be just like old times.” She clapped me on the shoulder before turning to leave us. As soon as she was gone, Della looked over at me.

“So…” She asked, “How exactly do you two know each other?”
“It’s complicated.” I replied, “I’ll tell you later. Right now, I think I need a drink.”

True to her word, we met up with Shelby about an hour later. She carried a small backpack with her and stood waiting by the front porch of a small but quaint suburban house. I thought I could see someone watching from the upstairs windows, but I didn’t get a good look at them.
“Everything taken care of?” I asked as Shelby got into my back seat.
“It’s fine. Let’s just get this over with.” She replied as I took off.
“I have to say, I never expected you of all people to end up going domestic. I would’ve figured you’d have gone up north with the others.”
“There’s no food up north.” Shelby replied, “Tevam Sound’s small but it’s got a steady, rotating supply of fresh blood.”
“And I’m sure that’s the only reason you stayed.” I teased. Through the rearview mirror, I could catch her glaring at me.
“I have a good friend in town. We have an arrangement. I reached out to a friend of mine. There’s a cottage a few hours from here owned by a ‘Kate Silver.’ I thought it might be a good place to look.”
“Kate Silver?” Della asked.

“Kate was one of the sisters who was kicked out with Kayla and the only one who isn’t accounted for. A lot of Sisters use the name of their community as a surname. Kate was always kinda a yes man. If I had to take a guess, I’d say she’s still with Kayla.”
“It’s a good place to start.” I said, “So. What’s the address?”
“415 Kings Trail. It’s a little bit past Sudbury but it’s right on the water and out of our territory. Not a bad place to hide if you ask me.”
“Isn’t that a little far from Toronto?” Della asked.
“It is, but even if Kate isn’t involved she might lead us to Kayla.” I replied. “We might as well talk to her.”
Della put the address into her phone and I looked back at Shelby. She was already looking at her own phone and tapping away at it.

“You sure you’re okay leaving your friend alone?”
“I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t know she’d be alright.” She replied. “Trust me. She can take care of herself. Just keep your eyes on the road and your head out of your ass and everything will turn out fine.”
I nodded and looked ahead at the road.

It was around 1 in the afternoon when we made it to the cottage. The sky was overcast and the air had a winter chill to it. The roads were nearly empty. Next to nobody was up in cottage country at that time of year. It was a lonely place that would’ve been a perfect place to hide. King’s Trail ran adjacent to a lake and a wispy mist hovered over the surface of the water.
“We got a new email from Davis.” Della said as we drove along the narrow road, “Looks like our number of victims has gone up to about thirty seven. Almost all of them were found in water. Most of them were killed during the past month.”
“Where exactly were they found?” I asked.
“All over the place. French River, Parry Sound, Gravenhurst, Barrie…”
“So between Sudbury and Toronto.” Shelby said, “I guess she commutes.”

I spotted a sign for 415 and turned down the driveway.
“It also places her in this area.” I said. The cottage ahead of us looked run down. Its wood paneling looked as if it was peeling off the exterior and had outright fallen off in some places. It looked abandoned but I spotted a blue Ford truck parked in the driveway. Somebody was clearly home.
I parked my sedan behind it before getting out.
“Why travel such a long distance though?” Della asked as she got out.
“Supply, probably.” Shelby replied, “I’d imagine you need to feed every few days, don’t you?” She asked.
“Yeah. Just about.” Della said.

“Well, it’s the same for us. Now, if you’re not killing your prey you can let them rest and come back to them when they’ve had time to recover. If you’re smart, you can get yourself a bunch of dumbass frat boys who think with their dicks and sorta just farm them. It’s still a fair hunt but you’re not depleting your supply. Start killing them on the other hand though…”
“It makes the hunt that much harder.” I finished as I approached the cottage. The lights inside were out. I couldn’t smell anyone inside although there was a faint stink of decay in the air that made me uneasy.
I tried the door. It was locked.
“Let me have a look at that.” Shelby said before she pushed past me. She tried the door as well before violently throwing her weight against it. Part of the door splintered as it swung open.

“Jesus…” I heard Della murmur under her breath as Shelby gestured for us to go inside. The interior of the cottage looked empty. There had once been furniture inside but now it looked as if it had been removed. The place seemed abandoned, save for the smell.
“Something died in here.” I noted as I walked into the cottages kitchen.
“Oh, really? Did your enhanced fucking senses pick that up?” Shelby asked. “Christ… Was she storing bodies in here? What the hell?” She covered her mouth and nose before entering the house after me.

The stink of death was overpowering. I doubted that Shelby could’ve found its source but I could. I wandered from the kitchen and into the hallway. The smell was coming from the bathroom and I braced myself for what I’d find in there as I pushed the door open. The bathtub was filled with water, and I could see the corpse of a woman floating inside. She’d been dead for some time, that much was clear. Her hands and feet were both bound with thick rope. It looked as if she’d been left to drown.

I covered my mouth with my sleeve at the sight of her and made myself step forwards. My eyes immediately went to her neck, looking for signs that she’d been bitten but I saw nothing. Instead, through her partially open mouth I glimpsed the jagged teeth of a siren.
“What is it?” Della called from behind me. She’d stayed outside, by the front door.
“We’ve got another body here!” I called and I could hear Shelby coming up behind me. She paused in the doorway as she saw the body, her eyes widening.
“Shit...” She murmured before hurrying to the side of the tub. “It’s Kate.”

“What happened to her?” I asked and watched as Shelby reached into the water. She lifted up Kate’s shirt, exposing her gills before grimacing in disgust.
“Someone stuffed her gills…” She said quietly.
“Excuse me?” I asked.
“They drowned her.” Shelby said, “Put something in her gills so she couldn’t breathe. Look at this…”
Slowly she reached into one of the gills and pulled out something round and dark red. I couldn’t tell what it was at first.
“Cotton balls… Fucking cotton balls. Fuck me…”

“You think Kayla did this?” I asked.
“Who the fuck else would’ve done it?” Shelby snapped. She looked down at the body again before forcing herself to exhale and shake her head.
“This… This is sick. She fucking tortured her! Hell, she didn’t even have the common fucking decency to bury her! She should be in the lake, buried! Not left up here to stink and rot! I-...”She stopped herself before going further and tried to force herself to be composed.
“I’ll need to make sure she’s properly buried before we leave… If you need pictures, evidence. Whatever. Just… Do it now…”
I managed a half nod before taking out my camera. I made it quick.

With the body documented, I left the cottage so Shelby could do what she needed to. Della was standing down by the floating dock, looking out over the misty lake. She looked back at me as I came down to join her.
“Is everything alright?” She asked.
“Yeah…” I replied, feeling tired. I smoothed down my hair as I looked out over the lake.
“The body belonged to Kate. Shelby’s asked to bury it. I think this just confirms that it’s Kayla we’re after.”
“That’s good, isn’t it?” Della asked. I gave a half nod.

“Yeah. The FRB will put out an alert on her. She’ll turn up soon enough…”
“You don’t sound too happy about that.” She noted.
“I’m fine with it. It’s just…” I paused. “She tortured one of her own. A friend from the sounds of it… Who does something like that? Who murders one of their own just because?”
“People do it all the time.” Della said, “I’ve killed people before.”
“Not for the hell of it you didn’t.” I rubbed my temple before sighing. “We’ll look through the cottage after Shelby’s done. See if we can’t find any hint as to where Kayla went.”

I felt Della reach for my hand and let her lace her fingers with mine. For a moment, we just stood there together in silence. In my pocket, I felt my phone buzz and shifted away from her so I could answer it. The number on the display belonged to Davis.
“Davis.” I said as I answered, “Good to hear from you.”
“How’s it going, Marsh?” He replied, “I think you’d be happy to hear that a neighbor just brought us little May Swanson about an hour ago. She’s safe.”
I let out a breath that I didn’t know I’d been holding.

“Perfect… I think I’ve got an ID on our killer. I’ll give you a full update when we meet up later. How’s the kid doing?”
“Scared but unharmed.” Davis said, “Seems like she got a good look at the killer but I’m having trouble getting any details out of her aside from the fact that she drove a blue truck.”
A blue truck.

My eyes shifted over to the blue Ford that was parked by the cottage. I’d assumed that it was Kates although if it had been sitting there for as long as she had, it should have been covered in fallen leaves and snow… It wasn’t.
“Excuse me? A blue truck?” I asked.
“My guess is the kid bolted and hid as soon as her parents got attacked. She must’ve seen the killer driving off.”
I traded a look with Della. She was looking at the truck too now. If that was Kayla’s truck, then she’d been at the cottage recently.

Or she was still there.

Where would a siren at a lakeside cottage hide?

Dellas head shifted to the side, looking over at some movement although she had no time to react before the dock was thrown upwards. Something burst out of the water beside it and as it did, the dock was violently upturned. Della was tossed into the water and as the spray fell I saw the figure of a woman standing in the lake, her eyes fixated on me.

Kayla.

It had been years since I’d seen her, but I recognized her all the same. Her long brown hair clung to her face and that cocky look in her eye was impossible to forget. I dropped my phone and went for the pistol in my belt, but by the time I drew it Kayla had already closed the distance between us. She grabbed the gun in my hand and violently ripped it from my grasp. Her other hand gripped me by the throat and with the same effort one might use to dispatch a child, she slammed me against the ground.
“Well, well. Robert Marsh, wasn’t it?” She coyly hissed. “It’s been a long time, hasn’t it handsome?”
She pressed my gun against my forehead, a knowing smile on her lips.

“Credit where it’s due. I wasn’t expecting someone like you to pop in before I was done cleaning up. But hey, shit happens, right?” She tossed the wet hair out of her eyes. “Well. Let’s just call it a happy little accident, shall we? What was that you were just saying on the phone, that kid finally turned up? Good news, right? I was kinda hoping she’d freeze to death but hey, at least I know for sure and that’s what matters! I appreciate the helping hand…”

I saw her finger tighten on the trigger and I looked her dead in the eye. If she was going to shoot me, I at least didn’t want to give her the satisfaction of making me cower. I don’t think it mattered to her either way. All I saw in her was a cold, sadistic anticipation.
“Kayla!”
At the sound of Shelby’s voice, I saw a new expression cross Kayla’s face. Concern. She looked over towards the cottage, to where Shelby stood just outside the back door. I could see a rage on her fact that even made me a little nervous. Kayla on the other hand seemed amused by it.
“Well, well. Hey there Shelby.” She said, “Did the Count here rope you into this? I thought you’d gone native.”
“Leave the vampire alone. We know what you’ve done. You’ve gone way too far this time. You’re not going to outrun it.”

“What? Are you going to have a word with the Elders?” Kayla scoffed, “Please. I know what happened to Silver Lake. There’s nothing left. The Elders are dead, as are our sisters. It’s only you and me now. The last two sisters of Silver Lake.”
“You lost your right to be called Sister when you were exiled!” Shelby snarled.
“Did I? Well then I suppose there goes any incentive I might’ve had not to kill you too.”
Kayla moved to aim the gun at Shelby and in doing so I saw my window and took it. I grabbed at her arm and forced it towards my mouth. She may have been physically stronger than me, but she still bled when bit. Her warm blood filled my mouth as I sank my teeth into her arm and for just a moment, her grip on the gun loosened.

She jerked backwards and I managed to kick her off of me. The gun fell from her grasp and I grabbed at it. From the corner of my eye, I saw Kayla’s eyes dart between myself and Shelby, who’d taken off towards her at a sprint. The woman wasn’t a fool. She knew she was outnumbered. As I tried to aim the gun at her, Kayla kicked me in the jaw before taking off towards her truck. She only barely made it there before Shelby reached her and slammed her into the grille of the Ford, pinning her against it.
“You lured the prey to Silver Lake.” Shelby snarled, “You were the one who doomed it! Their blood is on your hands.”

Kayla gritted her teeth and drove her first into Shelby’s neck, I heard her gag as she struggled to breathe. With a cry of exertion, Shelby was hurled to the ground as Kayla scrambled to the cabin of her truck. By the time Shelby was on her feet again, the engine had roared to life. The truck shot forwards, throwing Shelby up onto the hood where she rolled off and hit the ground in a heap. I forced myself up to my feet and took aim at the windshield. I only got off two shots before the truck hit me too and sent me back to the ground. My ears were ringing but I could see Kayla’s truck shoot backwards. Its rear crashed against my sedan before veering off the side of the driveway and backing out onto the road. A moment later, she was gone leaving only the sound of squealing rubber in her wake.

I could see Shelby starting to pick herself up, wincing in pain as she did. From the corner of my eye, I watched Della crawling out of the lake. She rushed to my side as I made myself stand.
“She’s going after the Swanson kid…” I rasped. “We’ve got to warn Davis.” I spotted my phone on the ground nearby and gestured to it. Della picked it up. She handed it to me and I dialed the number. Shelby stared bitterly in the direction Kayla had driven off in. She was ahead of us, but we weren’t out of the fight yet.

Part of me had hoped that we’d catch up to Kayla on the road, but we didn’t see a single trace of her. I wondered if perhaps she’d only suggested she was going after the child to throw us off. Send us back to Toronto so she could go elsewhere. I wasn’t going to bet on that, though. It was past sunset by the time we made it back to Toronto. We didn’t bother heading to Davis’ office. We knew he wouldn’t be there and neither would May Swanson. Rick Davis was many things but naive, he wasn’t.

Instead, we headed towards the city's west end, Etobicoke. It had been some time since I’d needed to visit Davis’ apartment there. It wasn’t his home. I’d never actually been to his home before, but I’d been to the apartment. He and a few of his associates had used it before as a safehouse. If there were any place he’d take May Swanson, it would be there. The apartment was in a more suburban part of town, in a duplex on a quiet and unassuming street. I parked the sedan out front and got out. My body was still a little sore from being run over by a mermaid serial killer earlier, but I knew I could manage.
“Doesn’t look like Kayla found him.” Della noted as we got out and went for the front door. I paused as soon as I noticed that it was open just a crack. Immediately I went for my gun and pushed my way inside. The apartment was dark but I could smell fresh blood. In the dim light, I could see a man lying against the wall. Alive, but wounded. Davis.

I swore under my breath and rushed to his side and heard him groan in pain. I could see the gash in his neck. He was losing blood. Fast. I put some pressure on his wound, trying to stop the bleeding if I could.
“Marsh…” He rasped. “The kid…”
“She’s here.” I called to the others, “She’s got the kid!”
I could hear Della behind me, her hand replaced my own to put pressure on Davis’ wound. Outside, I could hear the roar of an engine. We’d just missed her.

I took off like a shot, rushing past Shelby through the door and back out onto the street. I could see the taillights of the truck just down the street and I took aim. It was reckless, but I had no other choice. I squeezed off three shots before I heard the pop of Kayla’s rear tires. Her truck swerved and jerked, careening into another parked car. The Ford all but crushed it.

I kept my gun raised as I approached the crash. I saw one of the truck doors swing open. The small shape of a child dropped out onto the street and desperately tried to run. The driver's side door opened and I watched as Kayla stepped out. She straightened the ranchers hat on her head before fixing me in a frustrated glare.
“Terrible timing, Marsh.” She hissed. “Absolutely fucking terrible.”
“You’re not getting the kid, Kayla.” I said. “It’s over.”

“Oh? It’s over, says the prissy little vampire cop?” She scoffed, “You think I’m going to throw in the towel just because you tell me to? I’ve been an apex fucking predator for longer than you’ve been alive, vampire! It’s in my blood! My very nature! There’s no changing it. I am what I am, and what I am sweetheart… Is fucking hungry!

She took a step towards me, but I wasn’t going to let her close the distance this time. I pulled the trigger. The bullet struck her in the shoulder but it didn’t stop her. She threw herself at me and not a single bullet I fired was enough to slow her down. Then from the corner of my eye I saw movement. Something grabbed her and yanked her to the side, forcing her to the ground. In the streetlights, I saw Shelby standing over Kayla, keeping her pinned.
“Sorry, cowgirl. But the bullshit stops now!"

She snarled before breaking her nose. Her hands closed around Kayla’s throat, ready to choke the life out of her and I put a hand on Shelby’s shoulder. I kept my gun trained Kayla.
“Don’t!” I warned her.
“Why? You know she deserves it. We should stuff her gills… Drown her like she drowned Kate…”
“Not right here, Shelby.”
She opened her mouth to protest before she saw exactly what I meant.

The gunshots and commotion hadn’t gone unnoticed. People had come out of their houses. Countless eyes were upon us. This wasn’t the place to put a mad dog down, even if she had it coming. I saw Shelby’s grip on Kayla’s neck loosen. I kept my gun trained on her head, but she was out cold. She’d stay that way until the distant police sirens made it to us.

Detective Davis was lucky, as was May Swanson. Both came out of that night alive. I suppose Kayla was lucky that she did too… It wasn’t easy to keep Shelby from finishing the job behind closed doors, but I managed to convince her to settle for detention. It was a small comfort to see Kayla shipped off somewhere where I doubted she’d ever see the light of day again. Personally, I wouldn’t have minded seeing her put down, but I don’t make those rules. All I do is enforce them as best I can.

When Della and I parted ways with Shelby back in Tevam Sound the next day, I honestly was hoping I’d see her again and maybe I will. Only under better circumstances. Maybe next time, I can see what kind of life she’s carved out for herself. Maybe someday I can have one of my own.
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2020.11.28 16:35 HeadOfSpectre The Siren

One thing I’ve learned throughout my long life is that people aren’t as different from every other species on earth as they think they are. What some might call the traits that make us human aren’t all that exclusive to us. Rats are capable of empathy, gibbons form families that are much like our own and elephants mourn their dead just like we do. The emotional complexity of the other creatures on this earth is a fascinating subject… but there is a dark side to it.

Dolphins are capable of rape. Polar bears have been known to cannibalize each other and killing just for fun is a common behavior exhibited by many predators. Hell, if you looked through the animal kingdom I’m confident you’d find them committing just about every single abominable act under the sun. The only thing that really sets humanity apart is that we’re a little more self aware. We’re not above the depravity but we try to be. Maybe that counts for something. I really can’t say.

What fascinates me though, are the things that imitate humanity. Those beings who look like us, act like us and talk like us but aren’t strictly speaking human. I’m sure you’ve heard of Fae, for instance. They’re all over the spectrum. They’re intelligent (mostly) and although a few of the less human-like groups have no interest in pretending; some of them are damn near indistinguishable from anyone you’d pass on the street. You could drive yourself mad wondering about the nature of humanity. Where it begins or what is it that truly separates us from the animals. Intelligence, self awareness, empathy or something else entirely? I myself couldn’t even begin to come up with an answer and that’s a shame. You see, I hunt monsters for a living. You wouldn’t think it would be difficult to tell the difference between a person and an animal, but when most of the people you deal with aren’t technically human, that line can easily blur. It’s always those cases that stay with me. Putting down a mindless animal is one thing but going up against something that’s not all that different from you… Well… That’s a lot more complicated.

My name is Robert Marsh and I’m not exactly human myself. Not anymore. It shouldn’t be surprising that I’ve had quite a bit of experience with the supernatural… enough so that when it starts threatening regular people, I’m the one they call.

The International Fae Relations Bureaus Department of Public Safety didn’t normally poke their heads into isolated incidents. Strange bodies turning up every now and again were small potatoes. As grim as it sounds, shit happens. People run into all sorts of nasty creatures from time to time. There’s no way to stop it. However when a pattern comes up, that’s something they can’t ignore and when the latest incident involves a whole family of five turning up dead, that’s when I get a call.

The Swanson's had been a moderately well off family, living in a pretty house off of a country road. Well off the beaten path. It was an hours drive from my modest little apartment but at least I didn’t make it alone.

Della Rose, a woman with whom I’d had a complicated relationship with in the past sat beside me. When we’d first met and dated, she’d been just an ordinary girl and contrary to what pop culture might have some people believe, romance between ordinary girls and vampires doesn’t ever end well. It had been a few months since she’d come back into my life and circumstance had made it necessary to curse her with the same immortality that I tolerated. It had been a hasty decision, but better than leaving her to die. I didn’t turn her for the sake of company. I’m not quite that selfish… If there was a future for us, we weren’t quite ready for that discussion. For the time being, I was content to simply help her adjust to her new eternal life and to that end, she’d been helping me with my work. It had been years since I’d had a partner and so far, that arrangement had worked out nicely.

I could see the flashing lights of the police sirens cutting through the dark, marking the Swanson house as we drew near and pulled up the long driveway. I caught the eyes of a couple wary uniformed officers as we pulled up to the house but they didn’t try and stop me. Near the front door, I could see the shadow of a portly man in his forties. I recognized him even before I saw his face. Detective Rick Davis. An old friend of mine.

As Della and I got out of the car, Davis waited for us in the doorway. He took a final drag on his cigarette and watched us as we approached the door before he snuffed it and let us in.
“Nice to see you again Marsh.” He said. All business as usual. The inside of the Swanson house looked almost immaculately clean. You could have probably used it as a showhome. It was just the three of us in the house. As per standard protocol, the other officers had been removed from the scene prior to our arrival. It was better that they not see too much of us.

“Always a pleasure, Detective.” I replied. His gaze lingered on Della, a hint of mistrust in his eyes although he kept his mouth shut about that. “What are we looking at?” I asked. Best to keep things on track. Davis nodded towards the stairway.
“Bodies are upstairs in the main bedroom. Four victims. Two adults, two children.” He said.
“Four victims?” I asked, “I heard it was a family of five.”
“The youngest child, May is currently missing. We think that maybe they might have fled. We’ve got some officers searching for her now.”
“You think they ran?” I asked. Davis just shrugged and turned to lead us up the stairs.
“Possibly. I can’t imagine our perp was interested in kidnapping given the mess they left.”
He led us into the bedroom and stopped outside the door.
“See for yourself.”

I nodded at him before opening the door. I’d seen my fair share of corpses in the past, but seeing a child had never gotten easier. I’d known what I was walking into and grimaced at the sight of the still bodies on the floor. Beside me, Della let out a quiet gasp.
“Jesus…” She murmured as I stepped inside.
The man who used to be Mr. Swanson was on the bed, naked as the day he’d been born. His body was as pale as alabaster. His wife lay close to the door, crumpled on the floor and her two children were scattered about close to her.

The first thing I noticed was the blood, or the lack of it. Mr. Swanson had almost none around him although I could clearly see several bite marks on his body. Most of them were on his shoulders and some of them looked as if they’d been healing. Most of them. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that the ragged chunk torn out of his throat had been what had killed him. His wife and children on the other hand hadn’t been drained. They had been bitten, that much was clear but their bodies each had one single, fatal bite to the throat. From the look of it, they hadn’t fought much either. I imagined all three of them, lined up by the bed and quietly waiting their turn as the killer picked them off methodically…

“What did this? Della asked quietly, “Another vampire?” She stood over the bodies of the wife and children, careful to avoid stepping in the pool of blood that stained the carpet beneath them.
“Vampires aren’t the only hemovores out there.” I murmured as I leaned over the body of Mr. Swanson. I shifted his head to get a better look at the wound in his neck. The bite looked jagged, as if the flesh had been torn at. I studied the healing bites on his shoulders as well. Those looked to be a few days old. The bites been cleaner and hadn’t gotten much treatment.

“What else could have done this?” Della asked.
“My guess? A Siren.” I said before standing up. I gestured for her to join me by Mr. Swanson's corpse. “See the bite marks on his shoulders? Those are a few days old. They were healing. That’s usually where most sirens bite. Reduces the chance of killing the prey. If they go for the throat, well…”
Della looked at the ragged wound in Mr. Swanson's throat. She got the point.
“Bite pattern looks consistent too.” I noted, “Sirens have a mouth like a shark. Made to rip and tear… A siren would also explain the position of the bodies.”
“How?” Della asked. From the corner of my eye, I saw Davis leaning against the doorframe, listening intently.
“Well, what do we know about sirens from mythology?” I asked.

“They sing?” Della asked. She looked at me, then at Davis for confirmation.
“They hypnotize.” Davis said. “And they’re supposedly so beautiful that they’re irresistible to men. Like a honey trap, right?”
“More or less.” I said. “Reality isn’t all that far off. Most Sirens are female. They tend to target men looking for sex and then feed off them. They’re hemovores, just like us only they’ve also got a natural hypnosis to make the process easier. It doesn’t work on everyone, but it might explain why the wife and kids just stood there while our killer picked them off. They probably walked in on dinner.”
“Why not drain the wife and kids though?” Della asked.
“The stomach can only hold so much blood.” She’d already drained the husband. That’s enough to keep her fed for days.”
“So that’s it then.” Davis said, “I don’t suppose a siren might be behind the other bodies we’ve found?”

“It’s possible.” I said. “These days you don’t see as many siren deaths and you shouldn’t see any this close to Toronto… It doesn’t add up. They usually stay away from urban areas and most of their communities have rules against killing these days. It’s easier to stay hidden without bodies piling up. It still happens from time to time. Victims tend to get… addicted to them. They keep seeking the siren out. She accidentally takes too much, too fast and hides the body.”
“Well as of tonight, we’re at eleven victims in the past three weeks so obviously something isn’t right.” Davis said.
“Eleven?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. “Just like this?”
“That we know about. I can send you the reports. Same bite marks, same lack of blood. The whole shebang.” Davis replied.
“Why wasn’t the FRB contacted sooner?”

He shrugged.
“Most of them were nobodies. Bums downtown and all that jazz. A few were found in the water. We had no way to confirm anything strange was afoot… At least until now.”
“Christ…” I rubbed my temples. This wasn’t good. “That’s just in the GTA, right? What about outside? Northern Ontario, Quebec, maybe around the border?”
“I can check.” Davis said, “What exactly are you looking for?”
“I want to know where she’s hunting.” I replied, “Then maybe we can figure out where she’s coming from. There aren’t any active siren communities anywhere near the GTA so she’s got to be a stray.”
I watched as Davis scribbled some notes down in his pad.

“Get that information to me as soon as you can… In the meanwhile, I’m going to reach out to an old friend. See if she might know something.”
“A friend?” Davis asked.
“Somewhat. She might know a thing or two about any other sirens in the area. Maybe she’ll have an idea as to who we’re looking for.”
Davis gave a nod before closing his notepad.
“Alright then. I’ll let you know what I can dig up. I’ll leave you to finish up here.”
I nodded in return before taking out my camera to document the scene.

When Della and I left the Swanson house, we didn’t head back to our apartment. The night was young and it was the ideal time for a long drive. I could sense Dellas unease as she sat beside me. She didn’t need to say what was on her mind for me to know what was bothering her.
“It’s okay to be upset, you know.” I said. “It doesn’t get easier, no matter how long you live.”
“I don’t know if I should be comforted by that or not…” She murmured, “The smell was what bothered me the most. I could smell them starting to… Jesus…”
I offered her a comforting hand and she quietly took it.
“I get killing the wife to cover her tracks but the kids… What does that? I thought you told me Sirens weren’t that much different than us?”

“Most aren’t.” I replied. “Eleven victims though. Probably more… Think about it. You and I can feed without killing a person. Sirens can do the same. So why leave that big of a trail?”
Della grimaced. She didn’t answer, but she knew what I was getting at.
Our killer wasn’t killing for food. She was killing for fun.

Tevam Sound was almost a four hour drive away but it was more than worth it. Della and I spent some of the evening in an inexpensive motel in town before I went out looking for my contact. I knew she wasn’t going to be happy to see me, but the only other Siren I knew wasn’t exactly a local. I needed someone who was.

Shelby looked like an attractive girl in her mid twenties with short red curls and green eyes that seemed to shimmer like sunlight on the surface of a lake. She favored cutoff shorts and loose fitting tops that showed off her body and only barely hid the gills on her sides. At a glance, it would’ve been hard not to admire her and that was probably exactly what she wanted. Della and I just so happened to run into her at the local drug store. She’d been in one of the aisles when she spotted us and the moment she saw us, she knew it wasn’t an accident. I could see her brow furrow slightly and the ever so slight tense of her muscles. She watched me closely as I approached her, holding her ground as if she expected a fight.

“Well, well. Robert Marsh.” She said as I drew nearer. “Look, if you’re here about the cat food incident. It’s been thirty years. Just let it go.”
“Cat food incident?” Della asked. I ignored her.
“It’s nice to see you too, Shelby. You look nice. How’s domestic life treating you?”
Her lip curled upwards in an irritated snarl, exposing some of her jagged teeth.

“Peaceful and quiet.” She replied after a moment's hesitation. “I know this isn’t a social call. What do you want?”
“Why don’t we talk about that in private?” I asked. She scoffed.
“You ambush me at the drug store and then ask if we can talk in private? Seriously?”
“I knew you wouldn’t answer the door if I came to your house.”
“So you followed me?” She asked, then raised an eyebrow at Della. “Who’s the broad, and why didn’t she try to talk some sense into you?”
“This is Della. She’s a close friend.” I said.
“Is she now? And here I always thought you were gay... I’m in a hurry so talk fast.”
She picked a bottle of aspirin off the shelf and dropped it into the basket she had slung over one arm before continuing down the aisle. I followed her.

“I was hoping you might be able to help me find another Siren.”
“What? I’m not good enough for you?” She asked.
“A specific Siren. She’s left a hell of a trail of bodies.”
“Well it’s not me. I get my blood from tinder and I don’t leave bodies.”
Shelby rounded a corner and headed into another aisle where she stopped to look through the selection of tea.
“I figured it wasn’t. I’m looking for a stray. The kind that kills for fun.”
She paused. I saw a flicker in her eyes.

“I’ve got eleven bodies in the GTA over the past three weeks and I’m positive there’s more that haven’t been found yet.”
“Of course there’s more.” She said quietly before sighing, “Anybody get a good look at her?”
“There might be one witness but they’re MIA.” I said. “I don’t suppose there was anyone you can think of from the community at Silver Lake before… well…”
“Before everyone died. You don’t need to tiptoe around it. I got my closure. I’ve moved on.” Shelby said. “What kind of tea is best for headaches? I can’t tell the difference.”
“Ginger root or peppermint.” I said. She took one box of each.

“Any sister who was at Silver Lake is either dead or fled further north.” She said thoughtfully, “I doubt you’d have any luck asking around up there… I do remember that there was an incident about a year before everything went tits up though. A couple sisters had gotten bold and were luring prey into the community. I’m pretty sure Kayla was the one in charge. You remember her, right? The one with the stupid cowboy hat. Anyways, turns out some of the prey they lured was a little too young and she was always way too kill happy. They pushed the envelope a little too far, too many times and got kicked out for their trouble. Too little, too late if you ask me. It was probably their little stunt that led to the community getting discovered and wiped out.”
“Do you know where they went afterwards?” I asked. Shelby shrugged.

“I can’t say… I might’ve heard something about another sister in the area though…” She paused to think for a moment. “Yeah… Yeah, some of the students down at the University were having a party and I usually stop by since it’s easy pickings. I saw this one guy at the bar who was drunk off his ass and talking about a girl he’d fucked who’d bitten him. I guess it kinda sounded like Kayla. It definitely wasn’t me... I don’t exactly follow through with my prey. My sexual preference is dinner, so I tend to eat and run. But other than that I haven’t seen any signs of another sister in the area.”
“You didn’t happen to catch his name, did you?” Della asked hopefully.
“The bartender called him Derrick, I think? I haven’t seen him around since.”
Della went for her phone to message Davis.
“Is there anything else you might know?” I asked, “Anything at all?”

“Hate to say it but that’s all I’ve got.” Shelby said with a shrug. “Kayla’s gang are the only strays in the area I know about although most of them ditched her shortly after they got kicked out. One of them got killed for hunting in our territory and I heard another found a home south of the border. As for Kayla and her third friend, they dropped off the face of the earth… Could be you’re after two sisters. Either way, watch your ass. Especially if it is Kayla.”
“Noted.” I murmured.
“Davis says that Derrick Jackson’s body was found in Mississauga last week. Drained of blood, just like the others.” Della said, looking up at me and Shelby. “If Kayla was the one who attacked him…”
“She would’ve wanted to finish the job.” Shelby said. She pursed her lips before she sighed.
“Fuck me… Regardless of whether or not it is her, you two are going to have a hell of a time against a sister.”
“Are you offering to help?” I asked.

Offering.” She scoffed, “That’s funny. You’re not going to take out a sister without another sister on your side and as much and I don’t really feel all warm and fuzzy about sending you to get killed, even if you are a whiny prick.”
“We took down a ghoul a few weeks ago.” Della said, “It can’t be that much harder, can it?”
“My 1200 year old mother could pop a ghouls skull and she’s been dead for fifty years.” She replied. “Look, I’ve got to take care of something first. Make some arrangements and all that… But I can be ready to go in an hour. Maybe two.”
“We can wait around.'' I replied.”
“No shit, Count Fagula. One hour. I’ll meet you back at my place. It’ll be just like old times.” She clapped me on the shoulder before turning to leave us. As soon as she was gone, Della looked over at me.

“So…” She asked, “How exactly do you two know each other?”
“It’s complicated.” I replied, “I’ll tell you later. Right now, I think I need a drink.”

True to her word, we met up with Shelby about an hour later. She carried a small backpack with her and stood waiting by the front porch of a small but quaint suburban house. I thought I could see someone watching from the upstairs windows, but I didn’t get a good look at them.
“Everything taken care of?” I asked as Shelby got into my back seat.
“It’s fine. Let’s just get this over with.” She replied as I took off.
“I have to say, I never expected you of all people to end up going domestic. I would’ve figured you’d have gone up north with the others.”
“There’s no food up north.” Shelby replied, “Tevam Sound’s small but it’s got a steady, rotating supply of fresh blood.”
“And I’m sure that’s the only reason you stayed.” I teased. Through the rearview mirror, I could catch her glaring at me.
“I have a good friend in town. We have an arrangement. I reached out to a friend of mine. There’s a cottage a few hours from here owned by a ‘Kate Silver.’ I thought it might be a good place to look.”
“Kate Silver?” Della asked.

“Kate was one of the sisters who was kicked out with Kayla and the only one who isn’t accounted for. A lot of Sisters use the name of their community as a surname. Kate was always kinda a yes man. If I had to take a guess, I’d say she’s still with Kayla.”
“It’s a good place to start.” I said, “So. What’s the address?”
“415 Kings Trail. It’s a little bit past Sudbury but it’s right on the water and out of our territory. Not a bad place to hide if you ask me.”
“Isn’t that a little far from Toronto?” Della asked.
“It is, but even if Kate isn’t involved she might lead us to Kayla.” I replied. “We might as well talk to her.”
Della put the address into her phone and I looked back at Shelby. She was already looking at her own phone and tapping away at it.

“You sure you’re okay leaving your friend alone?”
“I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t know she’d be alright.” She replied. “Trust me. She can take care of herself. Just keep your eyes on the road and your head out of your ass and everything will turn out fine.”
I nodded and looked ahead at the road.

It was around 1 in the afternoon when we made it to the cottage. The sky was overcast and the air had a winter chill to it. The roads were nearly empty. Next to nobody was up in cottage country at that time of year. It was a lonely place that would’ve been a perfect place to hide. King’s Trail ran adjacent to a lake and a wispy mist hovered over the surface of the water.
“We got a new email from Davis.” Della said as we drove along the narrow road, “Looks like our number of victims has gone up to about thirty seven. Almost all of them were found in water. Most of them were killed during the past month.”
“Where exactly were they found?” I asked.
“All over the place. French River, Parry Sound, Gravenhurst, Barrie…”
“So between Sudbury and Toronto.” Shelby said, “I guess she commutes.”

I spotted a sign for 415 and turned down the driveway.
“It also places her in this area.” I said. The cottage ahead of us looked run down. Its wood paneling looked as if it was peeling off the exterior and had outright fallen off in some places. It looked abandoned but I spotted a blue Ford truck parked in the driveway. Somebody was clearly home.
I parked my sedan behind it before getting out.
“Why travel such a long distance though?” Della asked as she got out.
“Supply, probably.” Shelby replied, “I’d imagine you need to feed every few days, don’t you?” She asked.
“Yeah. Just about.” Della said.

“Well, it’s the same for us. Now, if you’re not killing your prey you can let them rest and come back to them when they’ve had time to recover. If you’re smart, you can get yourself a bunch of dumbass frat boys who think with their dicks and sorta just farm them. It’s still a fair hunt but you’re not depleting your supply. Start killing them on the other hand though…”
“It makes the hunt that much harder.” I finished as I approached the cottage. The lights inside were out. I couldn’t smell anyone inside although there was a faint stink of decay in the air that made me uneasy.
I tried the door. It was locked.
“Let me have a look at that.” Shelby said before she pushed past me. She tried the door as well before violently throwing her weight against it. Part of the door splintered as it swung open.

“Jesus…” I heard Della murmur under her breath as Shelby gestured for us to go inside. The interior of the cottage looked empty. There had once been furniture inside but now it looked as if it had been removed. The place seemed abandoned, save for the smell.
“Something died in here.” I noted as I walked into the cottages kitchen.
“Oh, really? Did your enhanced fucking senses pick that up?” Shelby asked. “Christ… Was she storing bodies in here? What the hell?” She covered her mouth and nose before entering the house after me.

The stink of death was overpowering. I doubted that Shelby could’ve found its source but I could. I wandered from the kitchen and into the hallway. The smell was coming from the bathroom and I braced myself for what I’d find in there as I pushed the door open. The bathtub was filled with water, and I could see the corpse of a woman floating inside. She’d been dead for some time, that much was clear. Her hands and feet were both bound with thick rope. It looked as if she’d been left to drown.

I covered my mouth with my sleeve at the sight of her and made myself step forwards. My eyes immediately went to her neck, looking for signs that she’d been bitten but I saw nothing. Instead, through her partially open mouth I glimpsed the jagged teeth of a siren.
“What is it?” Della called from behind me. She’d stayed outside, by the front door.
“We’ve got another body here!” I called and I could hear Shelby coming up behind me. She paused in the doorway as she saw the body, her eyes widening.
“Shit...” She murmured before hurrying to the side of the tub. “It’s Kate.”

“What happened to her?” I asked and watched as Shelby reached into the water. She lifted up Kate’s shirt, exposing her gills before grimacing in disgust.
“Someone stuffed her gills…” She said quietly.
“Excuse me?” I asked.
“They drowned her.” Shelby said, “Put something in her gills so she couldn’t breathe. Look at this…”
Slowly she reached into one of the gills and pulled out something round and dark red. I couldn’t tell what it was at first.
“Cotton balls… Fucking cotton balls. Fuck me…”

“You think Kayla did this?” I asked.
“Who the fuck else would’ve done it?” Shelby snapped. She looked down at the body again before forcing herself to exhale and shake her head.
“This… This is sick. She fucking tortured her! Hell, she didn’t even have the common fucking decency to bury her! She should be in the lake, buried! Not left up here to stink and rot! I-...” She stopped herself before going further and tried to force herself to be composed.
“I’ll need to make sure she’s properly buried before we leave… If you need pictures, evidence. Whatever. Just… Do it now…”
I managed a half nod before taking out my camera. I made it quick.

With the body documented, I left the cottage so Shelby could do what she needed to. Della was standing down by the floating dock, looking out over the misty lake. She looked back at me as I came down to join her.
“Is everything alright?” She asked.
“Yeah…” I replied, feeling tired. I smoothed down my hair as I looked out over the lake.
“The body belonged to Kate. Shelby’s asked to bury it. I think this just confirms that it’s Kayla we’re after.”
“That’s good, isn’t it?” Della asked. I gave a half nod.

“Yeah. The FRB will put out an alert on her. She’ll turn up soon enough…”
“You don’t sound too happy about that.” She noted.
“I’m fine with it. It’s just…” I paused. “She tortured one of her own. A friend from the sounds of it… Who does something like that? Who murders one of their own just because?”
“People do it all the time.” Della said, “I’ve killed people before.”
“Not for the hell of it you didn’t.” I rubbed my temple before sighing. “We’ll look through the cottage after Shelby’s done. See if we can’t find any hint as to where Kayla went.”

I felt Della reach for my hand and let her lace her fingers with mine. For a moment, we just stood there together in silence. In my pocket, I felt my phone buzz and shifted away from her so I could answer it. The number on the display belonged to Davis.
“Davis.” I said as I answered, “Good to hear from you.”
“How’s it going, Marsh?” He replied, “I think you’d be happy to hear that a neighbor just brought us little May Swanson about an hour ago. She’s safe.”
I let out a breath that I didn’t know I’d been holding.

“Perfect… I think I’ve got an ID on our killer. I’ll give you a full update when we meet up later. How’s the kid doing?”
“Scared but unharmed.” Davis said, “Seems like she got a good look at the killer but I’m having trouble getting any details out of her aside from the fact that she drove a blue truck.”
A blue truck.

My eyes shifted over to the blue Ford that was parked by the cottage. I’d assumed that it was Kates although if it had been sitting there for as long as she had, it should have been covered in fallen leaves and snow… It wasn’t.
“Excuse me? A blue truck?” I asked.
“My guess is the kid bolted and hid as soon as her parents got attacked. She must’ve seen the killer driving off.”
I traded a look with Della. She was looking at the truck too now. If that was Kayla’s truck, then she’d been at the cottage recently.

Or she was still there.

Where would a siren at a lakeside cottage hide?

Dellas head shifted to the side, looking over at some movement although she had no time to react before the dock was thrown upwards. Something burst out of the water beside it and as it did, the dock was violently upturned. Della was tossed into the water and as the spray fell I saw the figure of a woman standing in the lake, her eyes fixated on me.

Kayla.

It had been years since I’d seen her, but I recognized her all the same. Her long brown hair clung to her face and that cocky look in her eye was impossible to forget. I dropped my phone and went for the pistol in my belt, but by the time I drew it Kayla had already closed the distance between us. She grabbed the gun in my hand and violently ripped it from my grasp. Her other hand gripped me by the throat and with the same effort one might use to dispatch a child, she slammed me against the ground.
“Well, well. Robert Marsh, wasn’t it?” She coyly hissed. “It’s been a long time, hasn’t it handsome?”
She pressed my gun against my forehead, a knowing smile on her lips.

“Credit where it’s due. I wasn’t expecting someone like you to pop in before I was done cleaning up. But hey, shit happens, right?” She tossed the wet hair out of her eyes. “Well. Let’s just call it a happy little accident, shall we? What was that you were just saying on the phone, that kid finally turned up? Good news, right? I was kinda hoping she’d freeze to death but hey, at least I know for sure and that’s what matters! I appreciate the helping hand…”

I saw her finger tighten on the trigger and I looked her dead in the eye. If she was going to shoot me, I at least didn’t want to give her the satisfaction of making me cower. I don’t think it mattered to her either way. All I saw in her was a cold, sadistic anticipation.
“Kayla!”
At the sound of Shelby’s voice, I saw a new expression cross Kayla’s face. Concern. She looked over towards the cottage, to where Shelby stood just outside the back door. I could see a rage on her fact that even made me a little nervous. Kayla on the other hand seemed amused by it.
“Well, well. Hey there Shelby.” She said, “Did the Count here rope you into this? I thought you’d gone native.”
“Leave the vampire alone. We know what you’ve done. You’ve gone way too far this time. You’re not going to outrun it.”

“What? Are you going to have a word with the Elders?” Kayla scoffed, “Please. I know what happened to Silver Lake. There’s nothing left. The Elders are dead, as are our sisters. It’s only you and me now. The last two sisters of Silver Lake.”
“You lost your right to be called Sister when you were exiled!” Shelby snarled.
“Did I? Well then I suppose there goes any incentive I might’ve had not to kill you too.”
Kayla moved to aim the gun at Shelby and in doing so I saw my window and took it. I grabbed at her arm and forced it towards my mouth. She may have been physically stronger than me, but she still bled when bit. Her warm blood filled my mouth as I sank my teeth into her arm and for just a moment, her grip on the gun loosened.

She jerked backwards and I managed to kick her off of me. The gun fell from her grasp and I grabbed at it. From the corner of my eye, I saw Kayla’s eyes dart between myself and Shelby, who’d taken off towards her at a sprint. The woman wasn’t a fool. She knew she was outnumbered. As I tried to aim the gun at her, Kayla kicked me in the jaw before taking off towards her truck. She only barely made it there before Shelby reached her and slammed her into the grille of the Ford, pinning her against it.
“You lured the prey to Silver Lake.” Shelby snarled, “You were the one who doomed it! Their blood is on your hands.”

Kayla gritted her teeth and drove her first into Shelby’s neck, I heard her gag as she struggled to breathe. With a cry of exertion, Shelby was hurled to the ground as Kayla scrambled to the cabin of her truck. By the time Shelby was on her feet again, the engine had roared to life. The truck shot forwards, throwing Shelby up onto the hood where she rolled off and hit the ground in a heap. I forced myself up to my feet and took aim at the windshield. I only got off two shots before the truck hit me too and sent me back to the ground. My ears were ringing but I could see Kayla’s truck shoot backwards. Its rear crashed against my sedan before veering off the side of the driveway and backing out onto the road. A moment later, she was gone leaving only the sound of squealing rubber in her wake.

I could see Shelby starting to pick herself up, wincing in pain as she did. From the corner of my eye, I watched Della crawling out of the lake. She rushed to my side as I made myself stand.
“She’s going after the Swanson kid…” I rasped. “We’ve got to warn Davis.” I spotted my phone on the ground nearby and gestured to it. Della picked it up. She handed it to me and I dialed the number. Shelby stared bitterly in the direction Kayla had driven off in. She was ahead of us, but we weren’t out of the fight yet.

Part of me had hoped that we’d catch up to Kayla on the road, but we didn’t see a single trace of her. I wondered if perhaps she’d only suggested she was going after the child to throw us off. Send us back to Toronto so she could go elsewhere. I wasn’t going to bet on that, though. It was past sunset by the time we made it back to Toronto. We didn’t bother heading to Davis’ office. We knew he wouldn’t be there and neither would May Swanson. Rick Davis was many things but naive, he wasn’t.

Instead, we headed towards the city's west end, Etobicoke. It had been some time since I’d needed to visit Davis’ apartment there. It wasn’t his home. I’d never actually been to his home before, but I’d been to the apartment. He and a few of his associates had used it before as a safehouse. If there were any place he’d take May Swanson, it would be there. The apartment was in a more suburban part of town, in a duplex on a quiet and unassuming street. I parked the sedan out front and got out. My body was still a little sore from being run over by a mermaid serial killer earlier, but I knew I could manage.
“Doesn’t look like Kayla found him.” Della noted as we got out and went for the front door. I paused as soon as I noticed that it was open just a crack. Immediately I went for my gun and pushed my way inside. The apartment was dark but I could smell fresh blood. In the dim light, I could see a man lying against the wall. Alive, but wounded. Davis.

I swore under my breath and rushed to his side and heard him groan in pain. I could see the gash in his neck. He was losing blood. Fast. I put some pressure on his wound, trying to stop the bleeding if I could.
“Marsh…” He rasped. “The kid…”
“She’s here.” I called to the others, “She’s got the kid!”
I could hear Della behind me, her hand replaced my own to put pressure on Davis’ wound. Outside, I could hear the roar of an engine. We’d just missed her.

I took off like a shot, rushing past Shelby through the door and back out onto the street. I could see the taillights of the truck just down the street and I took aim. It was reckless, but I had no other choice. I squeezed off three shots before I heard the pop of Kayla’s rear tires. Her truck swerved and jerked, careening into another parked car. The Ford all but crushed it.

I kept my gun raised as I approached the crash. I saw one of the truck doors swing open. The small shape of a child dropped out onto the street and desperately tried to run. The driver's side door opened and I watched as Kayla stepped out. She straightened the ranchers hat on her head before fixing me in a frustrated glare.
“Terrible timing, Marsh.” She hissed. “Absolutely fucking terrible.”
“You’re not getting the kid, Kayla.” I said. “It’s over.”

“Oh? It’s over, says the prissy little vampire cop?” She scoffed, “You think I’m going to throw in the towel just because you tell me to? I’ve been an apex fucking predator for longer than you’ve been alive, vampire! It’s in my blood! My very nature! There’s no changing it. I am what I am, and what I am sweetheart… Is fucking hungry!

She took a step towards me, but I wasn’t going to let her close the distance this time. I pulled the trigger. The bullet struck her in the shoulder but it didn’t stop her. She threw herself at me and not a single bullet I fired was enough to slow her down. Then from the corner of my eye I saw movement. Something grabbed her and yanked her to the side, forcing her to the ground. In the streetlights, I saw Shelby standing over Kayla, keeping her pinned.
“Sorry, cowgirl. But the bullshit stops now!"

She snarled before breaking her nose. Her hands closed around Kayla’s throat, ready to choke the life out of her and I put a hand on Shelby’s shoulder. I kept my gun trained Kayla.
“Don’t!” I warned her.
“Why? You know she deserves it. We should stuff her gills… Drown her like she drowned Kate…”
“Not right here, Shelby.”
She opened her mouth to protest before she saw exactly what I meant.

The gunshots and commotion hadn’t gone unnoticed. People had come out of their houses. Countless eyes were upon us. This wasn’t the place to put a mad dog down, even if she had it coming. I saw Shelby’s grip on Kayla’s neck loosen. I kept my gun trained on her head, but she was out cold. She’d stay that way until the distant police sirens made it to us.

Detective Davis was lucky, as was May Swanson. Both came out of that night alive. I suppose Kayla was lucky that she did too… It wasn’t easy to keep Shelby from finishing the job behind closed doors, but I managed to convince her to settle for detention. It was a small comfort to see Kayla shipped off somewhere where I doubted she’d ever see the light of day again. Personally, I wouldn’t have minded seeing her put down, but I don’t make those rules. All I do is enforce them as best I can.

When Della and I parted ways with Shelby back in Tevam Sound the next day, I honestly was hoping I’d see her again and maybe I will. Only under better circumstances. Maybe next time, I can see what kind of life she’s carved out for herself. Maybe someday I can have one of my own.
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2020.11.20 12:09 DaDerpyDude Bullets changed their name due to the assasination of Israeli prime minister Yitzhak Rabin

Guess it's destiny for Deni to have been chosen
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/retropolis/wp/2018/04/14/my-friend-was-shot-how-an-assassins-bullets-in-israel-changed-an-nba-teams-name-in-d-c/
The crowd was still singing as Israeli Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin walked offstage at a Tel Aviv peace rally. His motorcade was parked around the corner, through a throng of supporters waving flags bearing the Star of David, hailing the first progress in Israeli-Palestinian peace in a generation.
The songs continued. Rabin shook supporters’ hands. Then three shots rang out from the gun of a Jewish ultranationalist. Two bullets struck Rabin in the arm and back. He died in surgery later that night.
Within hours of the attack, news reached Abe Pollin, a Washington developer, owner of Washington’s National Basketball Association and National Hockey League teams, and Rabin’s close friend.
Not even a week after the prime minister’s death on Nov. 4, 1995, and four days after his funeral, Pollin declared his basketball team would no longer bear the name “Bullets,” the moniker the team had had for 32 years. Washington had endured a rash of drug- and gang-fueled gun violence in the early 1990s that made it one of the most deadly cities in the country. Now, to Pollin, the shooting epidemic looked worldwide.
“My friend was shot in the back by bullets,” he said, announcing his decision. “The name ‘Bullets’ is no longer appropriate for a sports team.”
The team he renamed the Wizards is now owned by Ted Leonsis and faces the Toronto Raptors in the first round of the NBA playoffs.
As the country grapples with mass shootings at schools and churches and country music concerts, businesses of all stripes — retailers such as Dick’s Sporting Goods, airlines such as Delta, car rental agencies such as Enterprise — continue to navigate what guns mean to their brand.
For Pollin, who died in 2009, the answer was clear. He purchased the Bullets in 1964 after he and his wife, Irene, endured a year of personal tragedy. Their daughter, Linda, died at age 16 after surgery to correct a congenital heart defect.
Three months later, Irene’s father died of a heart attack the day before his grandson’s bar mitzvah. Irene’s sister was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia and had to be hospitalized. Her mother died of a heart attack eight months after her father.
To cope, Abe Pollin bought the Baltimore Bullets, whose motto, “faster than a speeding bullet,” mirrored the team’s style of play. He moved them to Washington nine years later.
“The team was a distraction,” Irene Pollin said in a 2016 Washington Post profile. “It was a great distraction.”
By the 1990s, the Bullets were among the NBA’s most stable franchises, albeit one of the least successful. Washington had gone eight years without a winning season leading up to 1995.
Before Rabin’s assassination, front-office executives said the team would probably get a new logo and uniforms before moving into the new arena, a ploy to goose lagging merchandise sales.
But even by May 1995, at the end of a season in which the Bullets lost 61 of 82 games, Pollin mused the team might get a new nickname over the summer, too.
“We haven’t made a final decision,” he told The Post’s Richard Justice. “In the old days, our motto was ‘Faster than a speeding Bullet.’ That’s how we were envisioned in Baltimore. Today the connotation is a little different. It’s connected with so many horrible things that people do with guns and bullets. I don’t know. We’re considering it. We’ll make a decision this summer.”
Not everyone bought the sentiment behind the proposal.
“Most people wouldn’t be caught dead — excuse the expression — in Bullets paraphernalia,” wrote Washington Times columnist Tom Knott.
“Personally, I think the association between the name of the local basketball team and horrible things that people do with guns is a reach. Me? I’d keep the name Bullets. But I can understand Pollin’s growing uneasiness,” Post columnist Michael Wilbon wrote. “And if there’s ever a time to change it, now would be that time, what with Chris Webber and Juwan Howard aboard and new uniforms and a new downtown arena in the works.”
But Pollin hadn’t decided, or at least hadn’t announced, plans for a name change before Rabin was shot dead. He flew to Jerusalem for the funeral, along with dozens of heads of state.
President Bill Clinton delivered the eulogy. “Shalom chaver” — in English, “Goodbye friend” — Clinton said to Rabin.
Investigators recovered lyrics to the song “Shir LaShalom” or “Song for Peace,” which the crowd at the rally sang as Rabin left the stage, in the prime minister’s pocket stained with his blood.
“Don’t say the day will come/ Bring the day about,” the final verse begins, translated from Hebrew to English. “And in all the city squares/ Cheer for peace!”
Pollin returned to Washington and almost immediately declared the team would drop the “Bullets” nickname.
“If I save one life, make a change in one life,” he said, “it’ll be worth it.”
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2020.10.14 05:26 topsh077a Someone help me figure out this song please.

Song from the 2000's, from Toronto, it's a girl singing and it's kind of a Toronto mainstream drum n' bass track. The video was shot at system sound bar. Please.
submitted by topsh077a to askTO [link] [comments]


2020.09.20 03:48 CallMeEpiphany 28 [M4F] [Pic] Toronto, Canada - The secret of life is tea-drinking, tea-totalling, and tree-hugging

Who

I run a tech startup, but detest technology. I don't drink, but occasionally use psychedelics for spiritual growth. I am plant-based. Mindfulness and yoga are a big part of my life.
I write poetry. It is, in fact, how I see the world. On a quiet day I can hear life sing to itself. You can often find me standing by the sidewalk, enthralled by a tree, while my fellow pedestrians wonder if a cat is stuck up there. Oh, I love cats. My favorite sound in the world is the crack of thunder, and I play the violin.
I like to spend days solo-hiking across remote lands, cycling across countries, and climbing steep rocks. I have travelled a fair bit. I want to see all that our beautiful planet has to offer. I am often quiet but I yearn to be speechless ( ◕ _ ◕)

What

I can’t get intimate with someone without a connection. Let’s start there?
My interests include bondage, massage, tantra (no ritual sacrifice, except on full moons), breath play, being honest, and talking until-omg-its-3am.
I am non-monogamous.

Me

I am 28, 5’11”, fit, and have my own place downtown Toronto.
This is me https://imgur.com/V1LRouy

You

Age no bar - legal please. Open to all races, bodies, and nationalities. Will respond to all messages. Let’s talk shit about social media, capitalism and Eric Cartman.
Maybe this is you? https://imgur.com/Ja1wZ2U
submitted by CallMeEpiphany to polyamoryR4R [link] [comments]


2020.09.05 07:57 Waifer2016 Gym Teacher sends toddler to the hospital- chaos ensues.

This story takes place in the deep dark years of the early 70's. Neil Diamond was singing about his Sweet Caroline, Hippies were congregating in San Francisco, and I was 4 yrs old.
When I was a tiny wee person, my family lived in Toronto and the city school system started kids in Pre-Kindergarten as young as 3 yrs old. Me, being the right age, my parents dutifully enrolled me in school and I happily toddled off each morning holding the hands of my older brothers. The school year progressed and I loved going every day. Hey crafts, naps, snacks - whats not to like!
Fast forward to June and our family moved to a new province where kids didnt start school until they were 5 (or going to be 5 before October 1st) This presented a bit of a conundrum for my parents. I had already been in school for a year , the town we moved to had no preschools or day schools at the time, so the school system decided to make an exception and allow me to attend the local Elementary in their kindergarten classroom. (boring stuff out of the way now haha
I was excited about going to school on a big yellow school bus, made friends quickly and settled into the classroom like the seasoned 4 yr old pro i was. Everything was going great ..until my very first gym class.
Pre-K classes in Toronto did not attend the school gym. Instead they played games in their own classrooms or on the playground. I had never before been to a regular school gym - nor seen any of the equipment. I happily lined up with the other short nose pickers, and skipped down the hall in my Buster Browns and through the doors of the gymnasium ..to behold (DUN DUN DUN) the parallel bars . They were tall. They were shiny. They kind of looked like weird monkey bars. I , being 4, went charging over , jumped up and started swinging on the lowest bar.
Now I am going to pause here and mention the teacher was a few bricks shy of a load. What she lacked in intelligence she more than made up in inventive ways to lie her way out of a situation and she had made 2 crucial mistakes with our class of tiny peeps. The bars had no safety mats under them and they wern't supposed to be there - at all - as they were deemed too dangerous for the smallest kids.
So there I am, the smallest of the smalls, the little one with vision problems and coordination issues who was prone to walk into walls.. running over and jumping up on these bars. I promptly fell off. Total face plant into the solid steel support beams on the bottom. The pain - and the blood- were immediate and intense. I was screaming, about 20 other littles were screaming , the teacher (apparently ) was screaming. Fortunately for me (or maybe not so much?) I passed out and woke up on a bed in the hospital with a doctor trying to stitch my chin back together.
The teacher , idiot that she was, stood beside my bed howling how it was all my fault and I was a very bad little girl and my Daddy was going to beat me when I got home because I was such a very very bad little girl! (This is what i gleaned from family lore as I don't remember much of it myself lol) Mid howl , my parents walked in to behold me laying on a bed covered in blood, and a strange adult screaming like a deranged banshee! It was a this point I passed out again.
Several days later, I was back in school with my tiny face swathed in bandages, sitting beside my best buddy when the principal came into our room and told us that Ms. (blah) would no longer be our gym teacher and was gone forever from our school. It was several years later that my older siblings explained that she had been fired immediately.
So thats my tale of how a 3ft tall 4 yr old managed to get her gym teacher fired!
TL:DR - Gym teacher was an idiot, i fell down, broke my face, she was fired
submitted by Waifer2016 to MrReddit [link] [comments]


2020.09.04 01:27 TeeEm_27 Then, out of nowhere, we spot something flying towards the ship...

My parents always loved holidays. We’d go on up to 4 a year. We’d go from state to state multiple times a year, and head to Toronto for the weekend a few times a year also. They loved travelling to Europe as well, and they picked up a great liking for Ireland for some reason. My younger sister, Clare, who’s 14, doesn’t like travelling so much, and neither do I.
My names Jake. I’m 16, and, as I just said, I hate travelling. I told my parents once after they booked a holiday to the Canary Islands that I’d only happily come on a holiday if it was a cruise. My sister agreed, but both my parents seemed to disagree. They didn’t like boats at all. After begging and begging, Clare and I finally convinced our parents to take us on a cruise from LA to Honolulu. Out of everywhere we’ve ever been, we’ve never been to Hawaii, so I was really looking forward to it.
We set out for the 8 hour journey from our home to LA, where we’d stay the night in a fancy uptown hotel. Needless to say, my parents had quite a high income, which I assume you already guessed seeing as I did mention we go on holidays up to 4 times a year. However, this was new, because this was our 5th. It’s only June.
The hotel was... amazing. Above the doorway was 5 golden stars, which Clare immediately pointed out by saying “holy shit this is a 5 star hotel”. My parents looked at her and laughed. I don’t get why it was so funny, but oh well. Just typical boomer humour. The lobby had a tall roof with 4 chandeliers placed precariously upon it. A red velvet carpet led all the way from the revolving door to the sleek marble counter, where we got our room number and key. Even the elevator was impressive, with full spread mirrors on every side and a marble floor. There was a ton of marble in this building.
There were two joined rooms that we had. One for the boys, and one for the girls. They had joining balconies as well, so obviously, they were constructed for families like ours. We each had our own king sized beds with a full sized chocolate bar awaiting us on our pillows. Wow. The bathroom was, well, marble. To dumb it down, lots of marble. Marble everywhere.
During the night was great, because thanks to our 16th story view, we could see all the city lights below us, and it made me realise, ‘maybe holidays aren’t that bad after all’. I hop into bed around 12:00am, and drift off quickly to the cool breeze coming in the window.
I was awoken at 8:00am in the morning by my dad telling me we need to get breakfast now or we’ll miss the cruise. I quickly dress myself and follow my family down to the restaurant for breakfast, which was delicious. They had breakfasts from all over the world, yet everyone went for an Irish breakfast. Beans, toast, sausages, rashers (what they call bacon in Ireland), eggs, and black and white pudding. When I read pudding off the menu, I thought, ‘what!? Pudding for breakfast??” But turns out pudding was something the Irish lived for breakfast which was made with the blood of farm animals. Surprisingly, it tasted amazing, despite sounding disgusting.
At noon, we made our way across LA to catch the ferry. We got there just in time and we were shown to our rooms. Similar to the hotel, they were joined rooms with a joining balcony. We were on the 4th floor, a.k.a the top floor that had rooms, so pulling away from the docks we could see all down Longbeach and up towards Compton. I immediately started singing ‘Straight Outta Compton’ by N.W.A in my head when I recognised where it was.
After an hour, we were out of sight of land and en route to Hawaii. The cruise we booked took many detours rather than a straight line to give the passengers a full 5 day cruise experience.
The cruise went relatively smoothly until the night of our 3rd day aboard. The ship came to an abrupt halt, which woke me up out of a deep sleep, the same with the rest of my family. We stepped out into the corridor to see if anything was wrong, only to hear “we ask all passengers to return to their cabins immediately and stay indoors” over a loudspeaker. We all adhere to the instructions and stay indoors, looking out the window to see if we could see anything that might’ve made us stop. Then, out of nowhere, we spot something flying towards the ship. “Look, another one” said my mum, and sure enough, there were now two strange shadows making their way towards the ship. Searchlights shot out and hit them to show exactly what they were.
They were midnight black, human like creatures with black feathery wings growing out of their back. “What the fuck is that” I said. “I do not know” came an honest answer from my dad. Clare looked petrified and hid in a corner. My mum went to comfort her whilst my dad and I continued to watch the creatures slowly moving towards the ship, with the search lights following them. As they got closer, we were able to make out their face. They had 4 white eyes and... and... well... that was it. They had nothing else.
They stopped moving in mid air for about 20 minutes. Every 5 minutes, we were updated over the loud speaker, saying stuff like ‘please remain calm and stay indoors’. After a while, they started backing up, and we heard shouting from the top deck. Then all hell broke loose. Out of the shadows, an army of the creatures attacked the ship, and multiple gunshots were heard from the above deck. Each bullet we heard managed to take one out, but they kept coming. One after another, until the shouting above turned to agonised screaming and then silence.
It was silent for too long. Everything was black. Nobody moved since the attack. We just watched the blackness of the night in front of us. Suddenly, one of the creatures leaped out of nowhere and latched onto the outside window frame. I shrieked and jumped back in terror. My dad and Clare ran and hid in the bathroom while my mum stood there, rooted to the spot with fear. Somehow the thing opened a mouth out of nowhere and tried to bite us through the glass. It had black teeth sharper than cooking knives followed by a thick black drool dripping from it’s gums.
It was clawing and scratching at the window with it’s razor sharp claws for what felt like hours before someone dressed in a full military suit burst through the cabin door and shot the things through the window with his rifle. “Follow me, I’ll get you all to safety” he told us. There was another man behind him, geared up in an identical fashion. We did as we were told and followed them down the hallway with one in front of us and another behind. We encountered one creature tearing a room service trolley to shreds, but the man in front quickly shot it before it noticed us.
We were taken to the top deck and into the dining hall, a large room that could probably fit every single passenger. There were guards guarding the perimeter of it with rifles, and every so often we would hear a gunshot from one as they shot dead another creature. “They won’t stop coming” I said, looking out the window. “That’s what she said” my dad murmured, which lightened our mood a small bit. We managed to fall asleep for a while on the carpeted floor as many other people did also, before waking up the following morning in broad daylight, and only then we could see the real problem. A vicious black cloud of these creatures was hovering above the ship. We knew we weren’t getting out of there anytime soon.
We all took our guesses of why we couldn’t just move away from them, only to be told by a crew member passing by that they tried that last night, but they just followed us, and they didn’t want to bring them to mainland.
We all stayed in the hall, eating small stuff, such as garlic bread and water that could be prepared easily. Wasn’t a meal, but it was something. I guessed they were rationing food incase we ran out, because the portions were just about enough to fill a stomach. There were only two toilets in the hall, so it was a huge hassle waiting in line for half an hour to go to the toilet.
Fast forward a few hours, and we’re all sitting around when the entire ship shakes violently. Screams echo around us as, almost as if in slow motion, the cloud swoops down, and flips the ship on it side. Glass smashed all around us, as I’m plummeted into freezing cold water. I come up for breath to see people scattered everywhere. Some were swimming safely, like me, and others weren’t. I looked around looking for family, and only saw Clare. Well, barely saw her. She was thrashing around and then it hit me.
Clare can’t swim.
I rush over to her, swimming faster then I ever could, and having to manoeuvre around many thrashing bodies. Needless to say I was kicked a few times. As I got to her, I grabbed her and yelled over the sounds of screams, “use me to stay afloat”. She hung onto me as I told her to only to find her hugging me. My sister hates me most of the time, but I guess now it didn’t matter. I told her not to let go, to which she replied “you little bitch why would I let go if I can’t fucking swim”. That’s the Clare I’m used t-
My thoughts were ended thanks to a piercing pain in my side. I looked up to see a creature had swooped down and grabbed me an Clare with it’s claws. It flew up into the cloud as we both screamed in agony before it kept flying higher and higher and further away from the ship, which was now fully sunk under water. We flew for well over an hour with it’s claws piercing into my side. The only thing I remember from the flight is Clare groaning “make it stop. Please...” before letting out a slight whimper.
Then it dropped us. We were plummeting towards the water at insane speeds before we both hit it with a splash. As we surfaced, we saw the thing flying further away. It obviously hasn’t noticed it dropped us. Dumbass. We cling to each other in the freezing water for hours until the sun started to set. “Jake, are we going to die?” Clare asked me. There was silence for a while before I gave her an honest answer by telling her, “Clare, I think we are going to die”.
We floated there crying on each other’s shoulder until the sun went down and we couldn’t see anything. We stayed there crying until I felt something on my back. I felt around for what it was to find what appeared to be a piece of driftwood. Hallelujah. We cling onto it for hours on end until finally, the sun started to rise. We see an island in the distance. I told myself that I was hallucinating. The island had tall mountains lined with forests and white beaches below it. On the beach, however...
I saw people. Lots of people.
At first sight I yelled “HAWAII”, which made Clare look, only to say, “where”. I was hallucinating. There was no island. I blinked a few times, and surely enough... nothing. I started crying again. I cried harder when I realised, ‘where were my parents?’ Would I ever see them again. Were they..... dead? I told myself not to believe that, but negative thoughts kept coming back. I started visualising them drowning, gasping for air below the surface of the water. I screamed. It wasn’t in pain, wasn’t agony or sorrow. I yelled in distress. Clare told me to calm down, but I was losing my mind. Thoughts raced through my mind, were my parents dead? Would I ever see my friends again? What about that girl who I had a crush on? Is this the end? Is this is for old Jake? Will I die on a piece of driftwood in the middle of god knows where? Could I-
Everything went black...
...
...
...
...
...
...
..flap
...flap..
.flap...
I regained consciousness to the sound of flapping. It sounded like wings. The creature had me again. The pain was back. But... where was Clare. The creature didn’t pick her up. It was just me. I blacked out again.
...
...
...
...
...
Voices
I hear voices
They sound worried
Scared
Gunshots
There’s gunshots too
And the wings again
Shrieking
There’s shrieks too
There’s everything
Water lapping
Trees moving in the wind
Everything is still black
I can’t see anything
I feel sane below me
Land!
...
I regain full consciousness to see many middle aged men looking down at me, worried. They’re holding bandages. They’re helping me. I’m saved. To my left, I see many other men with guns, shooting at another cloud of the creatures. Or maybe it’s the same one. Straight after I sit up, I’m handed a gun. I stand up and start shooting at the cloud. I’ve never used a gun before, yet here I am, using one to defend my life and many others. The cloud moves away from the island and everyone rushes about. Someone takes me by the hand and leads me to a speedboat. It was just him and I in the boat when we quickly set off with another one behind us. The other one had more people assisting a young girl lying down. Clare! She was alive!
I start to see land in the distance only to realise a while later it is LA. I’m back where I began. Clare’s boat is still following behind us. She’s sitting up, and as we make eye contact I wave to her. I’ve never seen her look happier to see me. I’m focusing entirely on her and don’t realise what’s behind her. The cloud.
And we’re heading to shore. Everyone is LA is going to die. But... wait... all the costal roads have... military. Thousands of them. All with rifles and RPGs aiming directly at the cloud. As we get closer, the man tells me “get down”. Which I do, only to see rockets and bullets fly above my head. The cloud rapidly decreases in size, but as we reach shore, there’s still many more left. It’s disaster. Screams everywhere. I thought I heard enough screams for one trip. We hit shore and the man grabs my hand and we start running into the city.
He’s running faster than I could possibly keep up. I stumble, and trip multiple times, before tripping flat of my face and-
I sat up quickly in my bed. Sweating like hell. I look over to my right. My dad’s sound asleep. I get up and check in the girls room to see my mum and Clare both asleep. I check out the window. The sun is still rising, and the water is moving quickly below me. I open the window a crack to feel the cool sea breeze. Everything seemed normal. I slowly open the door to see the room service trolley sitting in one piece outside the door. Impossible. I saw it ripped to shreds by the creature. What on earth was happening?
The loudspeaker came on. What this time, another warning telling us to stay indoors? No.
“We will be approaching Honolulu in approximately 1 hour and 30 minutes”
I took me a while to realise what just happened. I’ve just been traumatised by my own dream. How did I feel pain and cold though? I checked my side to see it wasn’t sore, and there was no mark. I was also exceptionally warm, presuming I was just in freezing col water a while ago. Or, at least so I thought. It was all my imagination. I dreamed the whole thing.
I turn around to see my dad sitting up in his bed. I smile and run over to hug him. “What’s this for!?” He asked. “I had a shitty dream” I replied, “you... well... let’s just say if it was real, you wouldn’t be here right now”. He looked at me in surprise. “I thought you were beyond the age where you dreams scared you”. I nodded and said “that’s what I thought, but there was something about this dream that was so realistic”. My dad told me to explain every event of my dream.
“Meanwhile, the black beast smirked from underneath my bed, knowing that it had successfully tricked me into thinking none of it was real” said my dad after I finished. I was so petrified I actually checked under the bed. We went up to the top deck to look at Hawaii in the distance, which strangely looked exactly like the island from my dream.
We arrived in Honolulu at 7:50am and checked into our hotel at 8:30am. My parents agreed to cancel the cruise back home and just take a plane instead, as the cruise must’ve got to my head somehow. Honolulu was great. I loved every bit of it, but coming home was better. Knowing that my mind somehow came up with that whole story AND remembered every bit of it, made me want to turn it into a story. So here I am. Sitting in front of my keyboard writing this for you.
Hi. My name is Jake, and today is my 17th birthday. From my home in a small town in Montana, I’ve been getting crazy dreams for the past year. The doctor said it’s nothing to worry about, but I quite like having weird af dreams. It gives me better story ideas. This is my first one, but I have many other dreams I can recall, and I’ll do my best to post the most interesting ones!
The End
submitted by TeeEm_27 to stories [link] [comments]


2020.08.28 08:11 ToliB List of Canadian References in CDR S1E9

Oh snow she betta don't, here we are, the penultimate episode. The Snow Ball, the girls are challenged to come up with 3 looks inspired by a common theme. So, once more with feeling In the tradition of Last Week's Episode lets go through the list of Canadian cultural refrences. Also, did you know it snows in Canada?
Celebrities Come To Call:
Sabrina Jalees: Stand-up Comedienne, Actress, Writer, Columnist. I recommend reading her article My Family Broke Up With Me.
Michelle Visage: Corner Stone and key of the judging panel of DRUSA, known for her dangerous eyebrows, Music Career, and Guest Hosting on moderately amusing web series.
Rumail:
"The More You Snow, The More You Blow" putting aside that 'Snow-blowing' is a fun lil euphemism the snow blower was invented in Saint-Léonard-de-Port-Maurice Quebec by Arthur Sicard in 1925.
Mini-Challenge:
Boucherville: Founded by Pierre Boucher in 1667, in 1843 a fire raged that destroyed most of the village, however it has since rebounded into a bustling resort town on the St.Lawrence River, and is currently an independent city within the greater urban agglomeration of Longueuil.
O Canada: The national anthem, the song is taught in 3 versions, one that is pure English, one that's pure French, and one that is an amalgam of the two versions. it wasn't officially our anthem until July 1st, 1980. There are edits to the lyrics being debated such as substituting "Our home ON native land" Removing God from the lyrics, and changing "sons" to be more gender inclusive. Most children in Canada are required to stand(if able) and sing it as part of their school morning routines in Manitoba, New Brunswick, Nova Scotia, Ontario and Prince Edward Island.
Main Challenge Prep:
Apres-Ski: An after-skiing party to relax, rest those aching haunches, pull the pine needles from your teeth, and enjoy a hot bevvy. Culture Trip has a list of the top-10 spots at the world famous Whistler, BC which is home to one of the worlds largest ski resorts
Tragedy Mirror
Scarlet Bobo makes mention of an abusive step-father, and unfortunately in Canada it's a major problem. Domestic abuse makes up 1/4 of police reported violent crimes and that's just what gets successfully reported.
Vancouver Island, BC The large island off the coast of British Columbia, the city of Vancouver ironically is not found on the island that shares it's namesake. instead the cities of Victoria and Nanaimo call this island home along with several smaller cities. The City of Nanaimo also shares it's name for a fudge variant dessert the Nanaimo Bar
Kitchener, Waterloo, Ont: (now that you're humming Abba) the city has a large Germanic population, and is home to a yearly Oktoberfest,
London, Ont: a former collection of first nations villages, Archeological info shows the area to have been inhabited for the past 10,000 years. it has had a complex growth into the city of modern day.
Runway:
Ajax, Ontario: 16km east of Toronto, on the shore of Lake Ontario, stands the city of Ajax. named for the HMS Ajax a WW2 Royal Navy Cruiser, the town was founded in 1941 when a Shell factory was established to help with the war effort.
u/BEARS_WILL_EAT_YOU climbed out of the grizzly's mouth to add:
Michelle Visage references a "business' women's special" which is a gay themed monthly party in Toronto.
Priyanka's outfit in the Apres-Apres ski is a reference to the iconic Roots Cabin Sock with their solid gray body, white cuff, and distinctive red stripe. they're frequently used to make Sock Monkeys.
"ooh, she went for a polar bear dip" A winter tradition in Canada, where "Only the bold bare the cold"- in the dead of winter, polar bear dippers will strip down to their swimsuits (or sometimes less) and take an icy swim in a semi-frozen lake or river and wear their near hypothermia as a badge of honour. those who survive are often inducted into regional polar bear clubs.
Untucked
you know what's fun? watch the drinks Priyanka holds. up-down-up-down-up-down.
Judging
Brooke tries to make a loon call. it's a bit more successful than Tom Green's of weeks prior.
Air Canada Vacations: Air Canada is the national airline of Canada, this is their version of a travel agency.
Lip Sync:
Closer- Tegan & Sara: from their 2013 album "Heartthrob" this track won the Juno award for Single of the Year. it made it to #13 on the Canadian hot 100, and #1 on the US Dance Club charts. it is certified Double Platinum in Canada, and Gold in the US. it was also used in the Freeform pilot for Young and Hungry, the end credits of Bojack Horseman, Season 12 of Degrassi, and as the theme for an AT&T commercial.
which brings us to the end of another week. pour yourself an Apres-Episode beverage, watch the snow not fall (it's August) and once again if there's anything I've missed, gotten wrong, or could have explained better let me know, critiques, comments, compliments and corrections are more than welcome.
submitted by ToliB to DragRace_Canada [link] [comments]


2020.08.14 03:28 OldmanFlapcakes Ys Brazyy - Underrated Rapper Profile

Ys Brazyy - Underrated Rapper Profile
I will be making a few of these profiles, that will focus on underrated rappers that have a lot of talent. I'm seeing a lot of people make posts about pollies, and that's fine and all but we gotta balance it out with wholesomeness too, so that's why I'll make this a series

ysbrazyy instagram
Ys Brazyy is a rapper from the south side of Jane & Finch. He is from there but he's a genuinely good guy taking advantage of a music studio program. I don't want ppl thinking about politics just because I mention an area.
He has really good melodies, but at the same time he doesn't sacrifice flow. Some melodious rappers have a slow flow so they have time to sing or inject melody, but Ys Brazyy is able to rap at a good speed while being melodious at the same time.
Ys Brazyy has demonstrated great improvement in his skills from when he first released a song on Soundcloud 3 years ago. Here is the 1st song I can find, where he raps on a Chief Keef style beat. Even in his 1st song he is able to demonstrate he has a nice melody in the verse (0:29), although you can hear that a lil bit of it is from the mixing. The chorus/hook also kinda sucks in it's melody, it's sounds very unoriginal and robotic. I've heard a similar ones on many chief keef style beats.
Now we'll go to a year later. Ys Brazyy is now rapping on beats that compliment his melodic style. Rapping on Chief Keef beats is only a phase that every beginner rapper goes through. He is able to have a good voice and flowing melody throughout the entire song. I'll admit that it's a pretty slow song, not the fastness that I mentioned earlier. We'll get there though. This format is meant to show the evolution of their music. From rapping on Chief Keef style beats & making a few one two songs with Prince Dawn + squad on typical trap type beats that were common on Youtube in those years, to now rapping on beats that were proper for Ys Brazyy.
His songs up to this point were nice but it's not super duper exceptional. Now we'll go to a year later when Ys Brazyy really goes on beast mode.
Let's examine this heat. He is rapping fast with good bars & has a masterful use of melody that corresponds to the energy in that moment of the song. In the beginning of the track (the hook), he has a beautiful high tone because that part of a song is very important, you want the listener to be captivated. He also has very good ad-libs that stretch b4 the end of the hook to build tension. At 0:45 when he finishes the hook and starts the verse, then he raps in a lower tone because tension eventually has to release.
At 2:00, after the hook, verse, and the hook again, he spits the 2nd verse. He has a higher tone than the 1st verse but not as high as the hook, except for certain words at the end of certain bars. He also switches up his flow in this verse too. Ys Brazyy is very good at changing tone and changing flows in this song, and this will define him from now on.
Now lets look at this song he released last month. I believe this track speaks for itself. It is obviously an amazing song.


In Conclusion, Ys Brazyy is a very talented rapper that unfortunately doesn't get many views on his tracks. This is a talented guy that puts emotion in his songs very well, and deserves more attention. I hope that by posting this Rapper Profile we can get more attention to the talent that exists in Toronto. I hope that this post will increase the quality of this sub-reddit and make our sub reddit a better place.
I have ideas for two more Underrated Rapper Profiles if this one gets good activity and upvotes. One of the rappers is from Malvern and the other is from Oshawa. I want you guys to guess who those next two rappers are and I'll tell you if you are right.
submitted by OldmanFlapcakes to Torontology [link] [comments]


2020.08.11 11:44 nikvelimirovic [CRISIS] Ulster Waltz / Ulster Lullaby / My Dear Old Belfast Town

Oh Ireland… the Balkans of Northwestern Europe. Whatever will we do with your sectarianism and religious feuding. These days, things are the same as they ever have been, with the northerners feuding with the southerners – the Protestants with the Catholics.
Two religions, both alike in dignity. In fair Belfast, where we lay our scene. From ancient grudge break to new mutiny, where civil blood makes civil hands unclean.
(the song is sung to the tune of home on the range)
Oh give me a home, where there’s no Pope of Rome…
The Orange Order and the Ulster Unionists spent many a Irish morn hard at work making banners and uniforms for what would soon go down in history as the largest Protestant demonstration in Ireland yet. Belfast, would be their marching ground, and though instructed by the Irish government not to bring weapons and not to enter Catholic areas, only time would tell if these brave unionists would pay any heed to the scoundrel word of a Papist…
Where there’s nothing but Protestants stay…
Ulster Unionists, ever knowing the danger of letting a Catholic get the upper hand on ya, have opted to conceal clubs, knives, brass knuckles, rolling pins, socks with stones, and other street-fighting weapons. They hide these in overcoats and in their pantaloons, some even under their caps, ready for a right proper brawl if its to break out. On the other hand, the much more organized Orange Order is not going to stand for any sort of skullduggery from the Fenians. They stitch holsters into their jackets, hide rifles down their pantlegs, and keep grenades in their pockets. If things are going ta be bloody, they’ll make them bleed.
Where seldom is heard a discouraging word, And flute bands play The Sash every day
The march began bright and cheerful, with good Ulster songs being sung for the good Ulster boys, and a relatively disorganized procession began to pass through the Protestant neighborhoods to cheers and poppers. The procession quickly assumed a military formation as the Orange Order’s disciplined march brought everyone in step with the beating of their drums. The march passed a Protestant Church and all the brave men crossed themselves and received the priest’s blessing before they continued on their way. Police watched nervously and were jeered and harassed by the crowd passing through the streets.
No, no Pope of Rome, No chapels to sadden my eyes, No nuns and no priests, No Rosary beads, and every day is the 12th of July!
And then, the Orange Order made the decision, and the Ulster Unionists were forced to follow. The Taig bastards in Dublin would not bar them from marching in their own city. No no no. The march continued across the river from Island Ward and rather than turning north into Duncairn like they had informed the police, they continued on into Falls – a staunchly Catholic area. The police that had been escorting them began to panic, and one officer Timmy McNeil hopped on a bicycle to rush to a depot where he could radio the army and inform them of the change in plans.
Up a wee narrow close, Just by Brigton Cross, Aye it's there the place we call home
The marchers increased the volume of their singing, will the crowd that followed the organized bannermen began hurling insults at the Catholics, most of whom had holed up in their flats and stores. Unfortunately, Timmy McNeil failed to make it to the police station on time to warn the army of the approaching horde of Proddies as he was accosted by a few thuggish unionists that shoved him around asking “where ya runnin’ laddie?” This meant that a confrontation was bound to happen, as the half infantry division stationed in Beechmount honestly expected the unionists to stick to the Protestant areas.
On the twelth there we join, to remember The Boyne, And to pray let's have no Pope of Rome
By now the march has reached Beechmount. The half division, nervous about being sent to potentially fight protestants, is not in ship shape, with many of the men despondent and more distracted by how boring the catholic quarters are with everyone hiding inside. However, they hear the singing of the Unionists long before they see their orange banners. Rushing to form a bayonet line, the well-trained infantrymen try to prepare for a crowd that will surely outnumber them. The rumble of the bootsteps, march down the street and the fluttering of the banners crosses around a corner. The commander of the division calls out for the march to halt as soon as he sees them in the street, some 100m away. The Unionists don’t stop but rather increase their march’s volume, drumming, and marching, quickly starting to close the gap. At 75m the commander again calls for a halt, but the unionists pay it no heed. At 50m he calls for a halt again. Nothing. At 40m he calls again and has instructed his men to ready. Nope. At 30m, he calls “halt” again, and instructs his men to aim. The march is undaunted. At 20m, he announces “halt at once or we will open fire!”
No, no Pope of Rome, No chapels to sadden my eyes, No nuns and no priests, No Rosary beads, and every day is the 12th of July!
No one knows who fired the first shot. What is known is that the Unionists did not stop when ordered to the final time. Smoke filled the air on that street in Beechmount, though what the commander dreaded would be a massacre turned into something much, much worse. Not only had the unionists broken the order of not marching in Catholic areas, they had also brought weapons. The Orange Order pulled out their handguns and fired back at the soldiers and police, while the Unionists and their supporters entered into a melee with their streetfighting weapons. Brave Catholics came outside to fight the Protestants, but most hid indoors. One member of the Orange Order pulled a portion of a barrel out of his pantleg and ran to three of his fellow countrymen who all had weapons parts and assembled a light machine gun behind a fallen cart. Other Orange Order men lobbed grenades both at the soldiers and into nearby homes. It was grueling and it was bloody and neither side wanted it to go on, and before long both withdrew. However at the end of the day, the Battle of Beechmount (or the Beechmount Massacre if you’re a Unionist) left 37 Irish soldiers dead on the street, and 153 Protestants, many of whom were not members of the well-armed Orange Order. In addition to this, 22 Irish catholic civilians were killed, only 7 of whom participated in the fighting directly. It is truly a dark day for Belfast and, indeed, for Ireland… One of the lasting impacts of the Beechmount Massacre is that the Ulster Unionist Party has lost nearly all credibility, as it is propagandized that it led the march into a massacre unarmed and it was only by the grace of the Orange Order that more sons of Belfast weren’t killed. UUP membership has tanked, while the Ulster National Vanguard has seen a massive increase in membership, and the Orange Order has reported an increase in interest in all chapters in the world, including Canada.

Canada

The Canadian government’s involvement with the Irish government is seen as disgusting, especially after the Beechmount Massacre. Orange Order lodges in Canada have mobilized marches in Ontario, Quebec, and Toronto which have gone relatively unmolested. Many of the Tories have lobbied the government punish Ireland for slaughtering the protestants, while large protests against Canadian involvement with the Irish government in Dublin have been held by Irish Canadians, nearly 2/3 of whom are Protestant themselves.
A new political party that is affiliated with the Tories, the Irish Protestant League, has formed and already documented roughly 135,000 members, a sizeable political pressure on the Canadian government that is likely to grow with time.

Union of Britain

However the Protestants couldn’t keep their lot to protesting in Ireland and the land of their deposed King. Clandestinely, operations were underway in the British Isles proper. The Orange Order had been banned by the Syndicalist bastards, and many had gone underground, forming cells in cities across the country and shifting away from being simply a unionist movement and embracing their anti-syndicalism. Called the Irish Monarchist Army, a shadowy group of no one knows quite how many individuals with no one knows quite how many arms began a campaign of terror in various places in Great Britain against the syndicalist menace.
The first attack was on Trafalgar Square, where a statue of Philip Snowden had been put up a few years prior. With an explosive charge that could not be traced back to the IMA, knowledge of the IMA’s involvement only being revealed when they claimed responsibility, the statue was destroyed, and four people were injured in the blast. Far more deadly was the bombing of a trade union hall in Glasgow which killed 14 workers and a national union representative. Police have no leads yet on who the IMA is, where they get their money, where they’re located, or anything of that sort. All roads truly are cold…
submitted by nikvelimirovic to WeltkriegPowers [link] [comments]


2020.07.31 06:09 Taxi_Dancer Is That You, Daddy? Part 1 (Sequel to The Parchment)

Is that you, Daddy?
The year 2042:
A fat, balding man wearing a dingy olive drab military uniform looked across the desk from where he was seated, down towards a timid looking light-skinned little girl sitting across from him on a wooden stool, her long, dark brown, hair pulled back into a pony tail and held behind her head by a simple rubber band. Her hands rested nervously in her lap, and she pulled at her dirty white gown, trying to conceal her excitement. A thick Plexiglas partition mounting a dual speaker system separated the military man and the little girl. The room in which the fat Army senior lieutenant sat was brightly lit with unfiltered bulbs which hung down from wires in the ceiling; the room in which the timid looking child sat, not so much. Behind the little girl, dozens of other children sat pensively in the darkened room on cheap, barely padded chairs. Several uniformed soldiers stood around the walls surrounding the children, each one holding an electrical compliance baton. Occasionally, one of the guards would charge their baton, which came to life with an electrical ‘crack’ when any of the children showed signs of getting too restless.
“Alexia 09129,” said the fat senior lieutenant in a bored, dismissive tone. “You have three minutes after the phone rings to talk.”
Alexia nodded excitedly up at the fat senior lieutenant, glancing nervously at the phone receiver mounted on the wall under the Plexiglas partition, a light above it blinking red. All of a sudden, the light turned green and the phone hummed with a soft, “Beep.”
Alexia quickly had the phone in her hand before it rang a second time. Every month, she waited anxiously for these three minutes. Barely hiding her excitement, Alexia squealed, “Daddy?”
“Remember,” interrupted the fat senior lieutenant. His voice sounded static over the intercom system. “If I hear any unauthorized discussion about our current operations or criticism of the government, I will terminate this call immediately. Is that understood, Sergeant 47313? Over.”
There was a slight pause, then a voice on the other end of the phone crackled, “That is understood by Sergeant 47313, Commissar Senior Lieutenant.” The voice sounded weary, and was combined with the sound of static and the humming of heavy equipment in the background. “Over.”
“You have permission to speak with Alexia 09129, Sergeant 47313,” said the Commissar. “Over.”
“Thank you, Commissar Senior Lieutenant,” said the voice on the other end of the phone. “Hello, Alexia, how are you? Over.” Because of the static, the voice sounded unnatural in tone, almost robotic.
Nevertheless, Alexia was thrilled to hear her father’s voice, “I’m fine, daddy! I missed you so much! How are you? Are you okay?” There was a long pause, before Alexia remembered. “Ummmm… over.”
As a rule, in order to keep communications as effective and efficient as possible (and to make recording and identifying the speakers easier for the government commissars) the speaker had to end each statement with the word ‘over’ to let the listener know that the speaker had completed his comment. This rule was very strictly enforced and Alexia still kicked herself in the head for forgetting this rule two months ago. She had forgotten to say ‘over’ and there was a 45 second pause in her allotted three minute phone time when she was speaking with her mother. As it turned out, that would be the last time Alexia had spoken with her mother and none of the warphanage’s facility administrators were inclined to tell Alexia why her mother had stopped calling. The only thing that Alexia’s teachers told her was that her mother was part of the glorious offensive which was liberating the nations to the south that were threatening the country.
“I’m fine,” replied the tired voice on the other end after a few seconds. It irritated Alexia that so much of her precious monthly three minute phone call was wasted on the time delay. “How have you been, Alexia? How is the warphanage treating you? Over.”
After the glorious insurgent revolution toppled the corrupt government of the Old American Republic, the new rulership of the United Socialist States of America generously created these facilities, called “warphanages”, to oversee and educate the children of the lower class citizens who had been conscripted to defend the revolutionary freedoms of this new Socialist nation. Naturally, the lower class parents who had been conscripted into the military had to surrender over half of their monthly pay to the government, as the government’s generosity wasn’t cheap, and making the United Socialist States of America pay to care for the children of the lower class wasn’t fair. To make the United Socialist States of America a great nation required sacrifice, as the Old American Republic was never great.
“I’m fine, Daddy,” said Alexia, her heart pounding. For three precious minutes every month, the pain of her loneliness and heartache would vanish. Could a little girl’s heart live on just three minutes of love every month? She hoped and wished that these three minutes could last forever. “On my birthday, the cafeteria even gave me an extra scoop of noodle soup, and they even gave me a little extra corn bread and grape drink! And my friend Miya made me a friendship bracelet of colorful yarn that she had saved and collected from art class. Over.”
“That’s right!” said the voice on the other end, now sounding both tired and sad. “This month is your birthday! I’m sorry that I forgot. How old are you, Alexia? Over.”
Alexia paused, frowning. “Daddy forgot my birthday,” she thought. “Mommy said she would send me something special for my birthday, but Daddy forgot.”
“I’m six, Daddy,” she said. “Over.”
“Oh,” said the voice on the other end. “I…I see. The last time I saw you, you couldn’t even walk. Over.”
“How are things in… in… Canada, Daddy?” said Alexia. “Over.”
The Commissar’s eyes narrowed, as he waited to hear how Sergeant 47313 would respond. One wrong word, one wrong thought, one wrong example of improper motivation on the part of Sergeant 47313 may result in a demotion in rank, or a one way assignment, punishment for both him and Alexia.
“We are doing well, here,” answered the voice on the other end of the phone. “Toronto and Hamilton have fallen and we are being welcomed as glorious liberators. Soon, we will be in Ottawa, and the flag of our great Socialist States will be flying over Canada.”
The Commissar relaxed, apparently pleased with the answer given by Sergeant 47313.
“How are your studies going, Alexia? Are you giving the teachers at your warphanage your very best effort? Over.”
“Yes, Daddy,” Alexia replied. “They are teaching us history, about how the Old Republic was evil and racist. Then, 34 years ago the glorious seed of Socialism was planted. The Socialists freed the slaves from the Old American Republic and the Great Socialist Revolution occurred which gave birth to the United Socialist States of America. But there are people of the Old Republic that still cling to their evil capitalist beliefs and are trying to drag us back to the old ways. My teachers say that’s why you and Mommy were conscripted to fight, to defend our glorious socialist society from being crushed by the Old American dream. Over.”
There was another long pause, and Alexia’s heart skipped a beat, fearful that they had been cut off. She looked up at the fat Commissar, worried that she had said something wrong. But his face remained expressionless and without empathy.
“I see,” came the voice on the other end. “That’s what they are saying. Over.”
Alexia took a deep breath and looked up, staring across the Plexiglas partition and into the eyes of the impassive fat Senior Lieutenant staring back at her, fingers pressing headphones into his ears so that he could hear every word of Alexia’s conversation with her father.
“Daddy,” said Alexia in a whisper, although she knew it would be pointless. The commissar would hear. They always heard. “Where’s Mommy? What happened to her? Over.”
There was a long pause, as the Senior Lieutenant stared daggers into little Alexia. After a few seconds, the voice bathed in static on the other end replied, “The… the… the enemy defenses around Mexico City were very strong, Alexia, or so I’ve been told. Your Mommy’s unit was pushed back.”
“Penalty, Sergeant 47313!” snapped the commissar sharply. “That will cost you 30 seconds of phone time.”
“Your Mommy’s unit took heavy casualties from the Old Republic Americans and their Mexican allies,” continued Sergeant 47313.
“Enough!” yelled the Commissar. “You’ve yielded the rest of your time! Compliance officer, take Alexia 09129 back to her bay!”
“Wait!” said Alexia. “I’m sorry! Daddy!” she cried into the phone, but the line had already been disconnected. A compliance officer was standing next to Alexia and snatched the phone from her hand. He tapped his compliance baton on the top of her head, but didn’t charge it. Instead, in a surprisingly sympathetic tone, the compliance officer said, “Come little one. Another month will pass quickly and you will be able to speak with him again. Just, next time, be more careful what you say. It will go better for the both of you.”
Alexia struggled to hide her tears of frustration and disappointment as she stood up from her stool and allowed the compliance officer to lead her out of the dark room, past a pair of compliance officers guarding the entrance, and out a set of thick windowless double doors towards a brightly lit hallway. From behind her, Alexia could hear the voice of the commissar announce, “Megan, 70993. You are next. Approach the window and have a seat. You will have three minutes to speak with your male parental unit,” followed by an excited squeal and the shuffle of little feet. Alexia shuddered even more, looking down at her feet as she scooted down the long corridor which led to the housing bays which the girls were kept.
The walls and ceiling of the corridor were lined in thick, unpainted, dreary grey concrete while the floor was covered in a grey hardwood tile. Thick, dark tinted windows lined the corridor giving a bleak view of the world outside: a concrete lot which completely surrounded the warphanage compound which, in turn, was surrounded by tall, electrified chain link fences topped with razor wire. At regular intervals, guard towers manned by armed soldiers overlooked the entire area. All of this was part of the generous precautions which the government had set in place to keep the children safe and secure from the wrong thoughts and incorrect feelings which were constantly assailing them from anti-Socialists who were trying to derail the revolution. The heating system, which had been down for the past year and a half, did nothing to keep out the chill of the late fall, but despite Alexia’s threadbare white gown, her knee high white socks with the holes worn into the heels and big toe, and her dingy grey canvas sneakers, Alexia was used to the cold. The sting of the chilly air was sometimes the only thing that reminded her that she was still alive.
The first four bays that they passed were each marked: Female Quarters- Ages 13 to 15. Capacity: 400. Further down the corridor, they came to four more separate bays, each marked: Female Quarters- Ages 10 to 12. Capacity: 400. Robotically, Alexia turned the corner and ascended a few steps which led to another long, dreary corridor to where the younger children were housed and, still without looking up, stopped in front of the familiar thick double doors of Female Quarters- Ages 4 to 6. Capacity: 400. 3nd Floor, Delta Bay.
“Tut-tut-tut, little Alexia,” said the compliance officer, gently tapping Alexia’s head with the compliance baton. Alexia looked up at the tall, thin, dark colored compliance officer, her hands hanging limply by her side. The name tag on the young compliance officer’s olive drab uniform read Ungoya, and he was from one of the savage countries which her teachers said was located in the Dark Continent. His thick, Dark Continent accent always made her giggle inside, but today, Alexia wasn’t much in the mood to giggle. Still, Alexia liked Officer Ungoya. In fact, most of the other children liked him as well. He was different than the other compliance officers. He was one of the very few compliance officers who came from the Dark Continent and he treated the children much differently than his fellow compliance officers, almost as if Alexia and her little friends didn’t come from the lower class. Almost as if Alexia were… human.
“Come, little young-young,” said Officer Ungoya and, without protesting, Alexia followed. They passed a few more housing bays, then followed the stairs down to the first floor which led to a small passageway with two sets of double doors on either side. These doors led outside to a dilapidated play area of broken down swings and rusty monkey bars surrounded by an exercise field. Alexia liked the exercise field, with its running track and various obstacle courses. But this time of year, it was mostly reserved for the older 13 to 15 year olds who would be preparing for conscription into active military service once they turned 16. Passing the doors leading outside, Officer Ungoya led Alexia down the concrete corridor which passed the indoor gym then took a left down another short corridor which led to a short flight of steps leading up to a set of double doors. The sign on top of the doors read ‘Cafeteria.’ Officer Ungoya stopped at the doors and looked down at Alexia and gently wiped the tears from her cheeks.
“You did not eat your dinner tonight, little young-young.”
Alexia slowly shook her head. “I…I went to the waiting room early so that I could be the first. I didn’t want to miss my chance to talk with… to talk with… my…” her voice trailed off as she mentally kicked herself in the head again for asking the wrong question and costing her the chance to finish talking with her daddy.
“But you do this every month, little Alexia,” replied Ungoya, as he knelt to look at Alexia face to face. “You skip your dinner meal in order to be the first to talk on the phone. You need to eat if you are going to have energy to speak with your papa, yes?”
Alexia simply nodded. “I am coming off my shift, little one. I expect you to eat as much as you can tonight so that you will have energy in the morning for your studies, okay?”
Alexis nodded again as Officer Ungoya tapped her head again with the compliance baton. Then, standing up, Officer Ungoya turned and faced the compliance officer standing guard at the door, a big, burly brute of a man who was not known for his patience with children of the lower class. “This little one was delayed through no fault of her own.” said Officer Ungoya. “Let her in with this age class so that she may eat dinner.”
The brutish compliance officer, whose uniform name tag read Williams, looked with barely hidden distain at Officer Ungoya, wondering how someone like Ungoya managed to outrank him, and resenting that he had to take orders from someone who came from the Dark Continent. Officer Williams stepped aside, making Officer Ungoya open the door for Alexia as she shuffled into the large, crowded, and noisy cafeteria.
“You’d best hurry if you want to eat,” said Williams gruffly as he pushed Alexia into the cafeteria. “In ten minutes the next class will be coming in.”
Officer Ungoya nodded at Alexia, and she smiled slightly in return as she turned to the right following the wall and taking a worn and chipped clapboard tray from a cart and a barely washed fork and spoon made of cheap aluminum. The line of cafeteria workers were gossiping loudly amongst themselves and paying Alexia no mind at all. One of the cafeteria servers, a skinny older woman, dumped a ladle full of creamed celery and bits of leftover bacon from breakfast haphazardly on Alexia’s tray. The next worker, a plump woman with an overabundance of lipstick who smelled as if she bathed in the cheapest perfume she could find, dropped a half baked dinner roll on the tray which landed with a plop on top of the creamed celery. The next cafeteria worker, not even looking at Alexia as she continued to laugh and yammer at the fat woman standing next to her, dropped a tong full of chopped, wilted lettuce and sliced tomatoes, some of which actually landed on Alexia’s tray. Finally, at the end of the cafeteria line, Alexia reached into a basin of melted ice which contained small containers of something labeled ‘grape flavored drink.’ The cafeteria worker who had barely managed to put the wilted lettuce on Alexia’s tray looked over and sneered, “Just take one!”
Alexia looked up at her and, not taking any of the containers of purple colored drink, grabbed her tray and shuffled into the dining area. The dining area was a long and wide room with a low roof with exposed, rusting, steel support beams. Six creaking ceiling fans shuffled the stale air around. Twenty-two long aluminum tables and benches stretched across the 200 foot long dining facility and they were packed with girls from the 7 to 9 age class. Loud conversation was forbidden, so they were all talking in low tones with each other. Alexia, feeling self conscious about being surrounded by girls who were all older than her, took a seat by herself at the end of one of the long benches. Not feeling the slightest bit hungry, she stared up at one of the thirty, flat screen, video monitors which lined the walls. If the government was generous with one thing, it was with supplying the people with inexpensive flat screen video monitors so that the whole population can be fully informed of the progress that the government was making with spreading the glorious Socialist revolution to the world.
Most of the video monitors were tuned in to the Children’s Pravda Network, the officially run government sponsored children’s station that featured popular shows such as “Can You Tell Me How To Get To Socialist Street,” and “Barack, the Friendly Blue Dinosaur.” Alexia watched as music videos of children singing patriotic songs of praise for famous Socialist leaders were being shown, followed soon thereafter by the Daily News for Children. Alexia focused more intently on the screen, as a lean, smiling, commissar wearing a spotless and pressed battle dress uniform, reported from the front lines of Ottawa. He stood in front of a wide screen which showed heroic American soldiers proudly and bravely charging forward over the battlefield and taking large amounts of enemy Canadians as prisoners. Next, the scene shifted to Toronto, where joyful Canadian citizens lined the streets of downtown Toronto and proudly waved small Canadian flags emblazoned with their new Socialist Democrat blue maple leaf, along with the Socialist Democrat blue flag with the white hammer and sickle in the top corner of the United Socialist States of America. Alexia eagerly scanned the video monitor, searching for a glimpse of her father among the American soldiers. But, seeing as she was only a baby when her father was conscripted to fight the evil capitalists, she did not know what he looked like. Alexia’s imagination drifted as images of heroic Americans in clean uniforms, shining body armor, and smiling faces flashed on the screen. Was that him? Maybe that’s him over there? Or maybe the one in the tank is my daddy?
More stories quickly followed, this time of America’s many Socialist military victories in Norway, Sweden, Finland, Denmark, and the Netherlands, and of the dastardly and evil resistance of America’s enemies in Great Britain, Germany, and France. Alexia didn’t know where these places were, nor did she care. Those places were across the water somewhere. She only knew that her daddy was fighting in a cold place called Canada, and her mommy was fighting in a hot place called Mexico. She continued intently watching the video monitor, not even thinking about her hunger or her growling stomach. But the Daily News for Children did not run a report about Mexico, although several weeks earlier, the news was gushing about an eventual American victory in the Mexican capital city.
Suddenly, three bells sounded as it was time for this class to leave the cafeteria and make room for the next class. A dozen compliance officers entered the room, banging on the aluminum tables with their batons and yelling at the children to get up and get out quickly, quickly, quickly! The children obediently picked up their trays of dirty dishes and swiftly took them to the far wall where they placed them on a long conveyor belt that transported the dirty dishes and trays down a rusting and squeaking belt which disappeared behind a wide opening in the concrete wall. Alexia followed her older classmen out the main exit doors and back around the corridor to the stairs which led back up to the living bays, watched over by a line of uniformed compliance officers standing at regular intervals in the halls.
Alexia’s mind was a jumble of thoughts assailing her all at once as she shuffled down the corridor. What did she say to make the commissar angry at her and end her phone call with her daddy? Will she get in trouble? Will her Daddy? What happened to Mommy? Why won’t they show stories of Mexico? Why did Daddy forget my birthday? She didn’t notice that the 7 to 9 year old girls had turned the corner to enter their bays and Alexia continued on absentmindedly strolling to her bay. She heard a loud crack just as she felt a searing, electrical pain in the small of her back. She dropped to the ground immediately, writhing in the sudden jolt of pain which ended as swiftly as it began. A compliance officer stood above her, this one an obese female whose olive drab uniform seemed two sizes too small for her. Her compliance baton vibrated with a crackling, static charge.
“And where do you think you’re going?” the compliance officer sneered at Alexia. “Your bay is back around the corner.
Alexia stood up on shaking knees, and attempted to straighten her gown, wiping the dust and dirt off from where she had fallen. She stared wide eyed at the compliance officer. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” pleaded Alexia. “I’m Alexia 09129. I didn’t eat dinner because I was waiting in the call center to talk with my daddy. So…so… Officer Ungoya told me to eat dinner with the next class.” Alexia held her hands up over her head unconsciously, as the obese female compliance officer charged her baton again. Alexia read her name tag. ‘Butler’
“That so?” said Butler, holding the baton above her head and waving it menacingly. “You better hustle your little butt down to your bay then, Alexia 09129. You’ll be late for shower night!”
Alexia’s eyes went wide and she turned on her heels. “Okay. Okay. Sorry. Sorry.” She repeated as she scampered down the corridor and back to her living area of the warphanage, hoping to not run into another compliance officer along the way.
Turning the corner towards Female Quarters- Ages 4 to 6, Delta Bay, Alexia was relieved to see her friends already beginning to line up outside. This being Sunday night, it was their turn for their weekly shower which consisted of each girl lining up outside their bay in the corridor and walking downstairs to the shower conveyors, again under the ever watchful eyes of compliance officers.
The showers were actually one long concrete bay with drains running along the sides. Alexia removed her white gown, her socks with the holes, and her underclothes and, along with the other girls from her bay, tossed the dirty clothing into large white canvas hampers. Then she got in line behind several other girls as they awaited their turn to step on a conveyor which ran down the middle of the shower bay, much like the rolling sidewalks one might see inside an airport. Holding her canvas shoes in her hand, Alexia stepped on the rubber matted conveyor which ran under a sprinkler system which sprayed the girls with a harsh jet of hot water which steamed up the entire bay. Sometimes, especially during the summer months, the water was scalding hot and turned skin red. But during the late fall, the water was reasonably warm. Alexia rode the conveyor under the sprinkler for a few meters before the conveyor passed a long row of wet sponges set on return rollers on either side of the conveyor.
Alexia quickly grabbed one of the thick, yellow sponges as the conveyor continued under another set of sprinklers which, this time, sprayed soapy water down at the girls. Alexia used the sponge to quickly scrub her face, under her armpits, her feet and everywhere else she could before it was time to place the sponges back on the return rollers which sent them back up the conveyor. Shortly after, the conveyor ran under another set of sprinklers which showered the girls with cold water to rinse them off. Finally, the conveyor ran between two walls flanked by banks of hot air dryers which blew directly at the girls on the conveyor and doing a lackluster job of drying them off.
Like everything under the glorious Socialist system, the entire process of washing hundreds of children was quick and efficient and less than three minutes after she first stepped onto the conveyor belt, Alexia was standing in another large bay waiting in another line to draw a fresh allotment of clothes, the steam of the washing bay pouring into this bay and chasing away the chill. The girls proceeded down the right side of the wall where adult warphanage workers handed each little girl two clean cotton gowns out of large canvas hampers. The gowns were supposed to go down to just below the wearer’s knees, not matter how tall or short the wearer happened to be. Each girl also received one long sleeping gown and two pairs of white, knee high socks and Alexia was thrilled to see that only one sock had a hole worn into the heel. Finally, each girl was issued three pairs of underclothes to last them until the next Sunday. Before the girls left this room, they stopped at one more station where a young, bored-looking, adult female wearing a light blue blouse and a white apron waited with small white cardboard boxes stacked behind her.
The little girl standing in front of Alexia walked to this last station, and the bored–looking female said curtly, “Name?”
“Miya 09145,” said the little girl, shyly.
The female worker turned and checked the names on the boxes. Looking annoyed, she then turned and checked a roster which was on the desk in front of her. “Miya 09145, huh?” she said. “It says here that your last shoe issue was four months ago! They’re still like new! Check back again next month.”
Little Miya glanced down at her big toe slowly peaking out from a small hole which was being worn away in her right shoe. “Okay,” Miya whispered before shuffling out the doorway.
Alexia walked up, feeling the cheap rubber of the canvas shoes separating from the heels as she walked. “Name?” the female worker said.
“Alexia 09129,” Alexia answered.
“Nope, nothing here for you,” said the female worker, not bothering to turn around. “Try again next month.”
“But…” said Alexia pointing behind the worker. “That box has my name on it. Alexia 09129.”
A compliance officer standing at the exit glanced at the female worker who, in turn, stared daggers at Alexia. Children’s canvas shoes could bring in lots of extra money when sold on the black market, what with the shortage of rubber. The female worker turned to Alexia again and said, “What is your number again? And this time, don’t be so quiet to where I could not hear you!” The worker said it loud enough so that the compliance officer could hear.
“I’m sorry. Sorry,” said Alexia. “Alexia 09129!” she said loudly.
“Here” said the female worker, tossing a white box at Alexia, the new pair of canvas shoes falling out.
Alexia smiled. “Thank you!” she said, picking her new shoes up off the floor. “Thank you! Oh, and um…those are Miya’s shoes right there!”
“What?” said the female worker, looking as if she were ready to jump across the table to strike Alexia.
“Umm… those are… umm… Miya’s shoes?” said Alexia, pointing at another white box but nervously staring back at the compliance officer at the door. “Miya 09145.”
The young female worker reached into the stack of shoes and pushed it across the desk where it landed on the floor with a thump in front of Alexia. Alexia again picked up the shoes, smiling broadly and saying, “Thank you! Thank you!” but the annoyed worker was already yelling, “Next!”
The compliance officer standing at the door said, “Get to your bay!” as his compliance baton crackled to life.
“Okay…okay…sorry!” said Alexia as she scampered out of the room towards her bay, hands full with two boxes of new shoes, one pair for her and one pair for her friend Miya as she scampered up the stairs to the 3rd floor.
About half of the girls had already returned to the bay from the showers and were busy sweeping and cleaning, making the bay ready for end of day indoctrination. Alexia easily navigated the maze of identically laid out rows of bunk beds and quickly made her way to Miya’s bed. She found her putting away her newly issued clothes. Miya was a week younger than Alexia and small for her age. She was a tan skinned little girl with curly brown hair and bright green eyes, the result of her father being black and her mother being white.
“Miya! Miya! Miya!” squealed Alexia, holding out Miya’s new shoes for her. “Your new shoes came after all!”
Miya turned, her bright green eyes wide with surprise. “Are those really for me? But I thought the lady said I don’t have shoes?”
Alexia nodded excitedly, “She just…ummm… forgot to look closely, I guess.” said Alexia.
Miya hugged Alexia tightly and, in a trembling voice said, “Thank you.”
Alexia hadn’t expected for Miya to hug her so tightly, nor did she expect to hear her friend so near to tears. “Miya,” said Alexia. “Are you okay? What’s wrong?”
Miya pulled away, surprising Alexia again as she wiped tears from her face. This wasn’t like Miya at all. She was usually all smiles and upbeat with positive energy and Miya was especially electric as today was the day the children got to talk with their parents. Miya, however, only had permission to talk with her father. Miya’s mother, who was extremely beautiful from the few pictures Alexia had seen of her, had been given the honor of being a breeder for high ranking officers serving in the upper classes of the military. As such, Miya was not allowed to talk with her mother as it was her mother’s duty to birth babies for the higher class citizens whom would eventually grow up to serve and expand the revolution. Still, Alexia noticed that after Miya had spoken with her father today, Miya seemed down, almost depressed. That was not like her at all.
“Nothing,” Miya answered a little too quickly. “Nothing at all.” She hugged Alexia again. “Thank you for getting my shoes for me!” She turned serious for a moment, and said, “Alexia, how was your phone call with your Daddy? I heard that you got in trouble.”
“It was, fine, I guess,” said Alexia. “I think I asked something wrong that the commissar didn’t like.”
“Did you get in trouble?” said Miya.
“No,” replied Alexia. “I don’t think I’ll get in trouble. I hope my Daddy won’t get in trouble either. How was your call with your Daddy?”
Miya looked like she was going to cry again, but stifled a sniffle and changing the subject, said, “We should clean the bay for end of day indoctrination.”
Deciding to set Miya’s strange sadness aside for now, Alexia said, “Okay!” Alexia was part of a working party charged with mopping and cleaning the toilets while Miya was part of another working party that was supposed to pick up and clean the shower bay. After about an hour, all of the girls had gathered back in their bay for end of day indoctrination.
End of day indoctrination was pretty much the same every night, with the assigned female commissar for the bay gathering the girls into a large common area and leading them in upbeat and patriotic songs honoring the Founding Fathers of the United Socialist States of America like Chairman Mao, Bill Ayers, Saul Alinsky, Carl Marx, and Che Guevara. After the rousing songs, in which compliance officers ensured that the girls displayed the proper high level of enthusiasm, intermingled with rousing stories of the countless victories which the children’s parents were achieving on battlefields far across the globe, the female commissar led the girls in the Pledge of Allegiance, which all children were required to learn by the age of four:
“I pledge my life to the party of the United Socialist States of America,
And to the Democracy for which it stands,
One nation under government,
Indivisible, with equality and social justice for the deserving.”
submitted by Taxi_Dancer to DrCreepensVault [link] [comments]


2020.07.28 18:00 HHHRobot Hype Tuesday: Post songs by artists that haven't gotten more than 50 upvotes on HHH

Rules

Artists qualify if they're never gotten 50 or more upvotes on /HipHopHeads (counting features)

Formatting:

Artist - Title
Description: no character minimum but some things that might be good to include: where the rapper is from, what subgenres they might fall into, have cosigns they might have, what their influences are/who they sound like.
Example:
Aaron May - Let Go
17 year old Houston Rapper, biggest influences are J Cole and Nas.

Curtis Waters

System
Stunnin' ft. Harm Franklin
I Aint Too Sure About My Future
Nepali artist from North Carolina has been bubbling on Soundcloud for a while and blew up recently on Tik Tok with Stunnin', funky pop rap, like if Joji if was happy. He followed it up with System, an industrial anti-capitalist banger, which is an unexpected 180 that he pulls off pretty well
Pigeons & Planes Interview

Sematary

Sematary is like if you took xanax era chief keef where he was doing his weird poorly mixed warbly autotuned sing rapping thing, made the aesthetic white trash and cop hating, and made the production trap beats that use warped black metal samples. He's not for everyone but something about it just works for me.
Hogs
Ak47
Red Mist

Wax Mustang

POWERBALL MONICA BONES
Wax Mustang is a hip hop artist from New Zealand, he quit his job as a carpet salesman to pursue his dream in music after saving some money and decided to give it a year, as the window of time began getting narrower he started garnering attention from the internet.
I honestly don't know what his music falls under, it's hip-hop for sure but I don't know exactly what sub genre, perhaps alternative? it's bouncy, it's charismatic, it's confident, but at the same time it feels vulnerable as well, don't sleep.

Amir Tripp

Dark Knight (feat. Saba)
American Psycho
Red Wave
Hardball
Rapper from Chicago that received a lot of praise from some fairly notable names (DJ Booth, Lyrical Lemonade) back in 2017-2018 and just never blew up. I think he's pretty good, he's done songs with Saba, and ik how much you guys love him, so check out Amir!
Im gonna be posting some Texas/southern trap. Im from Texas pretty much my whole life so I really enjoy finding up and coming rappers from the area.
Lil Loaded
6locc 6a6y
Gang Unit feat. YG
Opps On Fire
6locc 6a6y put this Dallas rapper in the spotlight and he recently has gotten features from NLE Choppa on that song, YG on the song I linked above, and also a feature from King Von. Hes a pretty generic trap rapper, but I enjoy his beat selection and I think he has a strong charismatic presence on his songs.
Lil 2z
Finally
Story Time
Puppets
Another Dallas rapper that I have been following for quite some time. I enjoy his work because it has a more personal touch to it. He tells good stories in his raps over very hard beats.
Gwapmizzle
500 ON ME
The last Dallas rapper that I'll be talking about in this post. I know him through a friend of a friend. I am not gonna lie and say everything he puts out is great, but this song goes crazy hard and should be checked out.
Lil Payne
First Day Out Freestyle
Prove Wrong
Now Ill be posting some Houston rappers. Lil Payne is a friend of mine who is still in his beginning stages of music. I genuinely enjoy his stuff and would listen to it even if he was not a friend. Prove Wrong is my personal favorite of his, but it does not have a video at this time.
Ghost Magneto RIP & BG Kenny Lou RIP
Y.K.W.T.F.G.O
F*cc Up The City
I'm The One
These rappers were associates with Maxo Kream and were on the verge of blowing up. These two Houston rappers were good friends, and released excellent music together. They both have individual work but I think their greatest songs are when they are flowing off each other. YKWTFGO is a classic trap banger, no hooks or choruses just bars for the entire track. F up the city and Im The one are more melodic trap verses and are outstanding. Unfortunately they both lost their lives in a shooting that occurred I believe int he last year. It does seem they still have vaulted music that is being released though.
Fredo Bang
Oouuh
Yo Slime
Cap A Lot
This is the last rapper I will talk about in this post. He is from Youngboy NBA's former crew in Louisiana (TBG) and recently got out of jail. Some of his songs have begun to blow up and I believe he will soon reach national success.
If anyone is interested I would be willing to do similar posts from areas such as Chicago, Florida, or the Northeastern region of the US (excluding New York).

Cartoon Ben

From the Hills
19 year old rappe producer from toronto, i’ve produced for artists such as cold hart, and smrtdeath.
influences: playboi carti, yung lean, lil tracy
Heavily recommended: If you post a song, listen to another song and comment on it. Otherwise it doesn't rly work that well.
Feel free to add any feedback on what could make these threads better.
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2020.07.07 05:09 periergos Karaoke machine for Chinese songs

Hi! My mom loves singing to older chinese songs. She's looking for a karaoke machine similar to ones at karaoke bars where it can display music videos and highlight words as you sing. Does anyone know where I can purchase something like that in Canada (Toronto area)? TIA
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2020.06.25 15:57 Lylyluvda916 Showmance Recap Glee Tour Part 2

Apple Podcast Showmance Link
PodcastOne Link
Spotify Podcast Link
Recap:
That's a wrap.
Next week is going to be the recap for S2E1. There will be a link for the watch party at 3:00 pm PST. There will be a recap and discussion for that episode. Think you'll miss the watch party(ies)? That's okay. Feel free to chime in on the episode discussion(s).
Have questions for KJ, submit them to [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected]) or leave a message on the SHOWMANCE HOTLINE at 424.248.8065
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2020.06.23 06:10 thetorontobot Toronto Daily - Jun 23rd 2020

Welcome to the Toronto Daily Thread.

This thread serves two purposes:
1) To collect and make visible new posts in smaller Toronto based subreddits.
Feel free to visit, comment and be generally helpful in posts indexed below. Please also remember to stay on your best behaviour when travelling outside of /toronto.
2) To act as a general off-topic conversation hub for the day.
To that end, use this thread to talk about whatever is on your mind, regardless of whether or not it's related to Toronto.
No matter where you're posting, please remember to be excellent to each other.

/AskTO

Post Title Author Comments
Do you think that the public alcohol laws should be a bit more relaxed because of the times? canadianredditor123 2
Where to Book an Online Doctor Appointment KeoXita 1
For the first time I'm gonna pick fruits at the fruit markets on bloor. Is it cheaper than a no frills/sobeys? Also is it cool to eat them even tho the pandemic's still going on flowthrowy 2
Humidity during rain dxing2 2
Now that Toronto will be in Stage 2, are you being asked to return to the office/stop WFH? MainPaige 3
Seeking to play Japanese Rhythm Arcade Games in Toronto. ichigokurosaki1991 2
Looking for advice and possibly a journalist to contact for a story involving BLM and the hospitality industry Whatserface 9
Does anyone know where I can find a "Dwarf Cavendish" Banana Plant in the GTA? naheedzzz 3
Wheat Pasting in Toronto question about legality. Hoax_1 1
20 Prince Arthur Ave GTAchickennuggets 1
Are local playgrounds open? emilyelizabeth529 1
How to request my internet history logs from my telco (I’m paying the whole bills)? hartreddit 7
Do you swim in the lake? essdotelle21 5
NO AC in 16th floor apartment LegoAddict123 8
People who commute downtown (TTC/GO), what day is the busiest/least busiest now? MainPaige 1
my necklace (gold) has a crack in it, any recommended jewelers to fix it? MiNuN_De_CoMpUtEr 0
White feathery stuff floating up imstandingstill 5
A place to practice singing gaebn 7
Good Bars/Clubs Open Downtown to meet girls Stage 2 uwocompsci222 12
Is it okay to travel within Canada? SomeUsername445 3
Employees refusing to come back to work – want to collect CERB cattowerpenthouse 10
Where can I buy the Wacom Cintiq 16 in Canada? JomuStudios 4
Certified Transcriptions for College oigapepe 1
Did the price of beef go up? allyaee 9
Back in the office, no one is wearing masks or distancing. Anyone in the similar circumstances? motherfailure 12

/TorontoJobs

Post Title Author Comments
I made the change and it's not what I expected KdotL27 1
[HIRING] Senior Data Scientist at Bell Canada in Toronto, ON boinabbc 0
[For Hire] Digital Marketing Recent Graduate LotusTreeBark 1

/TorontoEvents

Post Title Author Comments
9PM TONIGHT! LIVE Escape Room game! Escape Capade podcast on Bad Dog Theatre Comedy TV! Podrianna 0
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2020.06.10 04:10 RaisedOnSwirsky [OC] Top 10 most painful Raptors games in franchise history

This was initially going to be a nostalgic short essay about how much I loved the 2018-2019 Raptors, but as I was in the midst of a short trip down memory lane, I was ironically also reminded how many times the Raptors had come up short in big games, or worse, been a full-on laughing stock over the course of the franchise’s 23 seasons prior.
Watching the Raptors finally reach the mountain top was intoxicating. After years of soul-crushing playoff failures, the Raptors had a post-season for the ages, closing out the Warriors in a terrific 6-game Finals series. Kawhi was simply incredible. Siakam was terrific. Lowry was vindicated. The supporting cast was near perfect.
It was an extremely satisfying journey as a long-time, die-hard Raptors fanatic. So good, in fact, Kawhi leaving did not tarnish the accomplishment whatsoever; this helped. The only thing I would have changed would have been the Masai/ Oakland cop dust-up. Oh well. For me and countless other tenured Raptors fans, the heart-breaking moments in previous seasons were silently the reason the 2019 Raptors season was such a thrilling roller coaster ride; you can’t enjoy the sun shining without a little rain. Make sure keep a strong adult beverage close by as you step into the time machine with me; the nice memories end here.
#10 - December 3rd, 2013 – Game 17 @ Golden State Warriors - Box Score
Coming off three straight losses, Toronto is 6-10 to start the 2013-2014 campaign and we’re about 40 or so games into the Rudy Gay experiment, two weeks removed from an all-time “Please stop shooting the ball” performance against Houston; Gay shot 11-37 for 29 points in a double-overtime loss (DeRozan was not far behind with 22 points on 6-25 shooting.) After the natural pre-season optimism wore off, trade rumours were already brewing and Raptors fans were collectively not enjoying the season up to this point; this team just wasn’t a lot of fun to watch on most nights.
Curry and the Warriors are off to a decent start at 10-8 but expectations are much higher after their 2013 Playoff explosion and the off-season addition of Andre Iguodala. They haven’t yet unlocked their potential (they still haven’t even hired Steve Kerr at this point) but they are definitely a dangerous team with firepower galore.
Toronto begins the game on fire, leading 36-19 after the first quarter and maintaining the 17-point lead going into halftime. The Raptors keep their foot on the gas to begin the second half, ripping off 10 straight in the first 3 minutes and ballooning their lead to 27 points (75-48.) Watching the game live, things could not have looked any better; I even started to let my guard down a bit, confident the Raptors could hold on and get back on track with an impressive road victory.
Yea... about that...
Golden State outscores the Raptors 64 to 28 from that point on, though it was not immediately obvious an avalanche was about to be unleashed. The Warriors climb back into the game and are down 18 heading into the fourth quarter, when all hell breaks loose. The Raptors are decimated by good Warriors ball movement and playmaking, a three-point barrage, as well as their own scoring drought, all while the home crowd at Oracle is raising the volume to deafening levels.
The fourth quarter is 42-15 in favour of the Warriors; after leading by 27, the Raptors ultimately lose by 9, 112-103. This game had to have given GM Masai Ujiri ammunition to clean house; I can only assume many phone calls were made in the hours following this mess. The Raptors had lost valuable momentum in the right direction for the season, in one game, and the fans were left with their head in their hands.
#9 - 2019 – Game 1, Quarter-Finals vs. Orlando Magic - Box Score
It’s mid-April in Toronto and the cold is beginning to melt away; it’s become synonymous with Playoff basketball as fans pack Maple Leaf Square, transforming it into the vaunted Jurassic Park. The excitement is always palpable, and this naturally tinges the air with a unique brand of cautious optimism. The media is ready as always to inform the world that the Raptors’ record in Game 1’s is terrible. Coming into this game, the Raptors are 1-9 in the first game of the playoffs. For whatever reason, regardless of the talent on the floor, the Raptors are notorious for getting off on the wrong foot.
This season has been a bit of an experiment, with off-season import Kawhi Leonard now leading the pack to a 58-win season, one shy of the team’s regular season record. The Raptors are facing a feisty Orlando Magic squad that have won 11 of 13 games coming into the playoffs, their 42-40 season record not properly reflecting the ability and tenacity of the team. Despite the history of Game 1 disappointments, this Raptors squad is fundamentally different and carries itself with a certain swagger and confidence.
The Raptors start the game well, though they can’t seem to establish a firm grip on the lead. Orlando suddenly catches fire towards the end of the first half, going on a 15-0 run to take a 57-41 lead as the crowd began to get uncomfortable in their seats. The Raptors restore order in the second half and a competitive game continues well into the fourth quarter. With a minute and a half remaining, Leonard drills a game-tying triple, the game knotted at 99-all. Orlando misses on the other end, Leonard grabs the rebound and dribbles down as the crowd begins to get hyped; he isolates on Aaron Gordon and knocks down a tough baseline jumper with a minute left. Things are looking good!
Orlando’s DJ Augustin ties the game back up with a driving lay-up, then Marc Gasol goes for a kill-shot triple that comes up short. With 4 seconds left, DJ Augustin is given a disappointing amount of space and hits a deep three-ball. Ok, well that sucks... but we’ve still got the ball and Kawhi is a clutch performer, right? Inbound pass goes to Leonard, who fires up a deep fadeaway 3-pointer... that sails out of bounds for an airball. Orlando inbounds the ball after a timeout and the game is over. The crowd is stunned.
How does this happen every year? It’s truly inexplicable. Local media was eating up the Raptors choke angle. Lowry did nothing to aid his playoff reputation at the time, going scoreless while his counterpart Augustin dropped a cool 25. As a die-hard Lowry defender, I understand and vouch for the fact that Kyle is always contributing in more ways than just scoring, but to see him deliver a Donut was tough to digest, especially in such a close game where the rest of the team held their end up.
The bright side to this loss? It proved to be just what Toronto needed. We later learned that, shockingly, Nick Nurse was unhappy with the outcome. In the process of reaming out the team, a fire was lit under the players’ collective asses, and the team never looked back.
#8 - April 4th, 2010 – Game 76 vs. Golden State Warriors - Box Score
Coming into this game, the Raptors are 38-37, just managing to stay in the playoff race for the 8th seed. Their competition for the 8th spot is Derrick Rose and the upstart Chicago Bulls, both teams basically separated by a game or two in the standings. Toronto is led by Chris “Predator” Bosh, early-peak Andrea Bargnani and, with all due respect, a whole other cast of meh. This was also the Hedo Turkoglu season, which will go down in infamy as one of the least enjoyable times in our short history.
Golden State is 22-53, and have been struggling thru a season of transition with multiple trades occurring and plagued by injuries. This combo led to Golden State fielding short-handed line-ups with a variety of D-League call-ups throughout the year, the group led by Monta Ellis, Corey Maggette and a rookie sensation by the name of Stephen Curry. The Warriors were not a pushover opponent, but considering the stakes and obvious urgency for Toronto, this was a victory on paper for the Raptors.
Skip to halfway thru the fourth quarter and... the Raptors are down by 16 with just under 7 minutes remaining. Curry just put in a layup and the Raptors call timeout. The crowd is not happy about it and lets the team know about with a chorus of boos; the team seems defeated yet there’s so much time remaining.
The Raptors find their footing again and mount a strong comeback from this point on. The final minute is basically a free-throw shooting contest, and with 2.9 seconds left, Bosh is at the free-throw line shooting two, the Raptors down 113-110. He makes both, and now the Warriors need to inbound under their basket. Turiaf tries to sneak a pass to Curry, but the pass is intercepted and miraculously saved inbounds by Raptors guard Sonny Weems, tossing it back to Bosh standing at the charge/ block circle.
Bosh gathers the ball and goes up for a layup... that bounces off the backboard and rim, followed by Turiaf tipping the rebound out to half court and the clock expiring. Raptors lose, 113-112. The crowd reaction to the missed layup says it all.
A strange caveat of the game was this victory is Don Nelson’s 1332nd victory as a head coach, tying him for the all-time record with Lenny Wilkins. It was a bit of salt in the Raptors’ wound to see the Warriors celebrating this particular victory considering the significance and how it ended, but it was much deserved for Nelson.
Despite this loss, the Raptors were still in the playoff hunt, but this game seemed to break their back, so to speak, as they would go on to lose their next 4 games as well, including to their playoff race rival Bulls a couple games later. Little did we know this would also be Bosh’s last season with Toronto; he did not leave on a bad note but the ending of this season was extremely dissatisfying and ranks in my books as one of the most frustrating in franchise history.
#7 - November 21st, 2008 – Game 12 vs. New Jersey Nets - Box Score
Vince Carter and crushing the Raptors; name a more iconic duo. As covered earlier in dis-honourable mention, Carter has a penchant for breaking the Raptors spirits, and came into this one with a game-winner in Toronto already under his belt. There was no reason to believe this game was going to be anything special prior to the tip, but with Carter in town, there are usually fireworks, and as the game progressed it took on the feel of another regular season classic.
The Raptors are rolling and go up by as many as 18 before the Nets climbed back in. Devin Harris was particularly hot in 4th quarter, but of course Vince Carter made his presence felt as well. The game remains close down the stretch, and the Raptors are up 2 with Anthony Parker at the free-throw line. Parker misses the first, but nails the second, the Raptors now clinging to a 3-point lead.
3.4 seconds left and the crowd is alive. Inbound pass goes to Vince, and with Anthony Parker right in his face, Carter drills a triple with 0.5 remaining. The ball seemed to hang in the air for an extra dreadful second before going in. Vince passionately screams at the ceiling as he comes back down the floor. It was so predictable yet it still hurt so much. The Raptors don’t even get an attempt off after that and we go to overtime.
The Raptors and Nets trade baskets in overtime before the Nets take a 4-point lead. Bosh nails a tough three-ball, then the Nets’ Jarvis Hayes gets fouled and makes both free throws. Anthony Parker ties the game with an epic catch and shoot three-ball with 2.1 seconds left that blows the roof off the Air Canada Centre. What a game. A second overtime would be nice.
The Raptors choose to defend man-to-man on the ensuing inbounds play as the Nets spread the floor out, leaving the paint and basket area wide open. Various Nets set screens and move around, and amid the confusion, the Nets’ Jarvis Hayes throws a perfect inbound lob to none other than Vincent Lamar Carter who REVERSE-ALLEY-OOP-DUNKS the game-winning basket with 1.5 seconds to go, the moment perfectly encapsulated in four words by play-by-play announcer Matt Devlin: “Oh no!!... 1.5 … Devastating.”
Words cannot describe how much this hurt to watch. The arena was shocked and the team was broken. Parker tossed up a last-second heave to no avail, and Vince Carter once again left his old stomping grounds as the victorious villian. To understand the level of pain Vince Carter inflicted, you have to understand the history of the beef.
Vince has not always been the winner of matchups against his former team, but he always brought a little extra for these games; he seemed to relish being the bad guy in Toronto, the crowd booing every time he touched the ball and delightedly cheering his every miss. Sadly for Raptor fans, Vince Carter was very good at making clutch shots while wearing an opposing uniform, especially on Canadian soil.
#6 - 2018 – Game 1, Conference Semi-Finals vs. Cleveland Cavaliers - Box Score
Toronto has just come off a satisfying series win against the pesky Washington Wizards, disposing over an overconfident but underachieving squad in 6 games. There’s tremendous anticipation for the next round, with the Raptors facing the Cavaliers for the 3rd straight season. The Cavs just came off a 7-game series against the Pacers where they looked vulnerable and overly dependent on the heroics of LeBron. The feeling was that the Raptors were deeper, well-balanced and more cohesive, ready to ascend and take the throne, while the Cavs are a shell of themselves and still trying to work out the kinks after making multiple mid-season trades. Throw in national sports channel commercials highlighting years of playoff scars and promoting the Raptors as contenders (i.e “The time is now!”) and you had Raptors fans wanting blood.
The Raptors are showing no fear, playing very strong basketball and showing their versatility and balance through the first three quarters. Centre Jonas Valanciunas is especially feasting on the smaller Cavaliers lineups, finishing the game with 21 rebounds and generally causing problems in the paint. The Cavs keep it close with timely three-pointers and fierce offensive rebounding from Tristan Thompson, the Raptors holding a thin 5-point lead going into the fourth quarter.
The Raptors keep their foot on the gas but they can’t seem to shake the Cavs. Buttholes begin clenching with about 5 minutes left, as the starters for both teams come back in to close the game. Toronto is strategically attacking the paint, trying to draw fouls and also trying to get more touches for Valanciunas. Unfortunately, despite Valanciunas’ clear size advantage, he isn’t converting when it matters, missing 6 of his 7 shot attempts from within 6 feet of the basket in the fourth quarter. Yes, it was tough to watch, thanks for asking.
Skip to the final minute; you can feel the sense of urgency for the Raptors to win but LeBron just won’t go away. The King backs down OG Anunoby on the right block and steps back for a fadeaway jumper that rattles home. Tie game at 105, Raptors have the ball with 30 seconds left.
Raptors run a play for DeRozan, who drives in from the right wing, then fools the entire Cavs defence by kicking it back to Van Vleet for three... too long! DeRozan rebounds and puts it up again from 8 feet out... no good! CJ Miles on the tip... a second time... Valanciunas tips it... still no score! Unbelievable. You couldn’t believe it even if you had just watched it. Why can’t this team make the big shot?
Overtime swings to the Cavs, who make a couple three balls and Tristan Thompson puts in a tough offensive rebound put back off a LeBron miss to take a 113-107 lead. The Raptors keep it close, but down 1 point late in overtime, DeRozan drives in, passes out to VanVleet again... who misses again. Cavs win.
Though the argument could be made at the time that it just one game, this Game 1 loss was monumental. Purely from a psyche standpoint, the Raptors virtually needed to win this game. Not only as a pressure release with the stakes so high, but also as a confidence booster for a team tortured on an annual basis by LeBron James and company. LeBron shot 12-30 in this game, an anomaly in retrospect and more evidence that this was without a doubt a lost opportunity to get into the right gear for the rest of the series.
#5 - 2018 – Game 4, Conference Semi-Finals @ Cleveland Cavaliers - Box Score
This entries’ place on the list is certainly debatable, but there’s no denying its validity and resonance. This game was the nail in the coffin for the 2018 Raptors; for me it was the basketball equivalent of watching your best friend pick a fight with the biggest guy at the bar, then viewing the subsequent ass-kicking knowing you can’t do anything to stop it.
Toronto is down 3-0 to Cleveland at this point, and hope is almost certainly lost for the team to make a series comeback. Cleveland has outplayed the Raptors for the better part of the three previous games, and at this point, the Raptors are playing for pride and trying not to get swept; Casey made this point very clear. Winning 1 game isn’t that much better than a sweep, but the idea that you put up a fight does mean something in retrospect.
The Cavs close out the first half on a 12-0 run to take a 16-point lead. Larger deficits have been made up, but time is running out and the Raptors haven’t exactly looked desperate to win. The Cavs continue to pour it on in the second half, and with 25 seconds left in the third quarter, VanVleet turns the ball over, leading to DeMar DeRozan chasing down Jordan Clarkson and committing a hard foul in an attempt to block the shot. Clarkson made the basket for an And-1, while DeRozan’s foul was assessed as a Flagrant Two. The team’s best player was ejected from the final game of the season with 13 points. The Cavs outscored the Raptors by 12 in the third quarter to take a 28-point lead going into the fourth; it’s ugly, but hopefully it doesn’t get worse. (Narrator: it got worse.)
The Cavs continue to beat down Toronto; the Raptors are waving the white flag but there’s no way out. To be quite honest, the fourth quarter was the most depressing quarter of NBA basketball I’ve ever seen. If there was a mercy rule in the NBA, it would have happened after LeBron added this shot to his lengthy career highlight reel. After an obscene amount of garbage time, the game (and Raptors season) was officially over.
Final score: 128-93. Just like that, the magical 59-win regular season went up in smoke and it was back to the drawing board for Masai and company. Let the memes begin.
LeBron simply had the Raptors’ number every time they faced off, and this series cemented his status in Toronto Playoff lore as the ultimate brick wall. One of the most incredible stats from this series: LeBron alone had 136 points, 45 assists and 33 rebounds in the series, while Lowry and DeRozan combined for 138 points, 46 assists and 30 rebounds. I mean... that’s just staggering. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a team more broken by an individuals’ presence than these Raptors.
#4 - 2015 – Game 3, Quarter-Finals vs. Washington Wizards - Box Score
The Raptors have recently completed the most successful season in franchise history, winning 49 games and securing a second-straight playoff birth. The Raptors were a force to be reckoned with going into All-Star break at 36-17; the surprisingly-successful roster of the previous season was intact and thriving, strong and well-balanced on both ends. Post-All Star break is a different story; Toronto would win 13 of their next 29 games, with Lowry struggling with back spasms and the offense sputtering as the season wound down. They would finish as the fourth seed, matching up with the John Wall and Paul Pierce-led Washington Wizards.
There was a sense of cautious optimism heading into the post-season; we weren’t sure which team would show up in the First Round, but the loyal playoff crowd would be right behind them. Unfortunately, the good Raptors were M.I.A through the first two games; the Wizards stole two in Toronto and just like that, full-blown negativity was on the menu. Lowry was really struggling in particular, averaging just 6.5 points and 5 assists on 25% in the first two games.
Game 3 was back in Washington and looked promising to begin with; DeRozan came out on fire, scoring 20 points and hitting 3 three-pointers in the first quarter, but the Wizards kept pace and took the lead going into halftime. The second half was filled with some semi-ugly basketball but it was close late in the fourth quarter. The Wizards led 92-90 with 2:40 left, then Otto Porter and Paul Pierce nailed back-to-back threes to stretch the lead to 8 with 2 minutes remaining, the latter shot prompting play-by-play announcer Mark Davis to comment, “insert the knife!” Things were not looking good at this point, though a minute later, Kyle Lowry closed the gap to 3 with less than a minute to go. Not to be outdone by a Raptor, Paul Pierce once again drilled a three-pointer with 17 seconds left; the fork could be stuck in alongside the knife.
This loss hurt for multiple reasons; we had watched the Raptors go from the top-seed in the East around mid-season, to the 4th seed and a first-round flame out. Pierce eliminating the Raptors last season with a clutch block, then basically eliminating them on a different team just one season later was extra salt on the wound. Lowry was battling back problems for the 2nd half of the season, but it was difficult watching the All-Star starter’s poor performance in this series. This series was the beginning of the “Lowry isn’t a playoff performer” narrative that followed him until he won the chip in 2019.
Wizards coach Randy Wittman out-coached Dwane Casey for 4 straight games, but Casey also made some questionable line-up decisions. The most glaring of those decisions: why was James Johnson, arguably the best defensive player on the Raptors, riding the bench while Paul Pierce was torching defenders left and right? Masai Ujiri had signed Johnson in the offseason on the cheap, had some solid moments in the season, then hardly saw the floor in the playoffs, totalling 11 minutes and 54 seconds of playing time in the Wizards series. Really frustrating stuff on the whole that left a sour taste in fans’ mouths.
#3 - 2018 – Game 2, Conference Semi-Finals vs. Cleveland Cavaliers - Box Score
Coming off the disappointment of Game 1 of the series, expectations were high for Toronto to respond in a big way. All season, the Raptors had proven themselves to be a team capable of making adjustments and counter-acting opponents’ strategy, and despite the Raptors’ history (to that point) of underachieving/ choking/[insert insult here], there was plenty of revenge-flavored tension in the air and the opportunity to punch Cleveland back in the mouth was still hanging in the balance.
The first half was competitive as expected, with Toronto playing good basketball and looking fearless. The team definitely still looked and felt different than previous seasons; they seem to have absorbed the game 1 outcome, and came back ready to fight. The Raptors lead by 2 at the half.
LeBron and the Cavs come out guns blazing in the third quarter, knocking down several three-pointers and opening up a double-digit lead heading into the fourth quarter. In an obvious effort to provide more spacing and shooting for his offense, Dwane Casey opted to start three-point specialist CJ Miles to begin the second half, but this also created a giant mismatch on the other end, with CJ Miles guarding All-Star big man Kevin Love. The Cavs would take advantage of this with multiple post-up plays run for Love who feasted on the smaller Miles in the paint.
LeBron was scoring at a decent clip up till about the 3:30 mark of the third quarter when he activated his cheat code and transformed into Basketball Jesus:
Exhibit A: Fadeaway from 15 feet over Siakam.
Exhibit B: Step-back 28-footer over Siakam.
Exhibit C: Fadeaway from 18 feet over Lowry.
Exhibit D: Another fadeaway from 18 feet over Lowry.
Exhibit E: Baseline fadeaway 17-footer over Siakam.
Exhibit F: Fadeaway from the free-throw line against Anunoby.
Good defense by DeRozan, LeBron fumbles the ball and has to pass out to Jeff Green... who nails a bail-out three-pointer.
Exhibit G: Fadeaway from about 13 feet over DeRozan.
Exhibit H: Shimmy shake and fadeaway from 19 feet over Anunoby.
I was surprised to look back at the play-by-play log to see he actually missed three shots during this stretch; watching live he didn’t seem to understand what missing a shot was. The crowd was completely stunned by his performance, an absolute erradication of any optimistic thoughts of winning a home game in the series. ESPN Play-by-play announcer Mark Jones (a native of Toronto) punctuated the punishment going into a commercial break by pronouncing the city as “LeBronto.” This honestly felt like a personal attack at the time but I have to admit it is an iconic call by a great announcer.
This game was now officially stamped as the "LeBronto" game and of course the Cavaliers would win, the final score 128-110. The national sports media and critics were not only praising LeBron’s scoring display but also annihilating the Raptors inability to win when it mattered most. To say the life had been sucked out of the fans was an understatement. The only ray of sunshine was knowing there were still 2 games remaining and if Toronto could steal one in Cleveland, they might be able to regain some confidence and momentum. All things considered, this loss stung because the Raptors played well enough to win, but LeBron was simply superhuman and single-handedly kept Toronto at bay.
#2 - 2018 – Game 3, Conference Semi-Finals @ Cleveland Cavaliers - Box Score
Down 2-0 on the road in a hostile Cleveland environment, the Raptors show up to Game 3 with focus and determination, and it seems like Dwane Casey and company know the right buttons to push. Losing Game 2 in the fashion they did was tough but the Raptors were certainly known for making adjustments and bouncing back. There is still hope that this iteration of the 2018 Raptors will pull off some heroics to climb back into the series.
The Raptors are playing hard but LeBron and the Cavs are ready for the fight, holding the lead and go into halftime up by 15. The Raptors continue to keep things within striking distance in the 3rd quarter, but are still down 14 going into the 4th quarter. DeRozan has been pretty terrible through 3 quarters (8 points on 3-12 shooting, -23 at this point), and Casey decides to bench the Raptors’ leading scorer in a move that actually benefitted Toronto. The Raptors make a spirited comeback in the most important quarter of the season, led by the tireless efforts of Kyle Lowry (15 points in the 4th) and, surprisingly, rookie OG Anunoby, who finishes with 18 in the game and contributes 11 in the 4th quarter with three 3-pointers!
For all the baskets Toronto are making to stay afloat, LeBron seems to match them with an array of daggers, just enough to maintain a small lead despite the Raptors’ onslaught. With 8 seconds left, Anunoby pump-fakes Jeff Green out of his shoes and drills a wing triple to tie the game. Cavs fans can’t believe it; it seemed like LeBron had stepped on their necks already! To that point, the Raptors had won the fourth quarter 38-23 and a reasonable amount of uncertain tension is hanging over the Cavs’ fans.
After a Cavs timeout, the Raptors appear to line up for a trap on LeBron, flanking him with Anunoby and Siakam. LeBron even cuts deep into the left corner to catch the inbound pass, but Siakam quickly clears out for some reason and LeBron now has an open floor, one-on-one with OG Anunoby, a relative child in the Pacific Ocean to LeBron’s Great White Shark.
Let’s take a minute to dissect what is happening here; arguably the greatest basketball player of all-time is handling the basketball with the game in the balance, and the very best strategy the Raptors can come up with is singe coverage by a rookie. Something seems wrong here? LeBron flies down the court virtually unimpeded, veering to his left as he crosses the three-point line. With about 1.5 seconds left, with Anunoby not nearly close enough to contest the shot, LeBron chucks up a floating runner while still heading away from the basket and banks in the game-winner.
……………………………………………………………… Are you kidding me? It seems that the only person who still had any hope at this point was Lowry, who just after the shot is trying to argue for time to be put back on the clock. The rest of the team is absolutely gutted; the bench reaction is brutal. Standing side-by-side, Powell and Valanciunas appear to be in actual pain. The high of Anunoby making the game-tying shot, only to be vanquished by the low of LeBron’s game winner was an emotional roller coaster that I would not wish on my worst enemy.
The shot pretty much sealed the deal for the series. Winning 4 straight against an opponent of LeBron James’calibre would be unheard of, and you could definitely imagine the Raptors’ collective confidence was completely destroyed after this one. Masai Ujiri was apparently livid after the loss, and rightfully so. Why didn’t the Raptors at least try to take the ball out of LeBron’s hands? 1000 times out of 1000 you would rather literally anyone else to shoot or make a play in this situation. Dwane Casey later admitted they did want to trap LeBron but for some strange reason this wasn’t hammered into the players’ heads enough.
#1 - 2001 – Game 7, Conference Semi-Finals @ Philadelphia - Box Score
The year is 2001 and the Raptors are becoming a success story after a few hard years as an expansion team starting in 1995. Vince Carter is arguably the most exciting player in the league and the Raptors have built a solid supporting cast around their young superstar. After dispatching of the Knicks in the first round in satisfying fashion, the top-seeded 76ers awaited in the Semi-Finals, led by soon-to-crowned MVP Allen Iverson. It was an epic back-and-forth series, especially with Carter and Iverson exchanging 40 and 50 point games, culminating in Game 7 in Philadelphia.
Game 7 just happened to fall on the same day the University of North Carolina's graduation ceremony. UNC Alum Vince Carter didn't want to miss out on the chance to celebrate this with family and fellow classmates. Vince decided to attend the graduation, then fly back to Philadelphia in time for the game. As you could imagine, some players resented the fact that Carter was putting himself above the team.
The Raptors trailed most of the first half, before closing the gap and keeping pace thru most of the second half in a nail-biting contest. Vince would end up shooting 6 for 18 from the field, though he did have 9 assists, 3 steals and 2 blocks in a fairly solid all-around performance. The game came down to the wire, with the 76ers leading 88-87 and the ball in Toronto's hands. A last-second VC jumper from the wing was off by inches and just like that the 2001 Raptors were eliminated from playoff contention.
This game felt like the one that got away for many reasons; Game 7’s are notoriously unpredictable, tending to be slower paced, less fouls called and maximum effort on both ends. The 76ers had a formidable group but VC and the Raptors definitely held their own in this series and proved themselves to be a worthy adversary. It was conceivable at the time that the Raptors could steal this game on the road and move on to the Conference Finals. It was inconceivable at the time that this would be the peak of the franchise for the next 15 years, until the Raptors took LeBron and the Cavs to six games in the 2016 Conference Finals.
It's debatable that the ceremony had a major impact on Carter's performance, but it’s unquestionable that Carter’s selfishness did not sit well with fans and teammates. The combination of the graduation controversy, Carter’s subpar overall performance and the missed potential-series-winner definitely sent the public opinion of “Half-Man, Half-Amazing” in a much different direction. Carter would not lead the Raptors to anything else of note after this series; blame for this cannot solely be placed on Vince for this and there is a strong argument to be made that he was never provided a decent supporting cast, but Carter’s admitted lack of effort was fairly obvious and tough to cheer for.
Time has, for the most part, healed the wounds; Carter’s actions have been forgiven (though not forgotten) and purple “Carter – 15” jerseys have gone from fire kindling to likely retired (eventually) in Toronto. He was a phenomenal athlete and iconic ambassador for early Canadian basketball, filling countless living rooms with sky-scraping dunk after dunk and steering Toronto on to the global stage. We wanted Carter to be the guy to lead Toronto to the promise land, and once he was gone there was such a monumental void left behind that it was almost filled with anger by default. Carter’s choices and performance in Game 7 were the first domino in an unfortunate divorce.
TL;DR
10 - Golden State comes back from a 27-point deficit to win by 10.
9 – Orlando’s DJ Augustin drills a triple to win Game 1 of the 2018 first-round series
8- In an absolutely crucial late-season game jockeying for the final playoff spot, Chris Bosh misses a potential game winning layup against Golden State.
7 – Vince Carter alley-oop dunks for the OT victory in Toronto.
6 - The Cavs complete the sweep and embarrass the top-seeded Raptors 128-93.
5 - The Raptors miss all sorts of shots in the clutch, dropping Game 1 in the 2018 ECSF in Overtime.
4 - Washington’s Paul Pierce nails a dagger triple in Game 3 of the 2015 ECSF series, leading to a Wizards victory and a 3-0 series lead.
3 - LeBron turns into a fade-away machine, leading to a 128-110 Game 2 victory in the 2018 ECSF.
2 - LeBron banks in the game winner in Game 3 of the 2018 ECSF to take a commanding 3-0 series lead.
1 - Vince Carter misses the potential series winner at the buzzer against Philadelphia in the 2001 ECSF.
submitted by RaisedOnSwirsky to torontoraptors [link] [comments]


2020.05.26 14:48 darby-dev Rick Astley sings "Never Gonna Give You Up" in a small Toronto bar with a giant choir

Rick Astley sings submitted by darby-dev to videos [link] [comments]


2020.05.21 14:25 Waifer2016 Gym Teacher sends toddler to the hospital- chaos ensues.

This story takes place in the deep dark years of the early 70's. Neil Diamond was singing about his Sweet Caroline, Hippies were congregating in San Francisco, and I was 4 yrs old.
When I was a tiny wee person, my family lived in Toronto and the city school system started kids in Pre-Kindergarten as young as 3 yrs old. Me, being the right age, my parents dutifully enrolled me in school and I happily toddled off each morning holding the hands of my older brothers. The school year progressed and I loved going every day. Hey crafts, naps, snacks - whats not to like!
Fast forward to June and our family moved to a new province where kids didnt start school until they were 5 (or going to be 5 before October 1st) This presented a bit of a conundrum for my parents. I had already been in school for a year , the town we moved to had no preschools or day schools at the time, so the school system decided to make an exception and allow me to attend the local Elementary in their kindergarten classroom. (boring stuff out of the way now haha
I was excited about going to school on a big yellow school bus, made friends quickly and settled into the classroom like the seasoned 4 yr old pro i was. Everything was going great ..until my very first gym class.
Pre-K classes in Toronto did not attend the school gym. Instead they played games in their own classrooms or on the playground. I had never before been to a regular school gym - nor seen any of the equipment. I happily lined up with the other short nose pickers, and skipped down the hall in my Buster Browns and through the doors of the gymnasium ..to behold (DUN DUN DUN) the parallel bars . They were tall. They were shiny. They kind of looked like weird monkey bars. I , being 4, went charging over , jumped up and started swinging on the lowest bar.
Now I am going to pause here and mention the teacher was a few bricks shy of a load. What she lacked in intelligence she more than made up in inventive ways to lie her way out of a situation and she had made 2 crucial mistakes with our class of tiny peeps. The bars had no safety mats under them and they wern't supposed to be there - at all - as they were deemed too dangerous for the smallest kids.
So there I am, the smallest of the smalls, the little one with vision problems and coordination issues who was prone to walk into walls.. running over and jumping up on these bars. I promptly fell off. Total face plant into the solid steel support beams on the bottom. The pain - and the blood- were immediate and intense. I was screaming, about 20 other littles were screaming , the teacher (apparently ) was screaming. Fortunately for me (or maybe not so much?) I passed out and woke up on a bed in the hospital with a doctor trying to stitch my chin back together.
The teacher , idiot that she was, stood beside my bed howling how it was all my fault and I was a very bad little girl and my Daddy was going to beat me when I got home because I was such a very very bad little girl! (This is what i gleaned from family lore as I don't remember much of it myself lol) Mid howl , my parents walked in to behold me laying on a bed covered in blood, and a strange adult screaming like a deranged banshee! It was a this point I passed out again.
Several days later, I was back in school with my tiny face swathed in bandages, sitting beside my best buddy when the principal came into our room and told us that Ms. (blah) would no longer be our gym teacher and was gone forever from our school. It was several years later that my older siblings explained that she had been fired immediately.
So thats my tale of how a 3ft tall 4 yr old managed to get her gym teacher fired!
TL:DR - Gym teacher was an idiot, i fell down, broke my face, she was fired
submitted by Waifer2016 to EntitledPeople [link] [comments]


2020.05.21 06:24 Waifer2016 Gym Teacher sends toddler to the hospital- chaos ensues.

This story takes place in the deep dark years of the early 70's. Neil Diamond was singing about his Sweet Caroline, Hippies were congregating in San Francisco, and I was 4 yrs old.
When I was a tiny wee person, my family lived in Toronto and the city school system started kids in Pre-Kindergarten as young as 3 yrs old. Me, being the right age, my parents dutifully enrolled me in school and I happily toddled off each morning holding the hands of my older brothers. The school year progressed and I loved going every day. Hey crafts, naps, snacks - whats not to like!
Fast forward to June and our family moved to a new province where kids didnt start school until they were 5 (or going to be 5 before October 1st) This presented a bit of a conundrum for my parents. I had already been in school for a year , the town we moved to had no preschools or day schools at the time, so the school system decided to make an exception and allow me to attend the local Elementary in their kindergarten classroom. (boring stuff out of the way now haha
I was excited about going to school on a big yellow school bus, made friends quickly and settled into the classroom like the seasoned 4 yr old pro i was. Everything was going great ..until my very first gym class.
Pre-K classes in Toronto did not attend the school gym. Instead they played games in their own classrooms or on the playground. I had never before been to a regular school gym - nor seen any of the equipment. I happily lined up with the other short nose pickers, and skipped down the hall in my Buster Browns and through the doors of the gymnasium ..to behold (DUN DUN DUN) the parallel bars . They were tall. They were shiny. They kind of looked like weird monkey bars. I , being 4, went charging over , jumped up and started swinging on the lowest bar.
Now I am going to pause here and mention the teacher was a few bricks shy of a load. What she lacked in intelligence she more than made up in inventive ways to lie her way out of a situation and she had made 2 crucial mistakes with our class of tiny peeps. The bars had no safety mats under them and they wern't supposed to be there - at all - as they were deemed too dangerous for the smallest kids.
So there I am, the smallest of the smalls, the little one with vision problems and coordination issues who was prone to walk into walls.. running over and jumping up on these bars. I promptly fell off. Total face plant into the solid steel support beams on the bottom. The pain - and the blood- were immediate and intense. I was screaming, about 20 other littles were screaming , the teacher (apparently ) was screaming. Fortunately for me (or maybe not so much?) I passed out and woke up on a bed in the hospital with a doctor trying to stitch my chin back together.
The teacher , idiot that she was, stood beside my bed howling how it was all my fault and I was a very bad little girl and my Daddy was going to beat me when I got home because I was such a very very bad little girl! (This is what i gleaned from family lore as I don't remember much of it myself lol) Mid howl , my parents walked in to behold me laying on a bed covered in blood, and a strange adult screaming like a deranged banshee! It was a this point I passed out again.
Several days later, I was back in school with my tiny face swathed in bandages, sitting beside my best buddy when the principal came into our room and told us that Ms. (blah) would no longer be our gym teacher and was gone forever from our school. It was several years later that my older siblings explained that she had been fired immediately.
So thats my tale of how a 3ft tall 4 yr old managed to get her gym teacher fired!
TL:DR - Gym teacher was an idiot, i fell down, broke my face, she was fired
submitted by Waifer2016 to EntitledBitch [link] [comments]


2020.05.13 09:40 jessebryant Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt: Pick Your Own Journey

I spent (too much) time today watching the Interactive Special and observing what effect the choices have. This post is obviously filled with spoilers, don't read it if you want the Interactive Special unspoiled.
Some of these choices seem to have smaller effects on the dialogue. For example one scene has Frederick wondering if it's racist to put all of the penguins at the same table... another version has Jacqueline complaining that she has to sit next to Buckley.
Random quotes:
  • Judas! Because you're a traitor, not because I'm jealous you got to kiss Jesus.
  • Squirrel: it's the scrod of the mountains
  • Jurassic Park rules: if I don't move, you can't see me!
submitted by jessebryant to KimmySchmidt [link] [comments]


2020.04.10 16:42 clocke3 Potential Tokyo Trip In September

Hello! My friend and I are planning a trip to Tokyo for the middle of September (we already pushed it back because of you know what, so we’re hoping to be able to get there by this timeframe). I have been perfecting our itinerary and I would love some opinions on our activities. I’m also interested in any spots we may have missed!
I will be marking down time based on Japan Time Zone. Also, we do not have our reservations made (lodging, plane tickets, etc), however we are keeping track of that rn. We are interested in lodging near Shibuya or Akihabara. We are also trying to get SIM cards and traveler’s insurance for the trip.
September 13 (JP Time) - arrive at Haneda Airport around 4 pm - get cash exchanged (we have a layover in Toronto where we could possibly exchange for cheaper, however it’s only for an hour, so we may have to wait to get to Japan to do that) - purchase Passmo/Suica cards - go to AirBnB - explore Shibuya ~ Disney Store (my friend wants to get a pin) ~ Tokyu Hands ~ GU (I love GU!!) ~ Mega Don Quijote ~ Don Don Down on Wednesday ~ Genki Sushi for dinner ~ Walk Center-gai ~ Shibuya 109 ~ Find Hachiko
September 14 - head to Ikebukuro ~ Mister Donut for breakfast ~ Sunshine Aquarium ~ Sunshine City - head to Shinjuku ~ Yayoi Kusama Museum (there’s a a chance this may be closed on Mondays; need confirmation. If it is then we’ll hold off on it for the last full day) ~ Aburasoba for lunch ~ Try cream puffs at Beard Papa’s ~ Maruhan Casino (my friend wants to play pachinko) ~ Cat Cafe Mocha Lounge ~ Hanazono-jinja Shrine ~ Walk Golden-gai ~ Thermae Yu Sento
September 15 - head to Harajuku around 9 AM (it’s gonna be a long day) ~ Meiji Jingu ~ Yoshinoya at start of Takeshita Street for brunch ~ Go along Takeshita Street (there are MANY stores I want to visit along this path, someone please tell me how long you spent on this street) ~ Go to sevens thrift store, DOG, 2nd Street, Kinji, and Nadia ~ Laforet ~ Sailor Moon Store ~ Visit Tokyu Plaza - walk to Omotesando ~ Kiddyland ~ Walk Cat Street ~ Ragtag thrift store ~ Asoko - head back to Airbnb to drop off stuff - train to Shimokitazawa ~ Hiroki for dinner (Okonomiyaki) ~ Stick Out ~ Chicago ~ Garage ~ Flamingo ~ Haight and Ashbury ~ New York Joe
September 16 - head to Tsukiji Market early in the morning - head to Asakusa ~ Get fitted for kimono/yukata ~ Senso-ji ~ Nakamise Street ~ Ueno Park ~ Return kimono/yukata ~ Imahan for lunch (sukiyaki) ~ Kakimori stationary store - head back to AirBnB - Gonpachi (Kill Bill restaurant) for dinner - Find a karaoke room and sing to our hearts content
September 17 - head to Odaiba and go to TeamLab Borderless - head to Akihabara ~ Yamashiroya ~ Hard Off Hobby Off ~ McDonald’s for lunch ~ Gamers ~ Super Potato ~ Mandarake ~ Animate ~ Taito Station ~ Gashapon Hall ~ Muji ~ Coco Ichibanya for dinner
September 18 - Find a Lotteria to get breakfast - Head to Mitaka and visit Ghibli Museum - Head back to AirBnB and order Pizza-La for dinner - Go clubbing
September 19 - check out of AirBnb and check into a capsule hotel - go to a ramen shop for lunch ~ Kikanbo (Ikebukuro) ~ Menshotaketora (Roppongi/Ginza) - free-ish day (places listed below are optional) ~ Geisha Experience with Kaiseki set (Asakusa) ~ Owl Cafe (Harajuku) ~ Peanuts Cafe (Daikanyama) ~ Flamingo Cafe (Shibuya) ~ Gotoukuji Shrine (Setagaya) ~ Shirohige’s Cream Puffs (Setagaya) ~ Bape Store (Shibuya) ~ Cup Noodle Museum (Yokohama) - places we have to visit today ~ Parco (Shibuya) ~ Kiki2 (Koenji) ~ Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure bar (Nakano)
September 20 - check out of capsule hotel - get lunch at Mentsudon (udon) - spend time in Tokyo for two hours - head back to Haneda 2 PM - return Passmo/Suica cards and head home
submitted by clocke3 to JapanTravel [link] [comments]


2020.04.10 04:43 Collectivestupidity A Fistfull of Slime

A FISTFULL OF SLIME
Intro:
Jcole:
Here ye members of the court! A tale of legend I..Jcole, have come to report!
From fire and steel to gold and ice!
To drip to drown, with virtue or vice?
In our fair land of rhyme and rhythm
What is now whole shall fall to schism
The King Youngboy, the great lord Drake!
From Kanye to Uzi’s Eternal Atake!
Great powers come to move and shift
Lend ear to my tale
And let your mind drift.
38 Baby the Second
*Whole cast celebrating in the streets for youngboys album release*
Ensemble:
Oh its time its almost time! The Great rap day awaits!
Oh it's time to drip or drown
With Youngboy’s sacred Tape!
Kanye:
I had a twisted fantasy!
Chief Keef:
And I made Finally rich
Polo G:
But next to youngboy’s greatest work we all seem like his bitch
Quando:
You old heads are so dramatic.
Ensemble:
Oh its time it's time! Everyone get frantic!
Oh it's time to drip or drown
With Youngboy’s latest antic!
Drake:
Oh youngboy of greatest slime!
This work I can't await!
For when it falls upon my ears
I'm sure that I will faint!
Youngboy:
Yes I know my little slimes I know you want this flame
But before all the hype explodes just let me say its name!
Ensemble: Thirty Eight Baby Two!!
*Ddawg nudges Quando, whispers in ear *
Both in unison:
Attention crowd! let the man speak treat his words with respect watch your attention peak.
*Quando looks at youngboy and winks, youngboy bows head slightly*
Youngboy:
ok ok, I’d like to thank you all who came to hear my proclamation.
From all corners of the nation
we build up a foundation
with hard work-determination and no incantation.
and no nothing was built on the back of 38 so I’d appreciate if y’all could wait
just a little while longer. But my what an honour to rule this fine fief or rap lords and trap queens alike and despite
the wars ending our economy’s not!
And we’ve made a play onto the global stage and stole the spot!
*Kanye points at watch*
Light, right. In conclusion our peace is might tight. But 38 2 is not ripe; believe me I’m trying to write fast and I’ll have it ready in a right flash.
Drake:
thank you for your attentive ears loyal subjects, now disperse.
Scene 1:
*The party fades and most leave, except Drake Kanye and YB*
Drake:
Ha Ha, what a show Your Slimeness!
The populace can't wait!
this album will change the game
right from under our feet all over again.
Youngboy:
Yes...Yes they did seem excited didn't they?
I just hope I can live up to it.
Kanye:
How could the first king to win his throne on one one album alone possibly disappoint.
Youngboy:
You miss the point
Drake:
let alone your ascension to the throne was spectacular now you’ve got that tone plus your vernacular *hand kiss food thingy* you're magic is here. you’ve got the people eating from the palm of your hand. True power my boy there is no equal and be most careful, for there is not always a sequel.
Youngboy:
thank you Lord Drake, Lord Kanye.
*Enter Quando Rondo and Ddawg*
Quando:
YooooOOOO! You know it’s Quando and Ddwag about to tear it up and you know I feel my talent flarein, my boy YB bout to drop the heat. But then why his company looking older than 1st street?
Ddawg:
Word.
Kanye:
I can’t believe they made it past my guards again.
*Youngboy shoots Kanye a dirty look and Kanye recomposes*
Youngboy:
I’m glad you guys are here I’ve-
Quando:
wait wa wait wat, it can wait. I’ve just received an invitation from a trio of lucky maidens to accompany them to the tavern
Ddawg:
it’d be dope to hang out as a group again.
Youngboy :
it would be
*smiles at Ddawg*
but knowing you, we’d probably end in a drunken brawl over somebody’s honour.
Quando:
like you don’t love it.
Youngboy:
that may be so, but I’ve just got a lot going on right now and with 38 2 so close, dont worry about it. As soon as 38 baby 2 drops We’ll all go out drinking fine henny until we burst.
Ddawg:
let’s make it Molly water , can’t Stand the scent of Hennesey after last time.
Youngboy:
alright
*Both look at Quando who is playing hard to get*
Quando:
ok but you’re buying.
Youngboy:
when didn’t I
*Mockingly curtsy*
both: my lord
*Youngboy laughs until he realized Kanye is glaring at him the same way he was earlier and recomposes*
Kanye:
that’s enough
*Q&D exit *
Kanye:
you know my liege, you didn’t have to bring them to the capital with you.
Youngboy:
what’s the point of being king if I forget where I came from?
Drake:
besides the boy is young, let him have his fun while he can
*pats YB on the back*
Kanye:
You know I always loved this part of the Castle.
The Hall of Kings.
From Pac to Pump
All our fabled leaders represented in carti’s glory.
One day you can be up there Youngboy.
Along with the Greats.
Youngboy:
Would you two leave me for the night?
I wish to do some thinking.
Drake:
But of course.
*Drake and Ye exit*
The Pressures of Clout
Youngboy:
Kings of Old Instruct me! Tell me what to do!
How can I make a new album, that can live up to all of you?
They all want another Untouchable, they all want another Dream
But they don't think about what it takes
To achieve that kind of Gleam
I just need more time but release day is coming
I just need the drip and the top to keep coming
I just wish that something would take their mind off it!
I just wish that I had time to enjoy my profit
I need more time
All the days that spent writing, was all for not if they don’t like it?
Even when I hear it, I know that it’s not perfect (and they deserve perfect)
The past is wall I can’t break through, the future an abyss, that holds true
I just wish that something would take their mind off it!
Just long enough to a polish all its gleam to shine!
I need more time.
If Im to do it right
the people want it done right,
tight. I’ll sit and type and every day and every night ill write
the lyrics out and print em out I’ll use my mind to the peak of it's design.
Cuz that’s part of the slimelight!
I’ll write until I lose sight I’ll write until the albums right.
And yeah I might just write until I drop dead but you have no idea how much I’ve bled! The streets discuss my album and I’m all bed if I die in the pursuits of slime then at least I’m all red.
But alas I ramble and rave in my spot
Savage asked how much I cried
A lot
I must seek council in these dark times.
I should speak with the Oracles.
*Exit Youngboy*
Scene 2:
*Enter Jcole*
Jcole:
And so Youngboy seems to lack the flame
That once had empowered him to change the game
The Council of three, he will now approach
The Migos almighty do now encroach
*Exit Jcole*
*Youngboy into Chamber of the Oracles*
Youngboy:
Oh wise Migos, oracles of trap
How can there be a who’s king afraid to rap
I made my first album with time as my leisure
And now that I've won I just can't stop the pressure! How do I tell the kingdom it’s just not ready?
Quavo:
King Young Boy that ain't why you came (Nah!) so let’s not play that game
Offset:
You're looking for a way to delay and sing more time
Quavo:
King slime you will soon encounter an immovable wall
(mama)
Offset:
and an endless abyss
(on sight)
Quavo:
to counter this you must accept the wall and jump willingly to your death
(takeoff)
Youngboy:
I needn't tell you I’ve no clue of what you speak.
Quavo:
heed our warning king!
Three migos:
a dark cloud broods over the king and thus the kingdom
Offset:
a time of strife and then some approaches
Three Migos:
even now it encroaches!
Quavo:
it toils alone and alone it is in anguish, soon to be released it's dreaded verbal ambush
Takeoff:
hiding with roaches it dwells in scwaller, yet it thinks itself a grand baller. It hides it's content and harms those it holds dearest! it do!
Youngboy:
hides it's content, verbal ambush? surely you don’t mean to say I am this cloud?
Quavo:
we tell you what we see, a simple prophecy
Takeoff:
we would not dare to tell the king what he thinks it means
Youngboy:
you mean to confuse me further? It is an irony most harsh that you can see the future yet deliver it in ways no less cryptic than the present! I came here to seek council not reproach and yet I leave further in shambles than when I came! I doubt not your words though sting me they do, perhaps I was hasty in accepting the Kings throne. I bid farewell for I wish to be alone.
Scene 3:
Youngboy:
It’s getting late, perhaps you’d best go to you chambers no?
Takeoff:
indeed king you are right
(right)
Offset and Takeoff:
Carti be with Ye king
Quavo:
you’ll need him
*Exit YB and migos*
*Enter Drake, revealed to have been listening*
Drake:
Get in here you fools,
While we are alone!
*Nav and Tory Lanez stumble in from their hiding places*
Drake:
You heard what just happened.
Not only is the king losing his will and unsure about his album, but the oracles have predicted doom to his reign!
Nav:
Is this where we come in big slime?
Drake:
It is exactly what we have been waiting for.
The boy is no tyrant or fool, but he is no one
to rule the kingdom. He lacks wisdom, and experience.
Tory Lanez:
Which is why he needs to be replaced.
For the good of the kingdom of course.
Drake:
Yes but how to challenge him?
His power from his rise still lingers,
And he has the love of the people!
Nav:
how could they not sir, his album was a certified hood classic
and it did bring about an era of unprecedented peace and econom-
Drake:
Silence fool! or have you forgotten your loyalty? If you’ve no ideas on how to de throne that brat then shut it.
Tory Lanez:
If I may sir,there is a man I have dealt with in the past who can grant what we seek.
I could have him for an audience within the hour.
Drake:
Very well, Nav Summon him.Let's hear what this Mr-
Tory Lanez:
Tecca Sir
Drake:
Right, what this Mr Tecca has to say
Twin Glocks
Knock on door at beat drop of song
Drake:
Proceed!
*Tory takes a knee at door*
Tory: allow me, to present the honorable scoundrel with no moral compass
*In strolls Tecca (skull topped cane) and the music changes to a 1930’s grimy Cajun swing*
Tecca:
you did fine my old accomplice
Now let’s get to the subject you want a certain child with a shiny chain to disappear don’t you? And I can tell from your lack of fear, I haven't told you? I have been here before. Many times in fact and each time it’s amazes me what an archetype I find with that gripe in mind of a dirty rotten king that left you behind. Now you don’t have to tell me but let’s roll the dice if you’ve still got the nerve, let’s discuss my price.
Drake:
you think you know me? Hah I’ve taken more lives than a OG I’ve told more lies than we’re told to me and I’ve dwelt with snakes for years. And Don’t talk about my fears. But if your fares are fair and the affair in order let’s start there.
Tecca:
I want land
Drake:
land? Done. I know better than to ask what for.
Tecca:
no need I’ll tell you, I’m opening up a casino. I’m not much of a gambler but I play a hell of a house.
Drake:
HA not so dull for an assassin
Tecca:
Oh I'm much worse than that my friend.
Drake: let’s hope
Tecca:
now tell me what you want 😉
Drake:
Im plotting on his down fall!
Nav and Tory:
ooooooh yeah!!
Drake:
I'm breaking out my flows
Nav and Tory:
O V O
Drake:
But I need something to take from king NBA
Something to get him away!
Tecca: that’s where I come in
Drake:
What's that nowww!
Tecca:
what’s happenin?
Goons:
Oh wow wow!
Tecca:
what’s up what’s up
Tecca:
Mr Graham my esteemed regards
You're an astute man but you're a grand mirage
We'll i've got something to turn his ice to shards
You can't beat his flow and you can't match his drip, but what if youngboy were to take a trip?! Ahhh
Drake:
Watch it
Tecca:
you want it easy? A clear path to the throne room? Well when I’m done the kingdom will owe you!
Drake and Nav:
damn right!
Tecca:
You take these twin glocks
Drake and Goonies:
Damn right!
Tecca:
and then you wait and see!
Goonies:
Oooh yeah!
Tecca:
and if you’ll follow me you’ll take him far from see
Drake:
taking youngboy for Ransom!?? I cant pull that one!
Goons: nooo no no
Tecca:
That's why you take The youngest one, and watch that youngboy run!
*music stops*
Drake: Ddawg
Where are you Ddawg
*Enter Main Kingdom cast*
Kanye:
Where could he be!
Chief Keef and Polo G:
Where we cant see!
Ensemble:
Oh ddawg you have left us! Oh ddawg don't forsake us
!!
Youngboy:
Tell me you saw him, oh somebody saw him, they just must have seen him I can't believe it!
Drake:
I searched all his favorite taverns and his home!!
Ensemble:
I heard him say it was because of the album
Youngboy:
Noooo this can't be
Ddawg would not leave like this!
Was this part of migo’s prophecy?
Nooo that can't be!
Ensemble:
it wouldn’t have happened if you dropped the album!
Chief:
What will you do oh big slime!
Ensemble:
Oh What can you do oh big slime!
Nav and Tory:
38 baby can't come in this state!
Drake:
Be quiet buffoons let the boy take the bait!
My King I can't help but realize
That your album has not materialized
Maybe if it was finished
Ddawg would not have vanished
Youngboy:
Yes. That's right. This is all my fault!
I am no man fit to be king
I don't belong here, in the palace of bling!
Youngboy:
I must take leave to bring ddawg back
the only explanation is he’s been kidnapped!
And the album...must wait for my searching spree.
I won’t release 38 baby 2 till Ddawg free!
*youngboy darts around the stage getting ready to leave*
*Entire ensemble musical gasp*
Ensemble:
till he’s free!
Kanye:
what a mess
Ensamble:
till he’s free!?
Drake:
too perfect, I must confess
Ensamble:
Till he’s free, free, freeeeeee!
*End song*
Scene 4:
Quando: I assure you folks my friend, uh, our king, will have 38 2 released on schedule.
Kanye:
for once the boy is right my liege we must prevent a panic. I give you my word as your general and friend that I will send the best men at my disposal and personally control them until Ddawg is found.
Drake:
the boy’s distress is profound let him take leave now or he’ll not drip well and drown!
Youngboy:
enough!
*long pause*
*looking at Kanye*
Youngboy:
You promise you’ll do everything you can, use every means at your disposal?
Drake:
surely my liege you mean reject this proposal!
*Youngboy raises a hand to silence drake(pissed off)*
Kanye:
yes sir, every means at my disposal.
Youngboy:
dismissed.
Kanye:
as you wish.
*Nav to tory*
The boss will be pissed!
Drake:
as you wish your highness.
*Lights dim as kanye and drake back away, crowd disperses, quando is left standing looking at Youngboy with worry*
*Low key piano*
Quando:
I’ve known you how many years?
Youngboy:
so many it’s not a matter of years
Quando:
im not a man of many fears but Ddawg is naive, and truthful to a fault. He’s like a younger brother to me.
Youngboy:
to us both.
Quando:
you see what I mean? let me go looking. You’d do the same.
Youngboy:
no!
Quando:
why not!?
Youngboy:
we’re not kids on 38th street anymore Quando, you are known as the kings best fiend, if you travel into the wastes you’ll be taken for ransom!
Quando:
you don’t know that!
Youngboy:
I won’t lose another friend because I can’t drop an album
Quando:
Well then we wait for Ye’s men.
Youngboy:
You know I can't do that.
Ddawg is my responsibility, and I will find him myself
Quando:
You can't be seri-
Youngboy:
You have always known better than to try and change my mind,
even before I was king
I’ll find him and I’ll bring him back, .
Quando:
Just promise that whether you find him or not, you will return to us
And Here take these clothes, they should disguise you on your journey..
Youngboy:
I promise Quando. And thank you.
*Exit Quando, Enter Drake*
Drake:
Sire, you should see this. A letter, seemingly left by ddwag.
Youngboy:
Open it.
Ddawg:
Yo Youngboy I hope this finds you well
Last night Quando drank until he fell.
He’d’ve broken his neck but a stranger caught him, told me it was his duty to serve the king and his army.
Like it or not we’re your best friends and like it or not we’re with you to the end but I’m not a kingsmen.
I want a life where I’m not best friend to the king or living meal to meal, is this life’s only deal for me? I wander through the streets so frequently and almost as commonly I’m asked “when’s 38 bay 2 coming, how long”
I don’t know!
It’s all too much. I hope you guys understand, I know Quando will.
Look, I’m going to the wastelands, I know I know they’re dangerous but I’ll wear a disguise and I’ll be careful who I
Talk to. I’m going to find out who I am apart from all this 38 2 hype. It’s like 38 street right? Watch your back, stay on track and be the first to attack.
See ya later home boy
You know the name with the most game, Ddawg.
Youngboy
Prepare the foriegn, I depart within the hour. I will have to see if I can bring that poor boy back,It's the least I can do.
Drake:
Do you think you can return youngboy?
Pardon me for speaking out of turn, but it seems like
If you can't produce and album, than there are those who would say you are unfit to rule.
I of course will support whatever your choice is your slimeness.
But consider the kingdom, the people.
Youngboy:
What they say is correct lord Drake.
I am no king, Im but a young boy.
I'm sorry I won't keep that promise Quando.
*Exit Youngboy*
*Enter Nav*
Nav:
What shall we do with the prisoner sire?
Drake:
Spill him. Discreetly. We have no need for ddawg to ever surface again.
*Exit Drake*
Scene: 5
*Enter Drake and Kanye*
Kanye:
Where is the king drake.
Drake:
Gone. To where I do not know.
Kanye:
When will he return?!
Drake:
I doubt he ever will.
I think he understands now, why he was unfit to rule.
One good album doesn't make a king.
Kanye:
What did you say to him Drake.
Drake:
Nothing he wasn't thinking himself.
We should not be grieving over the loss of a boy who played king.
You and I need to focus on the future of this kingdom.
About getting back what was signed away in the peace treaties, what is rightfully ours.
Do you forget our sacrifice? Do you forget the wars of the east and west, or the Altantan invasions?
Kanye:
I could never allow myself to forget.
But I do not boil in anger over wars of the past.
Wars that saw thousands die? And for what?
Spots on the billboard?
Drake:
Exactly, the wars became pointless once that king forced us to compromise.
We could have used his album to dominate the other kingdoms!
Luke Bryan would be hanged, Weezer exiled!
How many of our brothers died to rid the world of enemies that youngboy decided were our friends! I didn't get a say. The Dead didn't get a say!
Kanye:
And what would you have us do?
Lead the world into war again, because us old men cant escape our own failure?
Because it took what you call a boy to make the mature decision and end the bloodshed! I don't always understand the King, but I do understand when I see a good man, and youngboy is a good man! Better than you or I could hope to be after what we have done!
Drake:
If you won't rule with me.
Than I will rule without you.
*Drake and Kanye begin to battle, violently clashing as old men past their prime.
Kanye:
Give up drake, I was always the better fighter.
Drake:
You were. And that's why I needed help.
*Nav and Tory come from behind and knock kanye down*
*Quando enters the room*
Quando:
My Lords Im afraid the king-
Kanye:
Quando...The Guards now!
*Tory knocks out kanye*
Drake:
Quando. Oh Quando my boy Im so sorry.
But Kanye..
He-he poisoned the king before he could leave.
He tried to take the throne for himself. And he nearly succeeded.
No matter how far he is, youngboy im afraid has but mere hours to live.
Quando:
No...That can't be.
That simply...Can't Be!
Kanye was a friend he would never!
He could never!
Drake:
Believe me Quando.
I've known the man my whole career.
And not even I was wise enough to stop it.
I must go. A high lord who cant save the king from a man he has known for life is a lord who cannot rule.
Quando:
….No
Drake you must stay.
You almost died trying to save him.
Plus you are the only high lord we have left.
We need you to lead the kingdom.
If you will do it. Its what..
Its what youngboy would have wanted.
Drake:
What you ask is a lot Quando.
But for youngboy. For you.
I will try.
*Exit Quando*
Tory:
What do we do with the traitor my lor-King
Drake:
Let Baby and Gunna have him.
Im sure some time on ice in the eternal drip
will sort out kanye’s attitude
Drifting Slime
*Enter youngboy*
Youngboy:
Alone!
Roaming through the landscape!
A new kind of closeness with Vlone!
A mixture of fear and excitement!
Away from the pressures of home!
But then I remember poor ddawg
The one who I caused to be lost
I just should have listened to Quavo
And my closest friends paid the cost!
I deserve to wander alone!
I don't belong ruling a kingdom!
My arrogance would destroy the throne!
My Ignorance has beaten my wisdom!
So now I will walk
Looking for him
Hoping to set things right
And then we'll talk
I will send him back home
And I will still wander the night…
Youngboy:
Really Ddawg, couldn’t you have ran off to the kingdom of Indie instead?
*singing in distance*
Youngboy:
at last a tavern! Surely they know what way Ddawg went!
*youngboy enters tavern*
*Fantasy drinking song melody, pirate like*
Macklemore:
We drink to the health of our King!
Chorus:
we drink to the health of our king!
Macklemore
That he be wise in his rule!
Chorus:
that he be wise in his rule!
*youngboy smiles*
Macklemore:
But if he ventured here!
Chorus:
for his life he should fear!
Macklemore:
Well there’s a place and time for royalty but I’ve no time for royalty
They take and make the laws to boot
Then turn around and
Everyone: take our loot!
*youngboy shuffles over to the bar and tries to blend in*
Russ:
Well my names Russ and I made a livin!
*cheers*
Feeding the troops and on their misgivings
*cheers*
Then Barbarians went and took my field. And the crown did nothing, but expects me to yield?
*jeers*
G-Eazy:
My names gerald and most of you know me
*cheers*
And if you don’t pray you don’t owe me!
*cheers*
I was a banker of sorts, putting hearts in bags of course
*jeers*
But my deposits where good till my deposits where stole and the kingdom took my bank!
Chorus:
who do we have to thank!
Macklemore:
Well we drink to the health of king
Chorus:
and pray that he never comes!
Macklemore:
Well he’d be wise to follow that rule
Chorus:
no matter, he’s a royal tool!
Lil Xan:
*obviously drunk*
My name is uh.. Xan I think
*cheers*
Hey Russ, go and fetch me a drink!
*to the point!*
I ran a trap house of hoes with no blouse then the government took it away!
*Xan falls of stool and young boy catches him*
Youngboy:
It’s fair to think what you want young Xan, maybe the king doesn't care. But surely the peace and prosperity can bring pride for us all to bear?
*dead quiet, music stops*
G-eazy:
who are you?
Russ:
who are you?
Xanl:
who are you?
*The guys brandish weapons*
Bartender(Kendrick):
what do you intend to do?
*Macklemore walks over smiling nervously, and ushers the men to calm down*
Macklemore:
Nothing, nothing, it's just rare to see newcomers in this part of the waste.
Especially ones with such...exotic opinions.
*The Men walk away with Macklemore and Youngboy sits at the bar*
Scene 6:
Youngboy:
I’d offer you a drink in the way of thanks but…
Kendrick:
Not much of a drinker actually, providing a haven for these outcasts just keeps me busy in my old age. Now what brings a man like you here?
Youngboy:
what makes you think I’m any different from the rest of the riff raff?
*Youngboy buys drink*
Kendrick:
Despite what you see, I was once more than a humble barman, and I can tell someone from the capital when I see one. Not to mention that you don't seethe with the same hatred of the royal line as the drifters in here.
Youngboy:
May I have your name good sir?
You have done me service, and I like to remember folk that have.
Kendrick:
Most just call me Barman these days, but once I was known as Kendrick.
Those were different times altogether.
Youngboy:
If my memory serves me correctly, than I seem to recall that the man known as kendrick was a man of some renown. In fact he had produced some of the kingdoms most powerful albums during the great wars. So why leave to come bartend out here?
Kendrick:
The short answer, I was conflicted, misusing my influence, Im sure sometimes you have done the same. Abusing your power full of resentment? I couldn't keep living in that political world, so I took what I had and made this place, as a haven for those in the kingdom down on their luck, or struggling, the little slimes who need to eat.
Youngboy:
If you don’t mind me asking, what’s with the hatred of the crown here?
Kendrick:
Didn’t you hear em, we all lost something, whether by war or by peace someone always gets the short end of the stick.
Youngboy:
I thought the kings last album brought prosperity to the whole kingdom.
Kendrick:
38 baby? That album brought prosperity alright, as long as you're one of the sods lucky enough to live in a city or Carti forbid, the capital.
Youngboy:
so none of you are anticipating the sequel?
Kendrick:
Hah! You’re either the funniest bloke to come in here or the stupidest!
*both laugh youngboy takes a nervous drink*
Youngboy:
listen, to tell you the truth I’m in search of a friend of mine, he went missing from the capital and I’ve been searching for a few days trying every place I can find. *shows a picture of Ddawg* do you remember seeing him pass through here?
Kendrick:
Not at all mate, sorry.
Youngboy:
It’s no problem, thanks for the drink.
Bartender:
Before you go, let me tell you something.
These wastes, are strange places, the space between the genre kingdoms, between worlds. Some say that if you wander long enough, spirits of the past can show you what you seek. Of course it's only a legend.
Youngboy:
I suppose wandering is all I can do at this point.
*Lights fade to black*
Scene 7:
*Enter Main Cast, Drake speaking to the kingdom*
Drake:
As we all grieve of Youngboys loss
I will regrettably hold the throne as the only loyal high lord left
After the disgusting betrayal by Lord Kanye.
I swear to you citizens, that this kingdom shall regain the respect and strength it once commanded. No longer shall we fraternize with kingdoms that should pay us tribute.
Once again in this terrible time, we will bond together, and we will become stronger.
And for that to occur, the power of the crown must become stronger.
Chief Keef:
I know the Council has it's issues but it has always served the Kings well.
*Councillors agree*
Drake:
I don't intend to dissolve it councillor Chief Keef I only ask that it be handed less power. At times like these we must unite as one clear voice to reassure the people all is well, you surely wouldn’t want riots in the streets would you councillor?
Chief Keef:
Of course not m'lord
Drake:
Then I see no further topic of discussion, today's meeting is dismissed.
Polo G:
There is one other thing, my...King
There are reports of unrest in the outer territories, Lord blueface of criponia wishes to request that he be allowed more autonomy for his domain, they don't like that we are using their resources for your new projects, especially if these projects take us to war again. They are quite firm in their demands, and other local Lords in the outer lands are requesting the same. They also seem to call into question your legitimacy as king sire.
Drake:
Tell this “Blueface”, that the days where the king could be pushed around by minor lords are over. I will do with his kingdom what I see fit, and I will use their wealth as I wish.
The Resources of the kingdom, and it’s outer territories are to be funneled towards the creation of the album.
Chief Keef:
Will we be attempting to finish 38 baby two sire?
Drake:
Haha, no Councillor Keef, I'm afraid not.
The new Album will be my Magnum Opus.
More Life 2.
*Most exit, except Drake and Quando*
Drake:
You see my boy politicians are ravenous beasts, one must keep their wits about them to survive such a hunt.
Quando:
Surely then this castle is a jungle and I, a tasty meal.
Drake: How so?
Quando:
Well the way I see it, I am all that remains of Youngboys living legacy, to win the trust of the people one must display me above their mantle.
Drake:
Your thoughts are too morbid for a man of such youth, but perfect for a beast of the stone jungle!
*both laugh*
Quando:
He is really gone huh?
Ddawg and Youngboy both in one day!
I just can't accept it.
Drake:
I understand how you feel Quando.
I have been in the game for a long time now
And losing friends is a feeling I know too well.
Please if there is anything you need, just ask.
Quando:
Yes of course
Thank you, uh My King
Drake:
Call me Drizzy Quando
You are a friend of the Royal line
And you deserve a position as such.
How would you like to be hand of the king?
Quando:
It would be an honour my ki-uh drizzy!
Thankyou!
I won't let you down!
Drake:
We will do great things together Quando.
Great things.
Scene 8:
*Enter Jcole*
Jcole:
Youngboy is Lost
And Drake thinks he’s found
Both of them have yet to cover much ground
Our story continues with Drake at his keep
Meeting his council
While Youngboy does weep
*Exit Jcole, Enter Youngboy*
Youngboy:
I'm never going to find Ddawg.
I have to face it. I ignored the migos, and I drove him away.
Just further proof Im not strong enough to drop my album,
Let alone be king of anything.
*Youngboy wandering around a barren waste, goes to drink water but is out then he spots a withered tree, collapses against it and starts humming a tune.*
Youngboy:
perhaps I will rest here a moment
*closes eyes and begins to die*
Ethereal voice:
Youngboy
Ethereal voice:
youngboy awaken, it is not yet your time
Youngboy:
B-Bobby Shmurda? The King of the Past?
But how?
Bobby S:
It is true, I have passed on, and by carti’s grace I linger a spirit.
I have been waiting a long time for you to come to me Youngboy.
It is time you learned what every king must learn.
How to be who they need you to be.
Youngboy:
how do I know your not just a mirage?
BobbyShmurda:
I’m afraid you don’t but I know that you are real and so are the troubles that befall your kingdom.
Youngboy:
Yes, 38 baby 2 isn’t nearly ready and now Ddawg is missing because if it .
BobbyShmurda:
That is beside the point.
Youngboy:
what?
Bobby S:
You worry about your album, is it because you doubt your ability or do you doubt your ability because you worry about the album?
*youngboy visibly confused*
Youngboy: both?
Bobby S:
Your friend is gone,And I'm afraid it is worse than you thought.
Youngboy:
Whatever do you mean spirit? If ddawg is in trouble I must go to him at once!
Bobby S:
Not until you can answer my question.
Youngboy:
This is no time for games!
Tell me Bobby where is he?
Bobby S:
I believe I made myself clear, did I not?
Youngboy:
Very well. I will answer your question.
BS:
What caused the fall of Prince Juice Wrld?
Youngboy:
How am I supposed to- *sigh* okay uh well after his EP flopped his province went into a period of extreme poverty and ruin so perhaps, making a wack album?
Bobby S:
No
Youngboy:
I’ve no time for games Sir Shmurda and my patience is wearing thin. If you know where Dda-
Bobby S:
you will die
Youngboy:
What? Well Who doesn’t I suppose. But what’s that got to do with-
Bobby S:
Listen young king, if I tell you where Ddawg is you will die for you are not yet ready to face those who have taken him.
*youngboy thinks*
Youngboy:
Then teach me. Show me how to beat them.
Bobby S:
Iit will be a difficult journey and even after my training I can’t guarantee that you will succeed.
*Youngboy who was looking down as BS talked brandishes a smile*
Youngboy:
I’ve never had a guarantees my entire life. Give me your best shot.
Bobby S:
You remind me of the great king PAC at your age. He was also stubborn to a fault.
*Youngboy chuckles*
Bobby Shmurda:
and brave.
*Exit All*
Scene: 9
*Enter Drake, Quando, Chief keef, and Polo G*
Chief:
Well Drake,If you refuse to ride and meet with this “Blueface” What are we to do? He and other lords of the outer lands gain support with each passing day. Soon if nothing is done it shall come to civil war!
Drake:
These “Separatists” whether it’s Blueface, Tekashi or any others
Are just a mild annoyance. My Hittas are more than sufficient to repel any invasion from this Blueface in the West or 6ix9ine in the east! Right now the kingdom needs to focus on the development of my new album, More Life 2. And my plans for conquest of the other kingdoms.
Polo G:
The other kingdoms should be our allies, we can ask Weezer for help with these Border Rebels! Chief Keef is right Drake, W\with threats to the kingdom growing on the inside,
We need external allies or els-
Quando:
Show some respect!
Polo, Chief!
You question your new king!
You call him by name?
The King is right, we need to secure the homefront.
Without 38 baby 2 we need an album to sustain the kingdom.
Chief:
And you think that album is More life 2?!
Drake:
This meeting is over
Don't make any decisions you will regret councillors.
Quando with me.
*Drake and Quando leave*
Chief:
Hey Polo
Send ambassador stitches to the Duchy of Weezer,
Maybe he can get an assessment from them of how the outer lands are looking.
If the king doesn't care about keeping the kingdom whole then we have to do it ourselves.
Polo G:
Agreed. I just don't get it, Ddawg running away?
Kanye Killing the king?
And the only ones to see it were Drake and his cronies?
None of this makes sense.
Chief:
Drake and his toronto Goons
Are hiding something.
Ovo is up to something
Chief:
I don't like this new direction, I don't like this kind of flow
The situation reeks of mischief, how does no one seem to know
Polo G:
Drake is king, and ye is gone, having to hear new nav songs!
They're scheming with their evil drip, no ye no youngboy this is it!
Chief:
Ovo is up to something
Polo:
Nav and Tory good for nothing
Chief:
Mandatory Drip inspection
Polo:
lets teach drizzy drake his lesson!
Chief:
We need a plan, we need something to spill them
Polo:
Well there was something I think I heard them mention!
Some twin glocks that drake bought lowkey! They got ddawg for their evil scheme.
Chief:
It's just you and me we gotta make do, we save the game and maybe 38 baby 2
*Exit Chief Keef and Polo G, Enter Drake and Migos*
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